I'm a stripper and I do not know what to do with my life. Here's my situation.
Hi. My name is Crissy. I live in Florida, I'm 22 years old and I've been a stripper for almost 4 years. I don't know if I'm just having a bad day or what, but I really need some help. Some serious advice from someone who seriously thinks they can help. And if you read this whole thing, God bless you. I'll start from the beginning...
I started dancing because I was 18, out on my own, working my butt off and barely making ends meet. After a nasty break up, I was on the verge of having to sleep in my car and I decided I would try dancing to see how the money was. Needless to say, the money was excellent. I was making in one night what I would make in 2 weeks at my restaurant job... in cash. And it has only gotten better- the money that is. Now, I really know what I'm doing. I know how to work my customers and get as much money as I can without doing anything illegal. A lot of the time I'm just talking with them for hours. On a bad night I'll still make no less than 100... an average night is about 300 or 400... a good night- 800 to 1,000+.
Basically what I'm saying is that I'm addicted to this income. And while I wish I didn't have to take my clothes off for money, I actually don't really mind the job. Yeah I get a few jerks here and there, but I can easily blow them off and talk to someone who just wants company and to be around a pretty girl.
I know I do not want to be a stripper for the rest of my life. I ABSOLUTELY CANT. The biggest problem is that I have no idea what I want to do with me life. In 2007 I attended Massage Therapy school, graduated and worked for 2 years [while still dancing, and having it be my main source of income] but I was incredibly miserable. I quit, and now I just dance. All I can think about is how I desperately want to maintain the lifestyle I've created for myself.
I know I'm a smart girl and I have a good head on my shoulders. Not to toot my own horn, but I genuinely believe I am not like a lot of the girls I work with. I do what I do FOR THE MONEY. Not the lifestyle. I do not do drugs what-so-ever. I have never prostituted myself EVER. I do not drink alcohol, I am responsible, mature and driven. I am just very very LOST. I have a variety of interests like traveling, writing, sports, movies, music, art etc etc... but one big fear that is probably holding me back is my fear of being back in school. I get extremely anxious thinking about having to be in school for 4 years. Sometimes I think I would be great in the entertainment industry but I know it's so hard to get your foot in the door. Sometimes I think about acting, but that can take years and years to go anywhere and if it does, the money can't be that great unless you make it big. Sometimes I think of being a flight attendant but I have a dog that I can not give up. I've thought about becoming a teacher, but the pay is just not there and the schooling required scares the hell out of me. With every possibility I seem to find a reason why I wouldn't work. Could that be because I secretly don't want to quit dancing?
This is another big problem for me... What I want more than anything else in my life is a family. I'm crazy about kids. I love being around children, playing and interacting with them and I'm really great at it. I want to be a mother soooooo badly it makes me want to cry when I think about it. And I want to do it right: Husband first, then baby. But I know that no good, respectable, quality man wants to marry a stripper... right? I believe that I'm a great catch... I'm faithful and loving, giving and considerate, supportive and fun. I have a lot to offer, but I can understand for a man it would be difficult to date someone in the sex industry. The kind of man I would want anyway...
So, in conclusion, I just need advice. Advice on what to do with my life. I need a new job. I desperately want to find a man and settle down. I need a change, I just don't know. I'm willing to do whatever it takes- I would just rather not have to go to school for forever. I'll move out of the country if I have to, if there's a great opportunity. If you think you can help, please reply. Thanks for reading.
Crissy