I was with my exboyfriend for 2 years. We lived together and were seriously talking about marriage. I made a huge mistake and moved out. I was really stressed out and thought he was the cause. Now that I have moved out, I am miserable and want him back. He did not want to break up at first so we still spent a lot of time together after we initially broke up. After hanging out for a couple weeks, he was acting very distant. So, I asked him if he was moving on or was if he was still confused about things. With hesitation, he told me he was moving on. This crushed me! I contacted him about 5 days later and asked if he would come over to my place to talk. He was more than willing to talk. I told him all that I had realized about our relationship/break up and why things had ended up the way they did. I also provided a couple of suggestions on how we could make it again. While I was explaining all this to him, he started crying and gave me a big hug. He tols me he wasa very happy that I had told him what I had realized and that he was really proud of me. He gave me another big huge as he was leaving and told me that he would be in touch. Has he really moved on? Or is he just trying to think everything through? Why would he cry if he has already moved on? Im confused!

We really can't tell you what he's feeling.

It could be many things, but only he knows for sure.

You're only going to get the answer from one person, that's him.

Good luck.

He said he would be in touch. How long will it take for him to call?

Give him time to think things through. I don't think he has moved on, but you need to wait for him. He has said he will call, so wait for him to call and don't stress about when. These things take time to process- so be respectful, and give him all the time he needs. (however, if the time gets excessive- say, he hasn't made up his mind in a few weeks, then would be a good time to contact him, and ask him what's up.)

Nobody can tell you when or if he'll call,but as you have told him how you feel-and he has said he's moving on, the last thing you want to do is sit around and wait for a phonecall that may or may not happen.
Time to get busy and get your life back on track.

I just think you need to give him his space for now. Don't push the issue. You told him you made a mistake and missed him. It's totally up to him now to make the moves. I think he is confused now himself. One minute you think its his fault and you break up and then you miss him totally. Let the dust settle for now. Wait for him to call and take it from there. Good luck.

If he wants to contact you he will. You'll just have to wait it out and see. Meanwhile, don't make waiting for him the central focus of your life. He may or may not want to get back with you. Either way, he's certainly quite confused right now, as anyone else would be. He's the one who needs time right now, time to sort out his feelings and decide if he wants to take another chance with you or not.

You can't contact him at all.

You left him and because of that you've given him more to think about than you can even imagine. If I were him I would be seriously considering if I wanted to get back with someone who did what you did. And I definitely wouldn't want to be hounded by that person, that's for sure.

You may have owned up to it eventually, but it still reveals a lot about you that he probably shouldn't know. All you can do now is hope and wait that he calls you back. If he doesn't then there's nothing you can do. You've made your bed so you have to sleep in it.

It doesn't matter if he cried or that he hugged you or whatever. The ball is in his court and that is likely where it's going to stay for some time. Calling him will make things worse for you. You have to be willing to deal with the consequences of your actions.

How long do guys usually need to think about things like this? If I haven't heard from him in a couple weeks, should I assume he really has moved on and does not want to be with me?

All people are different and the amount of time varies on the person. I will say that most of the time when people have been hurt they need to take time to find it they can trust again. It is very possible that he hasn't "moved on" in the sense that you are thinking. However, he is trying to assess whether to invest his feelings in the relationship again. You know the old saying, if it is meant to be it will be. Let it be without giving him the impresssion that you are leaving him alone, Be honest and let him know what you want and that you are willing to allow him time to decide and you are there for him when or if he wants to be with you again. Allow him some time and if it doesn't happen then you must move on and establish a healthy time limit and boundary with him. Take the time off to find out what is going on with you and why you are stressed and depressed. Best wishes.

I have a question.

How many times are you going to keep posting the same question because you don't like the answer.

He'll call when he calls, not a minute sooner or a minute later.

If you want a psychic, go to a psychic board, we can't tell you something only he knows! :(

Sorry. I wasn't intentionally trying to post my question multiple times. This is my first time on this site and I was having computer issues when I was trying to post this. I was just an accident that my question was posted more than once.

The duplicates have been addressed, so now I will address your posts.

Leave him alone, and don't pester him to come back. If he wants to, after what he has been through, he will, but it has to be in his time, because that's what he wants.

