Ask Me Help Desk - Family hates that I'm bleaching

Family hates that I'm bleaching

My mom knew I started bleaching in January and wasn't too happy about it. She told me to stop during the summer because I was supposedly too fair.. I started bleaching again in October and I have lightened about 4 shades. I am very happy with my results although my face (especially my chin area) is really red from the retina and my skin still has a lot of acne scars that I am still trying to get rid of. My dad asked me if I was bleaching today and I didn't say anything. He told me to stop! I was so embarrassed that my own father knew.. I am so addicted to bleaching that I don't want to stop. I am happy with the skin color I have now, but I have a lot of acne scars so I feel like I have to keep lightening some more before I maintain. My boyfriend wants me to meet his family and I am so scared that his aunts and sisters will be able to tell that I am bleaching.. omg if they tell him I am I will be so embarrassed. I feel like now I cannot even be proud or enjoy my results because I am so paranoid about everybody looking at me and knowing I am bleaching and talking about me behind my back. I took my Facebook down in Jan when I started bleaching so that people wouldn't compare my previous pics to how I look now. I am so scared about that the rest of my family or my parents will think or if they'll even notice. I am even paranoid about inviting my boyfriend over to my house because I look much darker in my younger pics.. I am so self conscious and I hate it. For some reason I was hoping I would bleach and no one would suspect. What do I do? How are you guys dealing with it in your lives?

I know how you feel.

I am going to star lightning my skin soon. And Everyone in my school knows I love Michael Jackson and if they notice me getting lighter then they will say I'm sick and trying to be like Michael.

But in reality, I don't want to be like Michael. Michael just gave me some good ideas on how I can improve my looks.

And my family knows I'm bleaching as well. I really don't care what they think.

I totally understand how you feel. Especially about taking the Facebook down thing. I just ended up only putting a few pictures up on Facebook where I'm one consistent shade, and then I make it so no one can see the pictures I'm tagged with. And do you wear make up? Because if you do. You can blend the make up into your neck and then wear long sleeves when you meet your boyfriends family! And I'm so lucky my mother bleaches. So my immediate family doesn't really look at me funny when I do. Lol. It's not a big deal at all in my house THANK GOD. But as far as extended family goes and all that stuff. Yeah. I wouldn't know how to deal with the questions. I'm sure they all know. I went from a dark dark brown to a medium brown caramel. Whatever. And yessss. I get paranoid about bringing friends over to my house. Because they look at my baby pictures. And they say things like "wow. You were really dark when you were a baby.. . [insert awkward silence here]" Omg. It's so hard to get around. Especially when you're around people that are jealous of it. What race are you if you don't mind me asking? I find that African Americans find it the most taboo. As opposed to Africans, Asians, and Islanders, etc.

Yeah, I feel you hon, I think my fam would have a cow if they knew.. I think I have spanned a lot of skin tones in my life just naturally, so they really aren't paying too much attention now.. but man, I wonder I they will notice later when I get to my goal.. I have no idea what to do.. for my face book, I just keep pics of me at varying shades, so at least I can blame some of my lightening on the winter... LOL... I guess when summer rolls back around.. I'm out of luck..

Quote:

Originally Posted by BrownDeceit

I totally understand how you feel. Especially about taking the facebook down thing. I just ended up only putting a few pictures up on facebook where I'm one consistent shade, and then I make it so no one can see the pictures I'm tagged with. And do you wear make up? Because if you do. You can blend the make up into your neck and then wear long sleeves when you meet your boyfriends family! And I'm so lucky my mother bleaches. So my immediate family doesn't really look at me funny when I do. Lol. It's not a big deal at all in my house THANK GOD. But as far as extended family goes and all that stuff. Yeah. I wouldn't know how to deal with the questions. I'm sure they all know. I went from a dark dark brown to a medium brown caramel. Whatever. And yessss. I get paranoid about bringing friends over to my house. Because they look at my baby pictures. And they say things like "wow. you were really dark when you were a baby............ ...... [insert awkward silence here]" Omg. It's so hard to get around. Especially when you're around people that are jealous of it. What race are you if you don't mind me asking? I find that African Americans find it the most taboo. As opposed to Africans, Asians, and Islanders, etc.

