Hi
I have a problem getting close to people. That includes friends and boys. I know its because of my dad. He use to abuse my mom and then finally my mom kicked him out. That was about years ago. I want to know how to open up and let people in. I keep them at a distance. This has resulted in me not having a lot of friends and I've never had a boyfriend. Please help me to open up to other people.

This won't happen over night. It will take time.

Learn to smile - practice your smile in the mirror.

I storngly advie working out - running, lifting weights - yes women need ot lift light weights - it gives you CONFIDENCE!!

How old are you? If you're in school - join clubs, sports, etc.

Also - you might want to look into profesisonal help? Therpaist if you can aford one - Iam serious - you're mom will agree.

MAKE SURE TO STUDY HARD IN SCHOOL - THAT IS ALL THAT MATTERS.

Oh and remember -EVERYONE puts their clothes on one leg at a time - EVERYONE HAS PROBLEMS - EVERYONE!! Britney Spears, Paul McCartney, Bono, Reece Witherspoon, Russsell Crowe, Michael Jordon... everyone!! Everyone in life as had to over coe things - always.

It's called life!

Learn to be funn yand crack jokes - everyone loves to laugh.

The only way you will learn that usually the worst of it is a survivable event is to get out there, mix it up, get hurt and survive it! LOL What is out there is, in many ways, easier than what you have already been through. Remind yourself that you survived something difficult and build on that. Use your intuition to tell you faster here, slower there. And if you aren't sure, post another question just like you did about calling that guy back. You may be slower than some other people to let it all hang out (I know I was for a long time too) but that tall brick wall you built only comes down on your side, and one brick at a time. It helps to make girl friends too -- they can be especially helpful in lending their intuition to some things as well. I feel safer in the world with mine since it stood to reason that while a man in the throes of romance may pull the wool over my eyes, he'll have a hard time doing it to all my girlfriends too.

Unfortunately your father served as a bad role model when it came to teaching you how to relate to men. You may eventually need some professional counseling to overcome your fears and reservations when it comes to relating to others.

Thanks for the advice everyone!
I will try it and get back to you

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by thatgirl

Hi
i have a problem getting close to people. that includes friends and boys. i know its b/c of my dad. he use to abuse my mom and then finally my mom kicked him out. that was about years ago. i want to know how to open up and let people in. i keep them at a distance. this has resulted in me not having alot of friends and ive never had a bf. please help me to open up to other people.

---

Hey That Girl,

First, be proud of the person you are and love yourself. That may sound like odd advice, but it is important. Next, don't try to force it. Just be okay with yourself and pick those you wish to be friends with very carefully. Even if you only find one person you feel comfortable with, that is more than okay. Keep in mind, that when you see other people, they too have almost the same fears and desires. A desire to be accepted. Always be true to who you are and you will do just fine... Promise :) Stay in touch with us.. We do care. :)