Okie I don't know where to start, it's sort of complicated but not entirely... I really hope I can get some good advice! Thanks in advance!
So I met this guy in my drivers ed whom I thought was smart, charming and attractive, experienced, confident. I also thought he would be a jerk and probably never interested in me. He thought I would be a jerk too ironicaly, but we start talking and continue talking after drivers ed is over. Now, when I first meet him he seems like this sort of spoiled guy who drives this nice car, been to a lot of places etc. Tried different stuff. So I was like okie, cool... While we were in class he happens to turn 20 that weekend. So my first thought, why is he 20 and in drivers ed? Well he says he was renewing his license. Believeable... he also says he dropped out of high school but didn't really talk much about whether he continued afterwards or not, just he was supposed to graduate in '08. Fine. He also went to my school, middle and high school. He gets drunk but its no big deal cause he's still cool. Just likes to party. He said he used to smoke but is trying to quit and I think I believe him because he doesn't seem like it. He doesn't smell like it. But he says ciggs are as far as he would go. But he's like drinking, well some habits die hard. He pretty funny and seems really sweet. So he's like now that class is over we should hang out and stuff. Class has been over for 2 weeks now. And he's like we NEED to hang out in aplayful way but he means it. This is about to be the third week. We start talking, just kostly texting and stuff. He starts flirting and I do too, I try not to fall for this guy because he seems like someone who's been there and done that, but he seems as if he is trying to be honest with everything I feel like he likes me too, he is obv flirting, but I don't know if that means anything. He's like lets hang out this weekend. He seems so sweet, dedicated, becoming responsible, he likes to party but he likes to chill more than that. He gets along with most everybody, like he's the type that is like everyone's best friend. I tell my friends about him and they instantly recognize him. They're like is it so and so? My friends and I are in the same grade. I went to school with them since middle school. The type of person I am is, fairly good grades, school is important, I wouldn't dare do anything stupid . Respect parents, asian, he's white. So my friends tell me that he was in their class in middle school and I'm like than I should know him too. Well they tell me he hangs out with the wrong crowd, a "dumbass", has been held back like so many times. He was 16 and in 8th grade, a punk, with a mohawk, said he looked dumb in it, a typical druggie. I told them he wanted to be a cop, and they laughed and said yea he's probably going to confiscate the crak and put it in his basement. They asked if he was in college and I said no, he wanted to be a certain age for this police Academy, and they said "duh, of course he's not in college, how could we even ask". And laughed. I thought of that too. We concluded he never graduated, maybe GED, and he probably had his license revoked. They said " we don't really know this guy extremly well, maybe he has changed it has been 3 years afterall, but I wouldn't trust him if I were you, he doesn't have a good record or history and idk how he is with girls. He's 20 at the peak of his sexuality, just be careful" Well all this made me think and everything how I felt for him kind of got shattered. I'm 17. But he seemed to have changed from the time they knew him. He seems a lot more responsible, he changed his look, more mature and presentable. But you never know... I was talking to my guy friend and he wasn't too sure about all this either. He says I feel like he's going to use you, and that it doesn't look good, as in like him being 20 and me being 17 because its as if 'why can't he get people his own age'... like makes him look bad. He says like 3 yrs is not bad but it makes him look iffy. That made me think too. My friends are all the responsible, mature, level headed, know where they are going in life type of people. So they don't really like where this is headed. I don't want to be shallow and he seems like he is trying to be honest with me and we connect and I have feelings for him and stuff, but I'm not sure if I should continue. Should I? He has been texting me every night but not in the morning. He didn't text me last weekend, he was away, stuff he says seems to be genuine about his day and he doesn't make it intersting or spice it up, just tells it like it is. Yesterday I was so out of it thinking all about what people where saying so he texts me yesterday a lot more flirty and I'm trying to be nice but I'm so doubtful and he doesn't text me today I guess he wants me to text him to see if I am interested but He knows I like him and all. That day after what my guy friend said he said a line that made it worse. While I was talking to him that night he goes I like to make fun of myself like "No one wants to date a retard like me" and he was purely joking. But it dawned on me. Like than why should I? It made me feel like last resort and cheap. But I'm sure he was kidding. Because a lot of people seem to like him. All the more reson why he might be playing around with me. But it really doesn't seem like that. I asked him if he really thought that and he said I'm not book smart but I know a lot of things and stuff that matter I guess. He does seem like an experienced person and all and he seems smart when I met him as I mentioned above but just not book smart. I asked him if he ever wanted to start life over again and he said no, because it makes me the awsome person I am today in a joking way. So I was like hmmm. He seems excited to hang out with me this weekend. Cept I told him my friends might come because my parents don't want me hanging out with him alone and there not big on me dating. So he's like sure that's fine. I really want to hang out with him, just cause he seems fun and I want to get to know him myself in a safe way. He hasn't texted me yet so I don't know about Saturday now although I'm sure he still wants to. I'm scaredd but I don't want to judge. Should I continue this? Like check it out? Should I text him? Or just let this whole thing blow over and not get into it? Should I say no? Should I still hang out with him? What do you guys think? Anything else you want to know to make it more helpful to judge?
Also the thing is I have more guy friends than girls and I need girls to come with me so I can hang with him on Saturday because of my parents. What should I do? A lot of my girl friends are busy. Should I postpone it? Idk if that would make it seem that I'm not interested and annoy him and have him go away. Because were so differet but kind of the same. I like him but I'm iffy to continue. I'm also so doubtful if I would ever fit in. Because if it was just him alone we get along well but I don't know with all his friends and lifestyle and culture. Cause my parents are cultural. He's also close with his family, seems like a sweet person. Should I ust stay friends? How should I go about this? And how to make Saturday happen? And text him? That was a lot! SOOO SORRRYYYYYYY! Just I was thinking about everything while I was writing! Hope you can help :( :confused::confused: thanks!
P.S. I don't want it ending up where he hates me and I loose him as a friend either :(
