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Myself and my boy friend enjoy sex very much. He goes down on me and I also enjoys it till I come myself. My problem is that I don't like him licking me after my orgasm, which he is very much interested. He says it arouses him wildly. I like him to enter and ejaculate inside my vagina after my initial orgasm. This gives me multiple orgasms and maximum satisfaction.
I don't want to say no to him, but I feel little embarrassed.
Please help me.
Talk to him, and sometimes it is a matter of give and take various times.
Just tell him. Let him know that the area is very sensitive after you orgasm and that you'd feel more comfortable if he did something else.
If you can't talk about sex with your BF, who can you talk about it with?
Um... #1, you aren't married. Besides the possibilities of STD's there is pregnancy. Doesn't matter if you are on the pill or not. It won't stop an STD. and the pill only makes it LESS likely that you will become pregnant... its NOT 100% effective. Far enough from it to be a matter of concern to single people.
First, how old are you?Quote:
Originally Posted by tressy
Second, you're only thinkng of yourself, that's evident. You want multiple orgasms and maximum satisfaction. He's admitted that licking you arouses him.
Give and take. That's what a relationship is all about.
Talk to him about it.
Did you post this in the right thread? STD/pregnancy cautions can never be stated often enough or strongly enough but the o.p. is about oral sex.Quote:
Originally Posted by smoothy
Tressy, if it's a sensitivity issue, get him to wait a few minutes, maybe moving away from the vulva and getting back to it after the nerves have calmed a little. A second climax could change your world, so don't forbid it, just slow him down.
Yeah.. its the right thread... but odds are they are doing more than just the oral.
And Oral isn't a jet out of jail free card for ANY of the STD's.
I know that after I orgasm, the clitoris is very sensitive and almost unbearable to touch (not pain, can't really describe). I a gree that a bit of give and take is normal and good for a relationship (Father Chuck)... perhaps try waiting 30 seconds or so for the sensitivity to go down before he tries licking again. I don't think I could cope with the same thing either! Too sensitive! Bit then again, if it turns him on so much, try reaching a compromise.
Be upfront with him. Your "problem" isn't all that uncommon... once the big O hits from oral stim most lovers would push me away if I kept up with clitoral stim.
I think the pattern you like, oral to completion for you followed by intercourse, is a great way to go... thrilled that you know this. Glad he is willing to see that you are taken care of first.
You need to talk to him about what he is doing right. That he does a great job getting you to orgasm. That you really appreciate the attention and effort.
Next... what can you do to get him aroused without overstimulating you?
Personally, when I'm down on a lover I'm not fully in the moment. I'm ignoring and blocking my own desires to focus on her... building a bit of a mental wall to keep me focused. After bringing a lover to orgasm orally I prefer a little directed foreplay... I know... might seem silly to talk about foreplay after one partner has had sex to orgasm, but it isn't.
Its my turn to mentally be completely lost in the moment. So, while immediate penetration is possible, and feels great, id prefer a brief period of sensitization... where my lover stops and focuses on my needs for sensitization. A guy can be hard and still not completely in the moment.
So he finds oral mentally stimulating... what about 69 with you on top, with a slow approach? There's a real change that the angle will put him at a position where he can't easily stim your clitoris as easily, as he will be more toward the perineum. He seems to be an attentive lover, so tell him "soft and slow" or "gently suck here" at the labia, to get him to back off from you a bit... the combo of his doing what he wants... continuing oral stim while mentally released, and your oral stim preceding intercourse, might work.
69 has always been a great position for me to mentally get up to speed for a few reasons... it changes the angles... the man has incredible oral stim (I think the angle is better orally with the woman's tongue over the top), better access to the woman's breasts, immediate access to her lower back and arse, and oral on the woman... even if it isn't the oral shed need to hit orgasm. Personally, id take seveal other positions for oral if the intent is to get the woman off... but 69 to bring me to a mental and physical height is a good option. And hopefully if you tell him to kiss you lightly while you go down, he will listen.
Don't be afraid to tell him what you need. He isn't going to know instinctively.
Also, I find simply foreplay great in between oral to get her off and intercourse. A few minutes of laying side by side, her mouth on mine, her lips at my neck or teeth at my ears... can buy a little time to make sure I've torn down those temporary walls needed to get me to focus on her in a directed way.
Quote:
Originally Posted by sandalwood7
When patients come to you with this concern what is your medical advice? I realize you have posted personal advice.
Or is it the same?
Ask if you can do the same to him right after he climaxes. Guys are uaually very sensitive too afterwards, and maybe he will be able to understand how you feel about it.
What is the point of this?Quote:
Originally Posted by JudyKayTee
The point is that this is a Physician who is responding. I realize she is posting her personal experience here but there may be a medical explanation, something about recovering slowly from arousal, something along those lines. When a person is, in fact, licensed and a professional I certainly think it validates the advice.
On one post I disagreed with this person, quoting what my Physician told me, not realizing she herself is a Physician and there are differences of opinion in all professions.
JKT
But do you have an ANSWER for the OP's question?
Questioning a poster's post isn't an answer. Disagreements from past post are better left to PM's. Then again, I push people to the wall on sight... the irish in me... so I'm not one in any position to talk I guess. I like your posts big time, just don't get this one possible challenge. I mostly agree with the poster.
If I disagree with anything said it's that 30 sec, in my experience, won't make the clitoris much less sensitive.
And the honest truth is there is not one-fits-all answer for this situation. Most women are too sensitive for direct clitoral stim soon after orgasm. One lover had absolutely no problem with hard, direct clitoral stim before or after... but she was the exception.
Muddy - You said it all [said the girl with one too many olives in her mouth]
That is so sexy and so disgusting all at once. More sexy than not.
All right. My answer to the question is more of a response - I don't understand anyone who is having sex but is embarrassed to say, "I like this ..." or "I don't like that ..." or "Why don't we ..." to his/her partner. I agree it's a downer but if OP is embarrassed to discuss her likes and dislikes, what gives her pleasure and what does not, I have to wonder if there has been any discussion about protection from disease and/or pregnancy.
Very correctQuote:
Originally Posted by Altenweg
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