I absolutely love my mother, and I won't pretend that I'm without fault, but it seems like everything I do just isn't good enough. I'm starting to think it's true. I'm not looking for pity, or something I can shove in her face and tell her to back off, but I would really like some help so that I can change myself in some ways so that she'll more often be pleased with me than not.
My mom has had a hard life - lived in a religious school because her parents couldn't take care of her (mother was an alcoholic and father lost his legs when he was a child). After her father died she didn't spend much time with her mother at all, who eventually became a very troubled alcoholic and died about 5 years ago. My mom was physically abused as a child, and when she was 16 moved out of the school and in with her boyfriend. Later on in life she met my dad, got pregnant and married him. My dad is a very traditional man and believes a woman's place is in the home, and if not, then at least in the kitchen. My mom had 5 children, and after each pregnancy came home quite soon and got back to cooking for us and cleaning our 5-floor home. She also worked that whole time and kept their hotel business running, made sure the buildings were respectable and clean, etc.
Before they decided to get divorced, my dad became troubled, and would constantly call my mom, fearing or suspecting she was having an affair (she ordered something from the store once and they called back, saying it was ready for pick-up, and my dad accused the poor guy who called of having affairs with my mom). Eventually he started taking pills, which were working, according to my mom, but at his and the doctor's insistence, eventually opted to have shock therapy. After this my dad became quite strange. I can't remember it but my mom and siblings have told me stories. My brother followed my dad to the entrance hall one night because my dad said he was going to walk their secretary to the door. My brother witnessed them kissing and this caused him to place a noise-activated recorder in my parents' bedroom.
After retrieving it, my brother showed it to my mom and she had proof of his infidelity. They then filed for divorce. During sessions with therapists, my dad was diagnosed as being paranoid-delusional with narcissistic tendencies.
Their divorce was very long and drawn out, where my dad seemed keen on drowning my mom in lawyer's fees, which she paid by giving them her jewelry. My dad wanted the business, the kids, the house, everything. He spoke with my uncle and told him that he would be happy seeing my mom living "in a trailer down by the river."
About 7 years ago they were divorced (after being separated for 3) and had to raise me and my little brother from around the age of 8 (I'm now 20). So she's a single mother who raised us mostly on child support, choosing not to work constantly (although she's had jobs throughout the time doing various things for, generally, long periods of time).
As siblings, our family is somewhat troubled. Myself and several others were sexually abused by our older half-brother, and the divorce seemed to rip our family to shreds. My oldest full-brother became involved in drugs and abused alcohol. My older and only sister did the same. Since then my aforementioned brother has been married, had two children, abused his wife twice, and after going through a treatment center is living in a kind of half-way house and attending AA meetings. My aforementioned sister had a period where she stopped drinking, smoking and doing drugs, had a job and joined a religion. Since that period she has decided to leave that religion and currently smokes, drinks, has no job, isn't attending any kind of schooling and spends the majority of her time online playing games and hooking up with boys.
My older brother (a year older than me) is an alcoholic in denial (and is mildly violent when drunk), and smokes but is attending post-secondary and has a job he hopes will help him get into politics. He's also extremely active in the community in terms of politics, etc.
I joined the same religion that my sister joined (my mom joined first, then little brother, myself, my sister, oldest full-brother and his wife) but am currently the only one active in it. I don't smoke, drink, abuse drugs, or anything like that - contrary, I'm in post-secondary, read my scriptures and pray every night, and am quite keen on serving a mission for my church and then after in Ecuador or some place similar to it, to help educate children and build schools.
My little brother acts out a lot, and we don't have a very good relationship (in fact, he's probably the closest to my aunt, who only seems to favor him so much because she doesn't know him or visit that often, so said my cousin (aunt's son). He has recently "come out" about being gay, smokes, drinks and does drugs. He's dating a younger boy who's in foster care (the first time this boy visited my mom's house he lied about his age and where he was from - he had actually run away from his foster home and the police showed up at my house at 4AM to get him). My brother spends most of his time online, either playing games or looking at pornography, and his favorite nickname for me is a cuss word.

I only included all that so that those willing to stick this one out to help me have some background information, something to my inquiry in context.

To my mom, then.
I am by no means perfect. I have a tendency to bring home cats, despite the fact that she's allergic (I had 3, and then after learning about her allergy, later brought home another one - although it typically lives at my dad's house and visits with me during the weekend). I don't do dishes often because I have severe eczema on my hands. This may seem like a justification, but after I do do the dishes it's difficult for me to hold a pen, so that might be saying something.
I'm in post-secondary but right now I don't have a job, despite the fact that I owe her around $1000, plus owing about $1400 in student loans, and owing my dad around $2500-3000. This debt was all incurred on a study abroad during the summer with my post-secondary institution.

Now, as to why I feel like what I do is never good enough...
My mom is a very unemotional woman. In fact, the only time I've ever seen her cry was when I drew her a picture of her granddaughter and had it framed (she loves that little girl with every fiber of her being - I also happen to be a semi-talented artist, so the rendition was nearly true to form), and gave it to her on her birthday.
Her house in a perpetual mess. I occasionally, about once every two weeks, will do a complete cleanup of her main sitting room and kitchen (which constitutes the bulk of the mess, as they're connected), and each time I do it I'll very rarely hear, "Thank you," or even an acknowledgment of it being cleaner.
Instead of that I get complaints of the litter box not being clean (I clean it every weekend since that's when I visit - I'm not the only one with cats, my little brother has one that he pays no attention to, but he's not cleaned it in ages/I'd be comfortable with saying years), the counters not being clean, the turtle tank being dirty, etc, etc.
It isn't so much that she looks at me and says, "go clean such-and-such," but that she insists that "Nobody put the garbage out," or "I was waiting how long it would take for someone to vacuum," or "Somebody didn't put the leftovers away."

I've had yelling matches with her about how I don't feel like I can ever please her, and from them I only remember her telling me that I've clearly not done my best to try. She seems also to think it's a waste of time and money to spend years in college and university, and would rather I be working (since she was 16 and had had a few jobs and had already moved out). I sincerely want to feel like she loves me, and not just because I've cleaned the dishes, or folded and put her laundry away. At the same time, I don't want to live her life, but I want to have my own dreams (which I do) and live them out (which I'm attempting).

Hopefully someone out there has spent the time to read all of this post, or even just part of it, and is willing to tell me something, anything that can be done. Thank you in advance.

I think you should do nothing to change and just be you. My heart goes out to you for all you have gone through in your life, and still managed to keep yourself together. The only one now, you must please is you.. You don't need to let anyone put you down, and especially your mother. Concentrating on finding a job to keep you busy and get out with friends and make a new life. The only person you have to please is you. Your mom has issues from her past and she is putting them on you. Don't allow that. Sounds too me you will never able to please her, and believe me, that isn't your fault. Stay strong... and remember focus on you.

Don't take what she says personally. She has had a hard life, and she has to push you, so you won't have the life she did. Its understandable, and from what you have written, it couldn't have been easy for her.

Doesn't sound like she has had a lot of love either, and that's the only way you can show love, is to be loved. So don't hold her words, or actions against her, she just may not be capable of giving you what you want, but that shouldn't stop you from understanding that she tries to give you what you need, according to what she understand, right, or wrong as it maybe.

You'll be doing your own thang soon enough, just be patient, show love, and keep it moving. You don't have to argue with her at all, why? You're going to do your thing anyway aren't you??

Talaniman Rule- Love 'em while you can, because it will be to late when they are gone.