Ask Me Help Desk - Older relationship

Older relationship

So I have been getting really involved with this guy who is 10 years older than me. He is 31 almost 32 and I just turned 21 in August. And the only thing we pretty much have in common is the music we listen to and GO TO CONCERTS AND DRINK. IS IT OK TO PURSUE THIS EVEN THOUGH WE HAVE NOTHING ELSE IN COMMON??

I don't think age is a big deal, but you lack of common traits might be. I always wonder about people who live to drink. It's like that's all they have. If that is all you want from somebody than I guess you should stay with him. If you want more, start seeking out more.

Quote:

Originally Posted by MJ6216

so i have been getting really involved with this guy who is 10 years older than me. he is 31 almost 32 and i just turned 21 in august. and the only thing we pretty much have in common is the music we listen to and GO TO CONCERTS AND DRINK. IS IT OK TO PURSUE THIS EVEN THOUGH WE HAVE NOTHING ELSE IN COMMON???

I don't think it is nothing wrong woth dating someone older than you. Most ladys know what they want around that age and most gentlemen know what they want around their 30's anyway. So you mite as well that someone older and mature. Older men can also spoil you! Trust me I know.

Quote:

Originally Posted by chuff

I don't think age is a big deal, but you lack of common traits might be. I always wonder about people who live to drink. It's like that's all they have. If that is all you want from somebody than I guess you should stay with him. If you want more, start seeking out more.

We don't live to drink... its just if we are at the bar or a concert yeah we will have some drinks... but we work during the week so we don't do it as much then

Quote:

Originally Posted by MJ6216

we dont live to drink...its just if we are at the bar or a concert yeah we will have some drinks...but we work during the week so we dont do it as much then

Well that's not a big deal.. but if all you have in common is music and drinking then maybe you should see someone else is all I was saying. If things are great then age isn't a big deal.

Quote:

Originally Posted by MJ6216

so i have been getting really involved with this guy who is 10 years older than me. he is 31 almost 32 and i just turned 21 in august. and the only thing we pretty much have in common is the music we listen to and GO TO CONCERTS AND DRINK. IS IT OK TO PURSUE THIS EVEN THOUGH WE HAVE NOTHING ELSE IN COMMON???

Hi Megan,

Is this the same guy you talked about in your previous thread who is married?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Geoffersonairplane

Hi Megan,

Is this the same guy you talked about in your previous thread who is married??

Good question but no its not...

O.K..

Then I agree with the other responses you have had.

But also, forget the married guy in your other thread and also the ex that keeps callintg you that you mentioned in your other thread.

And yes... nothing wrong with you dating an older man of this age because generally, the older we get, the more we have had a chance to understand what we want.

In time, you will learn what it is you want too!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Geoffersonairplane

O.K..

Then I agree with the other responses you have had.

But also, forget the married guy in your other thread and also the ex that keeps callintg you that you mentioned in your other thread.

And yes...nothing wrong with you dating an older man of this age because generally, the older we get, the more we have had a chance to understand what we want.

In time, you will learn what it is you want too!!

Its pretty funny I'm only 21 and I have such bad luck with guys huh? Haha

Don't mean to seem patronising in any way...

But... perhaps you are going for the wrong guys?

When you say bad luck, what kind of bad luck?

Are you referring to the married guy scenario?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Geoffersonairplane

Don't mean to seem patronising in any way...

But...perhaps you are going for the wrong guys??

When you say bad luck, what kind of bad luck??

Are you referring to the married guy scenario?

Yeah there was him and then the guy who robbed my house and then the guy who was way to into drugs, I know I am into the wrong type of guys but you know people like what they like. And for some reason I like the d0uche Bag$!! You know and no you are not sounding patronising I am asking cause I need advice!! And I thank you for giving me some!!

I think that is the age thing Megan, you are 20/21 and at that age, women don't know what they want, they are still exploring life and in a way, you need to experiment to know what it is you want from another person.

How do I know, firstly, I am 26 and I never knew what I wanted when I was your age from another person, in fact, I was exploring who I was, having fun, experiencing life. In a way, I guess I still am, just not in the same way.

