I am almost 18 and my girlfriend is 15 but will be turning 16 in the same year as I turn 18. We are a long distance relationship, meaning she lives in another country over the sea, and I live in canada (ontario). In her country the law is simple if she has sex when she is unmarried she has to leave the country, or go to jail (muslim country) so we came up with a plan. When we meet in about 6 or 7 months we plan to get her pregnant so that she has to leave the country, now since I will never let my baby not grow up without his daddy she would have to come here, is it legal for us to have a child?

p.s she would end up being 16 when she actually gives birth. And don't worry I would keep her in school and make sure life is super easy for her, I have a really good friend who would live with us to help with everything

Depending on the Country (and State) involved you could be arrested for statutory rape and she could be stoned to death by her father/brothers.

What is the purpose of getting her pregnant and why do you think she can get a visa?

I assume because you are going to make life "super easy" for her that you are gainfully employed, have your own apartment and transportation? (I have no idea what purpose the really good friend intends to serve.)

That is of course if her family does not have you killed for destroying her innocence.

Assuming also her parents don't kill her also first. ( not uncommon in some areas)

Also who is going to get her a passport, a visa, and have the money to sponsor her into your nation?

Thank you for your help, I needed to know there was other things I had to look up...
But yes her parents would be absolutely pissed, hate both of us...
But this would be the only way we can be together which is the whole purpose.
And canada does it not have a easy way for people to immigrate here?
How do I look up the steps of doing this?

Of all the hare-brained half-a$$ed schemes! There are so many things wrong with your idiotic scheme I'm not sure where to begin.

1) You can have intercourse with her avery day for a month and there is no guarnatee she will get pregnant.
2) As a teenager you will be risking her health and the health of the baby by getting her pregnant.
3) How do you think you are going to get a 15 year old muslim girl alone to have sex with her. If you are caught you could be looking at serious jail time.
4) Where did you get the idea she would just be thrown out of the country? She could be stoned or put to death.
5) How do you expect to support her? What type of job do you expect to get at 18?
6) You said "when we meet". This implies you haven't even met yet. Did it ever occur to you that she might just be using you to get out of the country? Have you discussed the assinine scheme with her? How long has this relationship been going on?

And those are just the things that come immediately to mind. Immigration issues also need to be dealt with and others that don't come to mind right now.

My advice... wait until she becomes 18 and can travel. You can even pay for her to visit you. At that point you can decide if you wish to get married. But forget this absolutely stupid idea.

Haha this is funny.

Do you know how much paperwork it takes for her to come here? A baby won't help.

You need a job, a steady one. A letter from your boss saying how long you worked there, how much you make... etc.
You need around $5000 to do the immigration papers, pay the lawyer & government taxes
You need HER parental consent [even if she HAS a baby that won't help]
You can't sponsor her as common-law because well you've never lived with her.
You'd have to get married--once again get parental consent.

---and don't think this is some sort of check list you actually have to WAIT to be APPROVED as a sponsor! THEN she has to go through background checks, fingerprinted, do medical tests...

The whole process can take from 6 months to several years!


It is NOT that easy. I know. I've been through it.

Don't be silly boy. I'm in Ontario too and there are plenty of good and great girls here. Please don't be a dut dut and impregnate this girl in a country where she could be JAILED for having premarital sex.

Just when I thought I saw it all...

She isn't muslim... I said she lived in a muslim country, her dad was contracted there
And I know it is a stupid idea, and calling people names is not a very good thing to do,
I am a hopeless romance, but I have found out what I needed to find out
I will take care of the rest thank you all for your suggestions and opinions

First, who called anyone names? I referred only to this ridiculous scheme of yours, not you personally.

What do you think you have found out? Has it been that you need to abandon this idiocy? If so, then you did learn. If you are still thinking of going ahead with it, then maybe you deserve the names I called your scheme.

So now you are saying her father is doing contract work in that country. OK, so maybe they terminate his contract and send the whole family home. So where do you get the idea the father won't prosecute you for statutory rape? Where do you get the idea the parents will let her go?

You only think you are a "hopeless romantic", but all you are is an immature teen who is clueless about the real world.

Chill mann hah twas just an idea
I've got many other "schemes" to be able to be with her
This was just one idea -.-
And I would not say clueless, just learning :D
But immature I would say not... which by the way is name calling right there

You want to be with her?

Do you have a job?
Do you have your own place?
Do you own your own vehicle?
Do you pay for your own bills?

If you:
-still live with mom and dad
-still ask them for money when you go out
-still ask for a ride to the mall

Then I highly doubt you are able to "be with her". She lives way far away and you're here. Long distance relationships are hard and usually you have had to be with the person BEFORE the whole long distance thing happened.

Like I said before stick to where you are- there are nice girls in Ontario!

How does planning to impregnate a teenage girl and put her life at risk because you're a "hopeless romantic" make you mature? You've refused to tell us how you plan to come up with money to even get her over there once she is of age. I'd love to hear your other schemes. And I'm being serious. Not because me or anyone else wants to make fun of you. But truly, if you had gone through with the plan you posted here, and she had become pregnant, you could ave truly gotten her killed. I sincerely hope that the rest of your plans are not as foolish and dangerous.

