Hi. My name is Crissy. I live in Florida, I'm 22 years old and I've been a stripper for almost 4 years. I don't know if I'm just having a bad day or what, but I really need some help. Some serious advice from someone who seriously thinks they can help. And if you read this whole thing, God bless you. I'll start from the beginning...

I started dancing because I was 18, out on my own, working my butt off and barely making ends meet. After a nasty break up, I was on the verge of having to sleep in my car and I decided I would try dancing to see how the money was. Needless to say, the money was excellent. I was making in one night what I would make in 2 weeks at my restaurant job... in cash. And it has only gotten better- the money that is. Now, I really know what I'm doing. I know how to work my customers and get as much money as I can without doing anything illegal. A lot of the time I'm just talking with them for hours. On a bad night I'll still make no less than 100... an average night is about 300 or 400... a good night- 800 to 1,000+.

Basically what I'm saying is that I'm addicted to this income. And while I wish I didn't have to take my clothes off for money, I actually don't really mind the job. Yeah I get a few jerks here and there, but I can easily blow them off and talk to someone who just wants company and to be around a pretty girl.

I know I do not want to be a stripper for the rest of my life. I ABSOLUTELY CANT. The biggest problem is that I have no idea what I want to do with me life. In 2007 I attended Massage Therapy school, graduated and worked for 2 years [while still dancing, and having it be my main source of income] but I was incredibly miserable. I quit, and now I just dance. All I can think about is how I desperately want to maintain the lifestyle I've created for myself.

I know I'm a smart girl and I have a good head on my shoulders. Not to toot my own horn, but I genuinely believe I am not like a lot of the girls I work with. I do what I do FOR THE MONEY. Not the lifestyle. I do not do drugs what-so-ever. I have never prostituted myself EVER. I do not drink alcohol, I am responsible, mature and driven. I am just very very LOST. I have a variety of interests like traveling, writing, sports, movies, music, art etc etc... but one big fear that is probably holding me back is my fear of being back in school. I get extremely anxious thinking about having to be in school for 4 years. Sometimes I think I would be great in the entertainment industry but I know it's so hard to get your foot in the door. Sometimes I think about acting, but that can take years and years to go anywhere and if it does, the money can't be that great unless you make it big. Sometimes I think of being a flight attendant but I have a dog that I can not give up. I've thought about becoming a teacher, but the pay is just not there and the schooling required scares the hell out of me. With every possibility I seem to find a reason why I wouldn't work. Could that be because I secretly don't want to quit dancing?

This is another big problem for me... What I want more than anything else in my life is a family. I'm crazy about kids. I love being around children, playing and interacting with them and I'm really great at it. I want to be a mother soooooo badly it makes me want to cry when I think about it. And I want to do it right: Husband first, then baby. But I know that no good, respectable, quality man wants to marry a stripper... right? I believe that I'm a great catch... I'm faithful and loving, giving and considerate, supportive and fun. I have a lot to offer, but I can understand for a man it would be difficult to date someone in the sex industry. The kind of man I would want anyway...

So, in conclusion, I just need advice. Advice on what to do with my life. I need a new job. I desperately want to find a man and settle down. I need a change, I just don't know. I'm willing to do whatever it takes- I would just rather not have to go to school for forever. I'll move out of the country if I have to, if there's a great opportunity. If you think you can help, please reply. Thanks for reading.

Crissy

You are definitely addicted to the easy money you are making being a stripper. Any other job you'll have to actually do some work at either physical or mental. Being a massage therapist is good money but apparently not enough for you. You need to step back and take a look at the whole picture of you. It is not going to be easy since you've been bitten by the easy money bug.

If you already have the massage therapist schooling under your belt and can make a living doing that why not get a daytime job doing just that and attending school at night for a different career. You need to remember that just raking in the dough should not be your end all to end all in chosing a career or profession. You need to pursue a career along the lines of things you like and enjoy or fascinate you. This way when you do go to work every day you will not be bored or wonder just how much money am I going to have in my hot little hand at the end of each week to go squander on frivilous stuff to my heart's content.

I'm old. Been there, done that. I have pursued every kind of industry that ever interested or fascinated me. From radio stations, television stations, advertising agencies, magazines, insurance agencies, architectural firms, law offices (many different kinds of law), yacht broker, yacht cleaning company owner, long distance trucking, banking, etc. I found employment in those industries and had fun at every job I've ever had. If I had to chose just one of those jobs and stick with that job for 30 years I'd lose my marbles a long time ago.

You may have to hold many, many jobs in your lifetime until you hit on the one job that suits you best and one that you want to continue working at.

As far as finding the right man, getting married and having kids. That's great and all and will happen to you in due time. I would not recommend dating any customer of yours from the stip joint though. Not good marriage material.

You are young. You will find your way in life. Give it some time. Get away from the easy money though after you've saved your money so you can survive on less money in the coming years.

Crissy, are you saving any of this money at all? If you are sincere that you want to make a change and find something different having the cash will allow you to make that decision without the pressure of living paycheck to paycheck.

I can see where the income you are receiving and what that gets you can be addictive. But if you plan ahead and have a financial security blanket it will help you make the right decision.

And I do know what you are talking about and the stigma attached to a stripper. Years ago I dated a stripper for a short time, she was very needy emotionally and desperately wanted 'out.' An extremely beautiful girl I felt so bad for her and the situation she was in. But she couldn't change and you are right, I couldn't either. As I understand it, there are other addictions also Crissy. Something about being up there on stage getting all the attention and adorations. It is like a drug according to her.

Wishing for something is nice, but absolutely deciding to plan and follow that plan to it's conclusion is another thing. Set dates for the things that you want to do and succeed in, use them as benchmarks. Go to an employment agency maybe...

Make your first goal an easy one, start researching different fields that may interest you and that you feel are realistic and that you could succeed in. Then pursue each in detail.

A starting suggestion, since you have your degree in massage therapy, why not research starting a business of your own and develop several of these locations? You run them all.

I sincerely wish you well and I wish you success hon...

Stringer

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by crissyrose

So, in conclusion, I just need advice. Advice on what to do with my life. I need a new job. I desperately want to find a man and settle down. I need a change,

---

Hello crissy:

Look, this isn't very difficult. There aren't a whole lot of choices... If you don't want to go to school, there are only TWO ways I know of, where a NON professional person can make a LOT of money. Those are, (1) direct marketing (yes Amway) and (2) real estate investing.

About the man. I don't think you're going to find one in your present business. That's cool. Use your present business to springboard you into another one where you CAN meet a nice guy.

excon

Ok, surprised excon was not going to offer to be the man

But I know and have known over the year dozens or more strippers. So many were college students who used this to pay their way though college, some even nursing school.

First set a budget and learn to live on it, and start saving money, Do you have a 401K or a IRA set up yet, do you have a savings plan, if not that is one of the first things,

Perhaps look at buying a home. As a investment.

So setting some realistic money goals and budget is a must.

Next don't look for a man to be your savior, look at a job that can lead you to be independent, and then be ready to be a equal with a partner.

All of your replies are very much appreciated and I feel a lot better :) one thing I would like to clarify... I'm not looking for a man to be my easy out. Just someone to share my life with. Just wanted to say. Thanks again!!

Chrissy this is a super old post but if you ever happen to read this again email me <email removed>