Okay I'm 16 and my best friend is 17 and we've been friends for 5 years and we been through a lot but a year ago I started having feelings for him and fell in love with him and I didn't know how to tell him but that wasn't the only problem, my little sister who is 14 is best friends with him to and we are always fighting cause I swear he likes her or its just that he likes her better than me and she is always in the way everything I have she has to have it I can't have anything to myself not even my best friend they are always talking more than me and him does and it annoys me I just hate the fact I lost my best friend to my little sister and I was going through a lot the past couple of months I was in the hospital for cutting and depression and a custody battle cause I wanted to live with my mother because I couldn't live with my father any more because was 1 of the reasons I started cutting but the judge decided to keep things as it is and in all of this my best friend wasn't there because of my sister and I decided to tell him everything about how I feel about him and he acts as if I never said anything and when I confronted him about it and he got mad because I said I loved him and how I couldn't be his friend if he was my sisters and he was losing the one person who cared most about him, he doesn't ever hold on to the people who actually care about him but is surrounded by people I know would hurt him and or he would eventually let go of them so now we only talk if we see each other and that's rarely but my sister she's always talking to him up all night talking to him and she knows it bugs me both of them do well pretty much everyone knows it bugs me but they don't care and I really miss him so anyone have any idea on what I should do?

You set the rule, he could not be your friend, if he was with your sister,

Did you want a best friend, or a boyfriend, they are not the same thing.

At the end of the day, esp at 16 and 14, boyfriends will come and go by the dozens normally, sisters are always suppose to be there. Letting a boy come between you two is one issue.

Another is he "firends" or a boyfriend to your 14 year old sister, a 17 year old has no business dating a 14 year old.

You put this friend of yours into a difficult position. You were forcing him to pick one of the two of you. It sounds like with what has happened in your life, you really need a friend. Your sister can be a great friend. As mentioned above, your sister will always be your sister. It really sounds like the two of you need each other.

The thing that concerns me most is not this situation with this boy, but that you are/were depressed and cutting. I won't lecture you, as I hope you have already heard an earful, but I hope you are getting some kind of support.

I would try to take care of yourself and your sister before worrying about boys.

My sister puts everyone before me the problem with her is she wants everything esp everything I have and yeah he shouldn't be dating her and suppose ably they are just friends but when everyone see's them it looks like so much more and at this point I just want my best friend not a boyfriend but that can't happen if their friends everything I tell him he tells her or I tell her she tells him so he's not being the friend he was before they met

I am trying to take care of myself but what's going on with my family my sister turned on me so I can't even get close to her we don't even talk like we use to she just thinks what I'm doing or feeling is stupid so I don't feel the need to try and get close to her again

Well, I would re-evaluate what you consider a best friend. Obviously if he is telling your sister the things you tell him, then he (in my opinion) does not rank highly as a friend.

And it is unfortunate that you sister is ostracizing you. I wish I had a solution to that, but I don't. Hopefully she will eventually realize the mistake she is making.

The only advice I really have to offer is to try and let go of him and either turn to more reliable friends, or find new ones.

Thanks. I think I should try any let him go I have more reliable friends

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Originally Posted by dreamerjay

thanks. i think i should try any let him go i have more reliable friends

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I am impressed. Not too many people would take that kind of advice so well. You are a strong individual.

Thanks, I starting thinking it was time for a change after all the stuff I had to deal with I needed to let go of the negative things in my life