I have also recently split up with my ex who I was engaged to who was 17 when I met her and now 20, so stayed in a relationship with someone who did not have the chance to experiment and date different people. Not to say that I was not the right one for her, but at 20, she felt like she was missing out on something that every 20 year old should do before they commit to just one person. I spent 3 years with her and I only just realise now after we split up what I should have realised when I first met her...

You live and learn!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Geoffersonairplane

I think that is the age thing Megan, you are 20/21 and at that age, women don't know what they want, they are still exploring life and in a way, you need to experiment to know what it is you want from another person.

How do I know, firstly, I am 26 and I never knew what I wanted when I was your age from another person, in fact, I was exploring who I was, having fun, experiencing life. In a way, I guess I still am, just not in the same way.

I have also recently split up with my ex who I was engaged to who was 17 when I met her and now 20, so stayed in a relationship with someone who did not have the chance to experiment and date different people. Not to say that I was not the right one for her, but at 20, she felt like she was missing out on something that every 20 year old should do before they commit to just one person. I spent 3 years with her and I only just realise now after we split up what I should have realised when I first met her...

You live and learn!!

This is true. But for only being 21 i have done a lot of things that normal 21 year olds haven't done or have never done. I mean i was engaged at 17 as well. And when i broke it off with him that's when i started living my life. Going to as many concerts as i can... trying new things... meeting new people who in the end all taught me something. I mean i know what i want in a guy and i know that i want someone to go to concerts with me and be able to hang out with me and my friends and be there for me physically and emotionally. And when i first meet these guys i didn't know that they were all going to be that type of person in the end. So... i don't know... but i do know what i want in a man.

Sometimes what you want is not what is right for you...

But you can't change what you want to suit what is right for you!

It's a tough ball game.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Geoffersonairplane

Sometimes what you want is not what is right for you...

But you can't change what you want to suit what is right for you!!

It's a tough ball game.

IT REALLY IS!!

I think it is the married guy.

Seriously - if this guy is married - stay away. This is the same story you wrote about.

The married guy CHEATED on his wife- he will cheat on you.

Ladies - you can NEVER trust a married guy who cheats. Never.

No trust in a relationship - there is no relationship.

You're just setting yourself up for MASSIVE heartache.

And what about the wife's feeling and if there are kids.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wildcat21

I think it is the married guy.

Seriously - if this guy is married - stay away. This is the same story you wrote about.

The married guy CHEATED on his wife- he will cheat on you.

Ladies - you can NEVER trust a married guy who cheats. Never.

No trust in a relationship - there is no relationship.

You're just setting yourself up for MASSIVE heartache.

and what about the wife's feeling and if ther are kids.

Actually no its not the married guy... the older guy is a completely a different guy and hes not married trust me...

Quote:

Originally Posted by MJ6216

its pretty funny im only 21 and i have such bad luck with guys huh?? haha

Two recent ex's and another one all lined up... forgive me Megan but maybe you should sloooooooow down a bit and consider what it is you ARE doing to attract the wrong type. Looking too available might be one of the things you do, too... or meeting men in places that aren't exactly conducive to meeting the right guys, iffen you know what I mean :rolleyes:

... just a few thoughts here.

Quote:

Originally Posted by valinors_sorrow

Two recent ex's and another one all lined up ... forgive me Megan but maybe you should sloooooooow down a bit and consider what it is you ARE doing to attract the wrong type. Looking too available might be one of the things you do, too.... or meeting men in places that aren't exactly conducive to meeting the right guys iffen ya know what I mean :rolleyes:

..... just a few thoughts here.
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I don't act like im to available. Especially because i hang out with all guys. And i mean im not meaning to meet these guys and have them like me... i can't help their feelings. I meet a lot of different people at concerts... i can't help it if im a nice person and talk to everyone!!

Too many man problems for you.

Time to forget men for a little while and work out why you become attracted to these wrong guys.

No men. Work on yourself.

Once you have don this and become a healthy person yourself, you will attract a healthy man and you won't have all this drama.

Good luck!