Devastating breakup up / 2 days later together.
Hey,
We have been dating for 3 years, and 3 days ago or so I broke up with her, and a day ago we talked and got back together... The thing is I broke up with her because I simply was not happy anymore. I was unsure of my future, what I'm doing with the rest of my life, as well I wanted to have a life again. I'm 22, she is 21, and I'm in my last year university. I knew she would blow up when I broke the news, because it did seem rather abrupt.
She did explode. Sent me numerous emails, texts, and even videos of how she was feeling and breaking down, what she was doing etc. I understood and would send a short email, or text back in reply saying I was sorry, and how I wanted to talk. This is because she wouldn't let me say anything the moment we broke up.
2 days go by and then finally we get to talk... This however was after driving my car around the city trying to find her, as she's somewhere, and just giving me clues. I find her in a parking lot in her car, with a coffee with rum in it, and a razer blade, all windows drawn (its dead winter), and cold air blowing through the vents. It was awful! I just cried, held her, warmed her up and threw her stuff away. It was mostly a scare or something though. She didn't drink much, and she sort of attempted to hurt her arm with the blade trying to write 'hurt'.
This was not my girlfriend before. We talked for a good three hours I explained all my reasoning and stuff, so we decided to try again, but rewind and slow down.
She had just started college across the country in September, and had just come back home a week and a half ago, but I didn't feel this was a problem either as we talked every night, and she came back one week she had off, and I visited once. However when she is here, we spend literally every day together, not one apart or little time apart even with friends. So this was another problem addressed. I said I NEED time alone, which she has the hardest time comprehending. I do not understand. I wake up, she wants me to text her. I do something again another text, she sends them all day even if we are not together. If I don't she goes on a rant of how frustrated she is. She over reacts slight changes in daily schedules, or if I want to do something alone, or with someone else. I love this girl SO much, but it seems life is ridiculously tough with her. There is no more 'me'. Even when she was across the country at school she demanded texts all day, would get mad at how I scheduled my day, or who I attempted to spend time with. If I was late to video chat her at night because I was at a dinner with my family even.
I know we are trying this out again. I just don't know whether I have made a mistake. She has such a hard time adapting. It's the holidays and we did have plans for both family dinners on christmas, and christmas eve stuff, but I'm actually unsure about even going over to her house because she lives with her parents when she is in town, and they had to deal with her the couple days we were broken apart. I know that seems cowardly of me. Im not sure if I just need more time apart still, or if I made a mistake. Because I honestly don't feel happier.
