Marriage ruinned without any real reason
Hi all,
First of all, marry christmas to all of you. Let me share with you my story. Maybe some introduction will be helpful for you to understand better the end. Im from Albania, and my soon-to-be-ex-wife is from South Africa. We met each other on Facebook, and we clicked together. We chatted for like 2-3 months on the internet, than she came here for like 3 weeks to see this place where I live, and when I asked her if she thinks she can live here, she said absolutely, there is nothing wrong with the place. Well, the place is ing boring to tell you the truth, and I was impressed from that asnwer. Anyway. After she went back home, we kept talking to each other, till we decided to marry each other, and that happened 7 months ago. Everything was great, she looked very happy, etc. after the first month of marriage, we tried for a child, and fortunatelly she got pregnant. I never saw her so happy. Everyone got happy. During this pregnancy, she was having pains and stuff, headaches, etc (she had a ing migrane, which was like under control, probably becaue of the new climate here). Unfortunatelly, she lost the baby, and she was crying like a baby for what happened. I tried to make her feel bettter, by being supportive to her. Anyway, after some time, we tried again, and she had some signs she was pregnant again, but we didn't took the pregnancy test, as it was too soon. Now I can't tell if she is pregnant or not, because of this ing damn story of nosense, like a bad book that doesn't sell more than 100 copies, cause of the bad scenario. My wife is very insecure, and jealous. She got mad at me with no reasons, only because she thought I was cheating on her or something. I can't call it love, as long as there is insecurity. She used to have cheating ex-boyfriends before, and she thought I'm one of them too. Well, I love my wife, and I tried to tell her that, but she only things I'm lying. I had to say bye to my friends, and friend's wife's, just because she things that when I'm around them, I'm really nice to them, and there must be something. The worse thing is when I had to meet the house's owner, a damn middle age, in the age of my mother (im 30), because I had to give the rent to her, and in that time she asked me if I can help her with her msn, because is blocked. So I had to say OK, and I went to her house, where she lives with her sister and her mother. Here in Albania, people use to give something to drink to their guests, so they offered me a chream wisky, and I took it. Then I left their house, went to my house (that was only 1 minute away), and kissed my wife, withought thinking she is going to make it a story, because I had nothing to hide. Well, she made it a big story, like I don't respect her, etc etc. and to tell the truth, since that night, we stopped having sex, or actually, she stopped. She was acting tired, etc etc. when I asked her, after 2 weeks, or smth, she said to me, its because I felt like kak when you went to that owners house, and I don't know what you did there. Well, she was making a story out of her mind, mostly because she was staying home all day, witought work, nothing to do, but only playing online free poker on Facebook. I tried to help her find a job, start learning my language, so she can open some beauty salon, but it seems like she lost every desire of this place and probably me too (althought lately we were speaking lots about moving in her land, south africa, so that she stops being between 4 ing walls). The only problem I had by moving there, was that I had to leave or probably see my old grandmother die, because of me leaving. Well, my wife wouldn't understand that, but instead she kept telling me that she left everything for me (wich is not true, as I told her since the beginning, its not a place for her to live here), now I can't leave someone or something for her, means I don't love her. Its like she was looking at every possible threat in our marriage. Well, is because of this poker thing, where the real happened. The last 2-3 weeks she was acting like hiding her monitor when I came into the room, didn't really care about the our dog was making around, the house that was being damn mess, etc. so I started smelling something in the air. I found out there was a guy on the poker room, where he and my wife were playing, and I saw they were calling each other hun and flirting words. Well, in my opinion, anyone can flirt with you, but its not called flirting as long as you don't accept it and start doing the same. As I found it out (she was leaving the next morning to go back home), I told her what's this story about, and she told me its nothing, just fake kisses and words. Well, I said OK, probably I'm wrong. But the next day, as she was on transit in turkey, I found out again, she was talking again to this guy, and now, more than just friendly, she was even calling love yous and stuff like that. I really got pissed off, and told her by chatting (I was home, when she was on transit) that this is not just some ing damn friend, and that I want divorce (I admit, I was like in rush). Than I left, but after 1 hour, I send her a sms, which she replied the next morning when she was finally home, and was telling me she was already home. In the evening we were speaking for like 4 hours, and I was apologizing for what I said, that I never meant the divorce, but that we have to do something for the marriage to work, and that is me moving there with her, and she stoping this poker thing. She said no way, I'm already addicted to poker, and I won't stop. Than she said OK, fine I stop (which was just a lie, because she never did that). Well, I thought now everything is clear, so I left. The next day I found out they were acting more intimate toward each other, so I couldn't handle anymore this , lie after lie, and I sent her mother a big email, telling her that I'm done with her, and that if she has a kid with me, she must better take it off, because that kid will have a bad life, without the father, or the mother. I know, this was harsh, but was never meant, I lost my temper. Well, since that mail, she didn't used to reply to my message, mails, or anything, until 2 days ago, when she said that what I said, was very painfull, etc etc. I said to her again I'm sorry, for the way the things took path, and that I don't want this marriage to stop, I want to work on things between us, and if she feels like it, she can try it too. Well, I took a message from her, that she didn't replied to me, and was being spitefull, just to make me feel how it feels. I said to her, if you don't love someone, you just don't care to make him feel how it feels, so what's this thing now. Well, I got an answer about that trying to make it work, telling me that she doesn't know if its worth trying it. I haven't spooken to her from 2.5 days already, and I know she still plays poker, and speaks to this guy on the phone, who lives 8 hours with plane away from her. The funny thing is that on 21 November, she used to send him a message telling him that she is married, and she lives in Albania only because of me, and she is ing bored, and she doesn't call them, because she doesn't want to hurt people, and she doesn't want to find herself in , and she feels sorry if she gave them wrong impression. Than, once she is there at her home, she gives him her phone number, etc. I don't know people, but like this doesn't happen everyday, does it ? Give a name to my story, because I'm thoughtless.
