My son recently separated from his wife of 2 years. I think they have been separated for 2 or 3 months now. She and I were not close. My son often came to family events without her. All I know about the separation comes from my son who says she didn't like him drinking with his friends. I don't need to know more. The problem for me now is she has sent a Christmas card and an email. My son is here for the holiday. He has apparently seen her and she has sent me a Christmas gift. I didn't realize she had sent me a gift until I heard him arguing with her on the phone about when he should give it to me... I think I am going to return it and tell her I do not want any gifts as I don't want to be in the middle of their feud. I may also suggest they look into counciling as she seems to be reaching out to me, and my guess is she wants me to help them work it out.

Excepting a Holiday gift wouldn't put you in the middle of anything. Giving it back might though. What would you say if they got back together? Many couples reunite after a separation. When you call, or write, to thank her for the gift, say that you would like to try to stay out of their argument. Im sure she would understand. Tell her you would like to see them get help.

It is possible for her to be friends with you without involving her husband. You are a separate person from him. She is recognizing you as a friend and showing you kindness. It is much better than the opposite. Why be judgmental? Accept the gift and stay out of what you want. You don't have to be in the middle of anything and you can tell her or just remain obviously neutral by not getting involved.

There is no reason to insult her and tell her to take the gift back. That may be very hurtful. Most people have inlaws that they don't get along with, but learn how to stay out of the fire. Remember, there are always two sides of the story.

Thank you both. It seems perfectly clear to me now.