Hi. I married my roomate/friend/person I dated after drinking some wine, and being on zanex at his friends friends who is a notorary on fri sept 23. So then I went to the courthouse Monday to file for an anulment, and they said because it wasn't done in a church that they couldn't. My friend told me not to worry about it and I tried to work it out because I liked him.Then I found out he's an illegal immigrant using me for papers, and he turned very controlling and violent, so I left. A mutual friend introduced us, and he told me he had papers.Now we are not living together, he doesn't know where I am, and my family doesn't even know I'm married because I don't want them to stress. I just want to get out of this, and not see this person anymore. I'm also laid off, on unemployment so I was wondering if I could do this process, or some of it myself.

I would start with your local Police Department.

If you are saying that the drugs and alcohol were used with the purpose of committing an illegal act, which immigration fraud is, then there has to be a formal complaint filed on all of it.

You have been used and duped into marrying a man for illegal purposes.

After you file a police report, ask them who to speak to regarding the marriage for citizenship crime, and they will direct you.

You may also want to seek guidance from a lawyer in order to find out how to have the marriage declared void.

Please don't wait to tackle this. If you don't, and it is found out that you were part of this scam, you could be in a lot of serious trouble yourself.

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Originally Posted by sweetart

Hi. I married my roomate/friend/person i dated after drinking some wine, and being on zanex at his friends friends who is a notorary on fri sept 23. So then I went to the courthouse Monday to file for an anulment, and they said because it wasn't done in a church that they couldn't. My friend told me not to worry about it and i tryed to work it out because i liked him.Then I found out he's an illegal immigrant using me for papers, and he turned very controlling and violent, so I left. A mutual friend introduced us, and he told me he had papers.Now we are not living together, he doesn't know where I am, and my family doesn't even know i'm married because I don't want them to stress. I just want to get out of this, and not see this person anymore. I'm also laid off, on unemployment so I was wondering if I could do this process, or some of it myself.

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None of this makes sense.

Assuming that this took place in the USA, the location of your "marriage" makes no difference - the only thing that should matter is if you signed a marriage license. I highly doubt that you went to the county clerk's office with the proper documentation, applied for and received a valid marriage license all in one afternoon - all while drunk and high.

Has a marriage license actually been filed? If not, then you are not legally married. Also, the laws have changed - just getting married to a legal citizen doesn't make you eligible for citizenship.

I agree, This. First you have to obtain a marriage license. Then, it makes no difference who marries you, a clergyman or a notary. As a notary I married a few couples in my time. Then the notary/clergyperson must sign the marriage license and return it to the Clerk's Office for filing. If all the above has been done, then you are legally married. If the license was not signed and returned by a notary, there was no marriage.

You need to go in person to the Marriage License Department of your local courthouse and see if there is any marriage license on file prior to you trying to get anything annulled. You just may find out you are NOT married to this person after all.

This, and Twinkie,

I hope that she isn't. Let's hope she comes back with a little more information.

I presumed that the notary covered the paperwork, maybe not.

Sorry no, first during business hours you go in together and get a business license. A notary can not get them their marriage license, it has to be done in person. Next after the marriage is done, the license is sent in.

Next and I have to laugh no idea who you talked to at a court house but you don't go in and talk to anyone, you would hire an attorney to file a petition in court for an annulment or a divorce.

There are religious annulments and civil ones the clerk you must have talked to was most likely merely making fun of you.

Personally, I think Drug or alcohol should disqualify anyone from a divorce or annulment even though its not currently.

That will teach people to take responsibility for their actions when they decide to get stoned or plastered.

Thank you all for your reply. I did go get the marriage license because I was dating him, and thinking about it. At the time, he told me he had his papers. I was perscribed Zanex, but am no longer taking it. After we did that I came to my senses and told him I wouldn't marry him, and then on the last day at 6 while being on zanex and having been drinking wine I did it because he was mad at me. Stupid reason to marry someone right? I figured I could try with him because I liked him. I have called the police on him 2x when I was able to run out the door into the parking lot, and I told them he's been violent. The neighbors have called the police, but I told them I just wanted to leave and he didn't hurt me that day because I don't want a crazy violent person being mad at me, and I felt bad for him, which I completely do not anymore. I understand obviously I need my head checked and counseling.If I have to get a divorce, I will, but I would much prefer to get an anulment and never see him again. I went to the courthouse Monday after this happened, he knew I wanted an anulment, I didn't know you had to file anything, but he apparently did after I told him I wanted an anulment because I received a letter in the mail about this. I'm surprised you can even marry someone illegal;it should be illegal. I was in contact with the crisis hotline in the county I used to live in. (Lee county), but I left and came to my sisters instead. I know I should not have done what I did, but it's not okay for him to lie to me, and use me and abuse me is it? I'm trying to figure out how to get out of here, not how I got here. Obviously I was not in my right state of mind even without zanex and wine. He was charming and he lied to me, and I was lonely. I want to take care of this asap, I'm laid off on unemployment, I can borrow some money, but does anyone know if I can take care of this myself, or if I can find a lawyer with payment options. Tomorrow I am going to call the courthouse again and ask to speak with someone else, although I spoke with two people, and call lawyers in the phone book.