It's a good time to figure yourself out, and why you make impulsive decisions that come back to bite you. Assume and presume nothing, just get the facts, and learn to express yourself honestly, and clearly.

Breaking up instead of talking things out, would make even the strongest guy apprehensive to take you back, so cross your fingers, and do your own thing, and enjoy it.

Wait until he contacts you, but until then, do your own thing and be prepared to move on in case he doesn't.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by ts5900

My boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me 5 days ago. I am trying the no contact theory. How long should I wait to contact him? I really miss him and want him back but do not want to seem needy. Any advice on how long I should wait?

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We already addressed multiple posting. You said you didn't know and you were sorry, then you did it again.

All info about your ex and you trying to contact him should remain on this thread.

Stop making new posts about the same topic!

If you continue to do this I will notify the mods. Can't follow the rules, don't play.

Threads merged again but for the last time.

My ex boyfriend of 2 1/2 years told me he was moving on about a month ago. I met with him after a week or a half after that and told him all that I had realized about our relationship and how I thought we could fix things. He started crying when I was telling him what I had thought about our relationship and that I wanted to get back together. When he left my house, he told me that he would be in contact. I haven't heard from him until today. He text me to tell me hi and Merry Christmas. He also told me that he hoped I had a great day. I did not expect to hear from him at all. I'm not sure what it means that he texted me. Did he text me because he misses me or is he just stringing me along?

Threads merged again but for the last time.

After 2.5 years, I think it is very hard to let go of someone, regardless of what the cause of the breakup was. You will both have formed an attachment to each other from th emere fact of having spent so much time together... (this is a different thing to love, but can exist alongside love). I think the reason he called because he his having the usual difficulty of letting go, and just misses you, your intimacy, relationship and conversations.

If you have decided to breakup (it sounds like his decision right?) then you both definitely neeed to have time apart to get over each other. From your brief post it sounds like this breakup is not somehing you wanted right? However, even if this is the case, your ex has told you that he wanted to break up with you. You have to respect this harsh fact.

Equally, if he has broken up with you, he has no right to call you if this relationhip is over. You will never be able to move on from this relationship and get over your feelings for him if he keeps making contact with you.

It sounds to me like you both need to say the things that you need to say to each other (this may or not have happened I don't know from your post), decide what is happening (relationship finished or not) and stick with it. If you do decide to break up then you need time apart. I personally think it often taks years to get over someone of you love them. During this time you need to have NO contact from him. You need to explain this to him. Even though it hurts (BADLY) this is the only way that you can get over him and move on. He needs to respect this need and leave you alone.

At times it may seem like you want to drift back together. You may miss him terribly, but it is NOT helpful to make contact. This will just prolong the agony and uncertainty. With time you will becaome more at ease and accepting of your singleness. You can then, with time start to meet pthers, and eventually may even think about dating again.

This is a healthy way to end the relationship and move on. Spend time with your friendas and famil;y and focus on doing 'you' things... Focus on yourself and self-undesrstanding. Breaking up is a very heard thing, but belivee me... ALL IS HEALED WITH TIME...

Alternatively (you need to give us more information), there may still be hope for your relationhip, I don't know. This is why you need to get clear about what is happening via a conversation SOON. This is esepceially necessary if you are confused or feel that you haven't said the thinsg you want to say to him.

Hope this is helpful,

Feel free to keep us informed, give more info... happy to help. Good luck and hang in there :-)

I have read your other post. It really sounds like you are confused about what is happening with him. It is not fair for him to not let you know what is happening like this. If he has left you then that must be for good. If he still wants a relationship with you then you need to work on things I still go with what I said above, even after reading your other post. FIND OUT WHAT IS HAPPENING AND GO WITH THAT. Ask him, get the answer, and get on with the rest of his life.

The only other thing is, that if he said he needed space, you must give this too him. I don't know exactly where you left off or what was said. But if he needed space then you must respect this. He can string you along for ever though either, so I would suggest that he needs to give you some idea of what is going through his mind.

Threads merged again but for the last time.
Leave him alone, and ignore his contacts, so you don't have to be confused, or strung along.