I've been having this problem with my ex- obsessing over what has been and what could be. We have completely different goals and ambitions and I'm actually the one that broke it off with him. I'm not OK with being with someone who doesn't seem to have any dreams and I know that I can't change people. I know that he is not a man that I want to be with but I still have this empty feeling in my stomach that I assume I have because I miss him. Why? Self esteem? Just missing cuddling in bed? Why do I miss him soooo much? I've had this problem with every ex I've had. I'm so much happier when I'm single. When I'm in a relationship I have no self confidence, I'm anxious all the time, I've lost balance. I just want to feel what my head is saying.

There is nothing harder to break than a well-established "habit"... and your BF is a habit that will take some time to get over.

That's a good sign, it means for the most part, you're not "trivial", that your heart is in play.

But an even better sign is that your heart is not in control of your life, your very smart brain is. Not everyone is able to balance smart and heart. Good for you!

You're going to keep having these occasional withdrawal pains, perfectly normal and to be expected. But as is also true of any addiction and the attempt to get it out of your life, it's going to hurt a bit until the habit breaks its hold on your spirit, too.

That, too, will come, and sooner than you think.

Stay strong, don't feed the feelings that come with additional thoughts and pinings, just let them come and go.

It sounds like a case of dependence. Anytime you're in a relationship, you've created a dependence on your significant other. Once you break up, there's an empty feeling. So you find ways to fill that void, such as through a rebound or wanting your ex back.

* What you need to do is learn to love yourself and learn to be independent. Learn to be single again.

Leaving the past in the past is a matter of disciplining your mind. These are thoughts and feelings that will appear (sometimes out of nowhere) throughout your entire life. While you are married, you will no doubt think about your ex's- you may even have some feelings for them in your future relationships. You have to learn how to let the past go. When you have a good time with someone or something- it is only natural to miss it when it's gone, especially if it was long-term or you were somehow attatched to it. Don't obsess over what was... you cannot change something that has already come and past. By fretting and stewing you're only hurting yourself.

You also need to overcome thoughts of "what could've happened?" or "what am I missing out on?" When you want to leave your boyfriend, a relationship won't work... The only thing that could've happened, is a post-poned break up.

Move onward, and upward... And discipline your mind so you aren't dwelling on the past. You like your single life, so bask in it, and take advantage of it. Hang out with your friends, and do things you like to do to get your mind off what is history.

You sound like my ex, hehehe...

You already knew in your gut.

Learn from this one & move forward.

Recognizing what's truly important to you. And how that may differ from others.

This thread help me allot.. make allot sense.. now I need to tell the brain to listen

You will benefit greatly by being single, and just enjoy doing your own thing, with no worries about answering to any one else.