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Originally Posted by sweetart

Thank you all for your reply. I did go get the marriage liscence because I was dating him, and thinking about it. At the time, he told me he had his papers. I was perscribed Zanex, but am no longer taking it. After we did that I came to my senses and told him I wouldn't marry him, and then on the last day at 6 while being on zanex and having been drinking wine I did it because he was mad at me. Stupid reason to marry someone right? I figured I could try with him because I liked him. I have called the police on him 2x when I was able to run out the door into the parking lot, and I told them hes been violent. The neighbors have called the police, but I told them I just wanted to leave and he didn't hurt me that day because I don't want a crazy violent person being mad at me, and I felt bad for him, which I completely do not anymore. I understand obviously I need my head checked and counseling.If I have to get a divorce, I will, but I would much prefer to get an anulment and never see him again. I went to the courthouse Monday after this happened, he knew I wanted an anulment, I didn't know you had to file anything, but he apparently did after I told him I wanted an anulment because I received a letter in the mail about this. I'm surprised you can even marry someone illegal;it should be illegal. I was in contact with the crisis hotline in the county I used to live in. (Lee county), but I left and came to my sisters instead. I know I should not have done what I did, but it's not okay for him to lie to me, and use me and abuse me is it? I'm trying to figure out how to get out of here, not how I got here. Obviously I was not in my right state of mind even without zanex and wine. He was charming and he lied to me, and I was lonely. I want to take care of this asap, I'm laid off on unemployment, I can borrow some money, but does anyone know if i can take care of this myself, or if I can find a lawyer with payment options. Tommorow I am going to call the courthouse again and ask to speak with someone else, although I spoke with two people, and call lawyers in the phone book.

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You're mixing too many issues in with this. It's not right that he's illegal, it's certainly not right for him to lay a hand on anyone - you or anyone else. You made a choice to mix alcohol with prescription drugs, but I'll save that lecture for another thread. All those things, while interesting, have absolutely no bearing on whether you can get an annulment or a divorce.

Contact the county clerk to find out if the marriage license was actually filed. Just because you went in and registered for a license doesn't mean it was filed.

In order to see yourself clear of this, you need to find out what you can do.

It is enough that he used you fraudulently, with pressure, and with assistance from his friends, to obtain a legal marriage.

You were not unconscious when you got the marriage licence, signed it, or married him. Your culpability lies in whether you committed a criminal act of immigration fraud, and I don't think you did.

Stick to the facts when you are talking to someone from the courthouse, and if you can, make an appointment with an immigration lawyer after that, who is familiar with these types of situations.

When you know exactly if the license is actually valid, and you are married to him, filing for a divorce is the only way to go. Your lawyer will be able to take care of that for you as well.

I got a letter in the mail of certification of the marriage. I didn't know he was illegal,and he lied to me. I want an anulment. Today I paid 325 to a paralegal service online, and am waiting for the paperwork back, and bringing it to the courthouse, I am stating fraud, intoxication, and duress as reasons for anulment. If he can't be found, they said they could help me get a default anulment.So, the people I spoke with today, said I just need to bring the papers to my local courthouse, not the county this happened in, and wait for him to be served and have a courtdate. He lied to me about being an illegal immagrant, obviously was only using me because he got violent immediately after the marriage, and I was intoxicated. As for immigration fraud, I didn't know he was illegal, because he told me he wasn't, he was working too, with a license number, business cards, and all. After we got married he started demanding me to give him all sorts of paperwork on me, my birth certificate, last places I worked, income taxes, and sign a bunch of stuff, I haven't helped him with one thing. He also offered me 8000 dollars to stay with him, and pay off my car, and I told him I'm not for sale, and there is nothing he could do to make me stay with him. So, I'm not sure what I need to say, maybe all of it. But I'm not helping him, and I want out. He lied to me, and was using me, he has not gotten any type of reward out of marrying me,he has not got his license, permit, passport extended, or green card. I really want this annulled, not a divorce.

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Originally Posted by sweetart

I got a letter in the mail of certification of the marriage. I didn't know he was illegal,and he lied to me. I want an anulment. Today i paid 325 to a paralegal service online, and am waiting for the paperwork back, and bringing it to the courthouse, I am stating fraud, intoxication, and duress as reasons for anulment. If he can't be found, they said they could help me get a default anulment.So, the people I spoke with today, said I just need to bring the papers to my local courthouse, not the county this happened in, and wait for him to be served and have a courtdate. He lied to me about being an illegal immagrant, obviously was only using me because he got violent immediatly after the marriage, and I was intoxicated. As for immigration fraud, I didn't know he was illegal, because he told me he wasn't, he was working too, with a liscence number, business cards, and all. After we got married he started demanding me to give him all sorts of paperwork on me, my birth certificate, last places I worked, income taxes, and sign a bunch of stuff, I haven't helped him with one thing. He also offered me 8000 dollars to stay with him, and pay off my car, and I told him I'm not for sale, and there is nothing he could do to make me stay with him. So, I'm not sure what I need to say, maybe all of it. But I'm not helping him, and I want out. He lied to me, and was using me, he has not gotten any type of reward out of marrying me,he has not got his liscence, permit, passport extended, or greencard. I really want this anulled, not a divorce.

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Where do you live that you have "local" courthouses, not county courthouses? In the USA, courthouses are not located in separate cities; there is one courthouse in each county.

Also, I've never heard of anyone receiving a letter of marriage certification. This might also be something that varies by location.

I don't know why you paid a paralegal service. A paralegal is not an attorney and is not authorized to offer legal services, so if you really did fork over $325 to a paralegal service, you just wasted your money.

Him becoming violent after the marriage is not proof of him "using" you to obtain citizenship. And again, that - as well as the allegation that he tried to "buy" you off - has no bearing on whether you can legally obtain an annulment.