I'm 22yrs old and in a relationship which I've bin in for 4yrs.I do love him but not in love because I can't get over my first love.I met my first love when I was15 and he was 14.I didn't love him at first but after a few weeks I really fell for him.we were together for nearly 2yrs and the reason we split up was because I cheated on him.I no your going to say its my fault but I only did it because his mum hated me with pashion and thought I was taking her little boy off her and he was always grounded.the time we had was amazing and I always change it for the world.when we split up I couldn't get over him and cryed myself to sleep every night then 2yrs past and just went with anyone so I could forget and now I've met someone and bin with him for 4yrs its good but every second I think of my first love,and now what makes it worse I got back in touch with him and he has a girlfriend and even more heart broken I've asked for him back but he's not bothered,he said he could neva trust me again.I need someone to help if they can I don't no what to do.

I don't think its fair on your current boyfriend.
Would you like it if it were vice-versa? If your answer is NO I suggest you break up with your current boyfriend and start working your yourself.

You can't change the past. What you did is irreversible and I honestly can't blame your ex for not trusting you again. You said were totally in love with him but yet you cheated :confused:. (and don't blame his mum)

Well as they say you learn from your own mistakes and remember that going with everyone that comes along is not going to take your pain away and neither help you forget!

I think you actually should leave the current guy + you need to go back to school.

I can't read your post. You really need to grow up learn to write properly and I am serious.

Thinking about past lovers means you have unresolved issues currently. It was broke for reason. What he is today is not what he was. That was water under the bridge. It's the past - it's unhealthy to dwell in the past.

But at 22 - you need to date - too young to be in this long relationship and then have these feelings.

AND if your old guy can't trust you - well - you have stuff to work on.

No trust - no relationship.

Obvisouly you did something to betray him - for get the OLD boyfriend.

I think you probably really just need to be single for a long time and work o nimpriving yourself.

Of course he can't trust you. You cheated on him. That trust went out the window the moment you cheated and you isn't ever getting it back sorry.

Also you have to leave the current boyfriend. You don't love him.

You need some time alone to sort out your feelings and work on your issues. It seems like you have many.

It appears that you haven't been with your ex for many years yet you still think about him all the time.

Not healthy. Break with current BF as it won't work anyway, and work on yourself!

O.K.

I'm not usually this harsh in my response but I need to give an honest reply..

You firstly need to finish with your current boyfriend.. This is not fair on him and you can't love him if you still think about the ex you cheated on years ago.

Everyone makes mistakes and yes, you made a bad one all those years ago cheating on your ex.. and of course he does not trust you, neither would I.

Sorry but what has the mother got to do with it? o.k she may have disliked you, but what right did that give you to take it out on your ex? What justice does this serve?

I know you were young and we all make mistakes and fall short of perfection but this ex was long gone years ago, moved on with his life.. Just think of the pain you must have stirred up again when you contacted him. It must have hurt him somewhat.

I agree with the others, you need to split from your current boyfriend and work on some issues--SERIOUSLY..

Anyway, sorry if that was harsh and besides this, I wish you well for the future!

And also, don't dwell on the past so much.. You did a bad thing but you must work on yourself and improve yourself..

I'm not saying a permanent split from your current boyfriend, but perhaps a temporary split so you can work on certain issues..

4 years have passed, this is unhealthy to say the least.

Think about it! Move on!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Wildcat21

you need to go back to school.

I can't read your post. You really need to grow up learn to write properly and I am serious.

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I know, I brought this up in another topic. What is wrong with some of these posters. I'm all for more information. I love it when people write everything. I feel much better giving them a response but how can you through life writing like that.

Sorry off topic but I had to rant.

You know the answer as well as the rest of us. This is something that ended over 4 years ago. You've got to put it behind you and move on with your life. Until you do, you're not being fair to yourself or anyone else. It's natural to have memories of the past but understand that they are just that ; memories, and nothing more. Don't let the past keep you from living life in the present or the future.