 |
Is this true, maybe not some random person, but maybe someone that there may be chemistry with, maybe starting as just sex, or hanging out together or something, and then if things progress into something else it'll help you get over your ex and be in a new relationship.
Anyone agree or disagree with my analysis?
Completely wrong. This is called a rebound and it hurts you and the new person. You don't heal properly and you are just trying to hide the pain.
I also think it is wrong to do. If you still think about your ex as much as I think you do, you won't be able to put 100% into the new person and will end up hurting them.Quote:
Originally Posted by paxe
I've never understood why getting over someone should include you lowering your guard, standards, morals, and personal beliefs. This is the sort of thing that actually makes things worse for you in the long run and can actually drag out the recovery.
Have you ever met someone that has jumped from one relationship to another and several years later they have no idea who they are anymore? This is what happens when you give yourself away, with no idea or care of who you are.
It works.
Only for that moment.
Then your alone again and having to deal with your feelings.
When you breakup the best way to get over it is to get over it. So go through the whole grieving process, the whole moving on and being alone thing is actually good for you.
Jumping in the sack just to forget that person has it's benefits but you'll still be hurt once they leave the bed.
I disagree, its like putting a band aid on a shotgun wound. Its just not enough.
Completely wrong, this often only makes it worst. You need to learn to be happy and feel good about yourself, by yourself. Only then can you get over anyone.
A very bad idea. It's disrespectful not only of the other person but also of yourself.
Been there and done that... talk about a mistake. I just try to forget the whole thing ever happened. Having the rebound guy after healing from such a HORRIBLE relationship was not a good idea. I was basically SLEEPING with someone to get my mind of someone else. Yikes... I don't know about you, but I don't want a high number and following that pattern is a sure way to become easy.
So you felt bad about yourself, but after the rebound was over did you feel over your ex?Quote:
Originally Posted by AmExp
I agree that just going out and trying to smash everything isn't a good idea, but I guess my question was more towards looking for a relationship which I guess ends up still being a rebound.
Don't go looking for a relationship,nor even date looking for a relationship until you're completely over the ex. And,believe me,you'll know when you're ready. Healing from a breakup takes time-patience and actively working to get whole again is what's required. Not quick fixes that makes you feel even worse.
The tricky thing about this idea is that it is sometimes true on some level. You might get over the other person. Or rather, you might get over your obsession with them. What's not stated is that it does absolutely nothing for you in terms of personal growth or well-being. And frequently, you end up jumping from one person to another and not learning from the experience, which usually leads to repeating patterns. Then one day you do it enough until you stop and wonder why in the world the same thing keeps happening over and over. Sometimes that is the turning point for us where we learn. But if we're interested in sparing ourselves lots of this, and in bettering ourselves in general, we might try taking the harder path and making space for ourselves to grow a bit before "getting under" someone else. From what I've seen, and in my own experience, this is when people start to have healthier relationships.
Hey, hope you got your answers here.
The ones I hope you already knew from your other post.
Its hard work getting over a breakup. But show some strength. Don't try & consider fixing things with a replacement.
What? Carry your baggage on before you heal. That's not fair to you or anyone else. May seem like an easy way out, but will compound things later.
Some people do this over & over and wonder why they are victims.
Yeah, date, have fun, have sex, have whatever as long as its positive.
But, be aware & together before you jump.
My ex is doing this now, her mind is everywhere, taking almost nude pics on myspace, wearing skimpy clothing, trying to program the rebound into something he isn't which is ME, trying to be friends with my friends by trying to get them on her side, saying little things to get my attention and a response out of me...
She is lost and I feel sorry for her...
As for me I'm losing weight, doing well with my other aspects in life and gaining a lot more friends, all without a rebound...
How did that feel? Nice?
Stop looking on myspace for her & fishing around. No longer your concern.
Add that to the other positive things you are doing. Jjblaze.
I already know not to look, I was speaking of the situation from a few weeks ago...
Cool.
I tried this approach, didn't work for me. My rebound was with someone that I dated 5 years ago, still a good friend, but there is a reason why it didn't work out the first time. The rebound sex just made me miss sex with the ex, ended up making me more confused. I think it's highly disrespectful (of all parties involved, including yourself) when an ex immediately gets together with someone else after a break up. I think you need to honor the other person and yourself by taking a breather and being alone for awhile. At least I waited 3 months after the breakup, whereas the ex couldn't wait 3 minutes to get together with his current GF. It was already in the works when we were together... NICE!
Completely wrong.. in that way,you're just hiding the pain that feel,
I agree but it may not be the same for everyone. I've found that making a conscious effort to meet someone else makes you realize that there are other people out there for you.. and one of them may actually be better than your ex
| All times are GMT -7. The time now is 10:11 AM. |