I do wear makeup but I find it hard to find a foundation shade that matches my skin tone.. some are either too dark or light. Yea I'll try to cover up when I meet my bf's family. I have been prolonging it so much.. I always have an excuse as to why I can't meet them.lol I am thinking about putting my Facebook back up but I am so paranoid since a lot of my friends who I saw back home in Africa last winter break saw me before I started bleaching and scared they will make a comment like omg how did you get so much lighter?lol. I have to anyway since my boyfriend keeps asking how come you don't have a Facebook? Finds it weird. My mom is fair. Her whole family is. They aren't really against me bleaching but they just wanted me to go down a shade. My mom feels like I am going too far and says if anybody asks, I should say she is against it. I am west African. From Cameroon. I know a lot of Africans bleach but a lot of them like to pretend like they don't and talk about others who do. I was so shocked to find out that my best friend's mom was bleaching her since she was a kid. My mom told me. I always thought she was light skinned.lol.. people will never tell they are. So even though I know a lot of people around me bleach, it still makes me feel self conscious because none of them admit to it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Boricua1

yeah, I feel you hon, I think my fam would have a cow if they knew.. I think I have spanned alot of skin tones in my life just naturally, so they really aren't paying too much attention now.. but man, I wonder i they will notice later when I get to my goal.. I have no idea what to do.. for my face book, I just keep pics of me at varying shades, so at least I can blame some of my lightening on the winter... LOL... I guess when summer rolls back around.. I'm outta luck..

Hahaha that's what I tell my boyfriend lol.. when he first met me in may I was so light... stopped bleaching in the summer and got back darker.. I am bleaching again now so when he asks, I just say oh it's the winter and I also say I am doing chemical peels.lol

Quote:

Originally Posted by KB50MJ

I know how you feel.

I am going to star lightning my skin soon. And Everyone in my school knows I love Michael Jackson and if they notice me getting lighter then they will say I'm sick and trying to be like Michael.

But in reality, I don't want to be like Michael. Michael just gave me some good ideas on how I can improve my looks.

And my family knows I'm bleaching as well. I really don't care what they think.

What is your skin color now if you don't mind me asking and what is your goal?

Hey sagluva, may I ask what you are using?

Quote:

Originally Posted by sagluva

wut is ur skin color now if u dont mind me asking and wut is ur goal?

MY skin color is this now.

http://hphotos-snc1.fbcdn.net/hs203...._2483512_n.jpg

And I'm trying to get to this:
http://mjjgallery.free.fr/bad/shortfilms/sd/001.jpg

http://mjjgallery.free.fr/bad/shortfilms/sd/005.jpg

Hmmmm. If I were you I would just maintain. That other color is leaning a bit on the unnatural side... Your current color is beautiful. And you're very good looking. Well. From the side view I can see of you at least. Lol.

Quote:

Originally Posted by BrownDeceit

Hmmmm. If I were you I would just maintain. That other color is leaning a bit on the unnatural side.... Your current color is beautiful. And you're very good looking. Well. From the side view I can see of you at least. Lol.

Thank you. :)

But you really think the MJ color in those pics are unnatural? How so?

Well one. It's obvious it's unnatural because it's VERY obvious he has make up caked on. And two. He has no type of color to him. That's when he really started to lose his color. He looks pale. Not light skinned in the ones where I said he looks unnatural.

Quote:

Originally Posted by BrownDeceit

Well one. It's obvious it's unnatural because it's VERY obvious he has make up caked on. And two. He has no type of color to him. That's when he really started to lose his color. He looks pale. Not light skinned in the ones where I said he looks unnatural.

Oh. I got you. Thanks.

Like I said. Your color now is light skinned and I like it. BUT you're not doing this for me. This is for you. So always please yourself first because at the end of the day, you have to live with you. Not me. So who cares what people say? But that was just my two cents.

Quote:

Originally Posted by BrownDeceit

Like I said. Your color now is light skinned and I like it. BUT you're not doing this for me. This is for you. So always please yourself first because at the end of the day, you have to live with you. Not me. So who cares what people say? But that was just my two cents.

Well I am with brown on this one, who cares indeed, my mother @ FIRST HATED the idea of me bleaching. She soon got use to it when my sister started to bleach, then my aunt started, well I got them into it. But my mom who is light skinned to begin with would not conform.

Live your life and stop worrying about what other think or say. MO your not hurting anyone and if it makes you feel good to bleach then you should bleach.

I say do what makes you happy... I have friends who haven't seen me in years and when they do see me they give me that weird look and say" you look different/lighter" its awkward at times embarrassing,but I don't care.. I love how I am now.. I haven't been back home in my country for a while I am leaving tomorrow, and not only am I scared about how my family and friends are going to react to my light skin now.. I am praying I don't get dark.. im going to make sure I stay out of the sun..

Long story short, do what makes you happy.. tell will talk but WHO CARES!

I like subtle changes so it wouldn't look too unnatural. I want to get 2-3 shades lighter. I remember a few years ago my aunt was having a baby shower and as soon as I gave her my gift she shouts, "your bleaching" I was so angry but I kept it in. Gee what a way to draw unwanted attention to me.

Omg. She shouted that in front of everyone? I would have been SO Embarrassed! Ugh.

Yeah in front of everyone. She likes to get a rise out of people. No tact whatsoever

Interesting conversation, I caught the same friend who accused me of bleaching, using the same skin lightener I used.. hmmm talk about hypocrisy