No, no local chicks I live in the country
And you don't control who you fall for
And I know long distance relationships are hard
But I want to be with her, I have never been able to be the kind of guy I am
With my friends with a girlfriend, but I am able to be with her

I will have the money of course, and
I would go through the plan if there was a chance of
Hurting her or not being able to be with my baby
The whole reason I asked the question was to find out the answer
To find out if there was a way to do this...
I do have a job I have worked for the past 2 and a half years
And by the time she came here I would be out of school and I would be working full time during nights to make extra money and the good friend I mentioned before would be living with us to baby sit and to chip in on living expenses but you people want to hear the plan I will tell you

We plan to meet up in April during her break in school, see if we have chemistry and stuff then we leave each other again
And then meet up again in may which would be when we would "try" for the kid this way she would be able to finish her school year before any signs of the baby come through, she would then tell her parents what happened, of course claiming it was an accident (and I know still they will hate both of us, especially me) but then she would come here in July probably, but now I know there is more things I need to look up... and the chances of this "scheme" was actually happening was always slim, but I like to know all my options before choosing one

And I do not ask my parents for anything
I have my own license, my own car,
I pay my own bills, insurance, all of it

Man oh man is reality going to bite you in the a s s !

One last thing, I would say I am mature because have I not asked about it first
And researched it?
Now I will present it to my girlfriend and we will decide from there
What is out best course of action

So I did the mature thing asked for help (was shown quite a bit of hostility for this)
And didn't just bang her get her pregnant and caused a whole bunch of then
So there you go... this topic is done... no one else needs to comment further

Yes, your maturity (or lack thereof) certainly is shining through, particularly in your plan not to just "bang" her and get her pregnant. This is the woman you love, right? Wonder how you refer to women you don't love?

Is she aware that you are planning to be with her partially because there are no other girls/women where you live?

I also think any relationship which starts with a lie - you intend to lie to her parents about the pregnancy - is not going to go well. You are, in fact, encouraging this girl/woman you allegedly love to lie to her parents. Yes, they'll hate you - and they'll have good reason.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by bezlebob

one last thing, i would say i am mature because have i not asked about it first and researched it??
now i will present it to my girlfriend and we will decide from there
what is out best course of action

so i did the mature thing asked for help (was shown quite a bit of hostility for this) and didnt just go ahead and bang her get her pregnant and caused a whole bunch of then so there you go... this topic is done... no one else needs to comment further

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Quote:

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Originally Posted by bezlebob

chill mann hah twas just an idea
i've got many other "schemes" to be able to be with her
this was just one idea -.-
and i would not say clueless, just learning
but immature i would say not... which by the way is name calling right there

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No, Asking about it and researching was the right thing to do, but your reaction to the responses you got is what shows your immaturity. Even thinking of this scheme in the first place indicates immaturity. What you were proposing is an illegal and exploitative act. That's not the actions of a mature person. That you are still insisting on proposing this lame scheme is yet another sign of immaturity.

And telling someone they are immature when they act that way is not name calling. I'll also point out that you made a false accusation of name calling before that post.

Finally, you do not get to dictate when the thread is done or whether people can respond. As long as they don't violate the rules of this site anyone can respond.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by bezlebob

no, no local chicks i live in the country
and you dont control who you fall for
and i know long distance relationships are hard
but i want to be with her, i have never been able to be the kind of guy i am
with my friends with a girlfriend, but i am able to be with her

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Long distance relationships are not just hard, they are almost impossible. You are risking jail and her health for a relationship you can't be sure of. I asked how long this relationship has existed and you did not respond.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by bezlebob

i will have the money of course, and
i would go through the plan if there was a chance of
hurting her or not being able to be with my baby
the whole reason i asked the question was to find out the answer
to find out if there was a way to do this...
i do have a job i have worked for the past 2 and a half years
and by the time she came here i would be out of school and i would be working full time during nights to make extra money and the good friend i mentioned before would be living with us to baby sit and to chip in on living expenses but you people want to hear the plan i will tell you

we plan to meet up in april during her break in school, see if we have chemistry and stuff then we leave each other again
and then meet up again in may which would be when we would "try" for the kid this way she would be able to finish her school year before any signs of the baby come through, she would then tell her parents what happened, of course claiming it was an accident (and i know still they will hate both of us, especially me) but then she would come here in july probably, but now i know there is more things i need to look up... and the chances of this "scheme" was actually happening was always slim, but i like to know all my options before choosing one

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See this is what I mean. Despite a unanimous reaction against this scheme, despite severe warnings that you could wind up in jail and she could have serious health risks, despite the fact that you really are clueless (yes I say it again, because you really don't seem to get what is really involved with having a child), despite the fact that you have never met this girl in person, you are still willing to discuss this scheme with her and you haven't yet rejected it as untenable and idiotic. Just one example you are prepared for her parents to hate you and her. But you are not prepared for them to put you in jail, which is a much more likely scenario.

The only mature action would have been not to have hatched this scheme in the first place or at least drop it when you found out how ridiculous it was.