I have been widowed for almost 22 years and will be turning 55 this month. I am having a problem meeting a man who isn't a leach. I work retail and don't go to bars and wouldn't want to meet anyone from a bar anyway.
I am physically fit,healthy and look younger than I am. Do I have to wear a t-shirt that says single on it?

Have you considered joining a dating agency?

Or persueing other interests that involves lots of people.. a walking club,a hill walking club.

Also,let friends and family know you are single and ready to date.. you never know who they might know,that you might click with.

Have you tried an online dating site? Some are free.

Where do you think I met all the losers?

So many issues, first after 22 years of being a widow most people know you as someone who is not dating, so yes you almost have to wear a sign now.

As to online, dating online is like in person, you have to meet and talk to dozens to find one or two.

Also what sites are you using, Eharmany is a very good one for more professional people. As are often local dating sites.

You will find many merely wanting one night stands on a large group of them.

In the end be specific in your write ups.

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Originally Posted by pattyg2

Where do you think I met all the losers?

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Hmm yes, been there myself.

How about local sports clubs or activities?

The only thing I can really think off,is too get out and be active,enjoy your life,get involved in your community...

As you know I'm sure,a man is not the be all and end all,but I do understand it is nice to have the company of a man and a little romance.

I agree with Fr_Chuck, that you should let people know that you are single. If you want to meet a decent, respectable man, why don't you try attending a different church every Sunday, or joining a reading group, etc? Also, be careful, and use wisdom in who you choose to get emotionally invested in. Not every man is out to get you, but not every man is exactly dating material, so be cautious with who you date.

I can understand your fustration. I think that screening out the person will definitely alleviate some of your fustration.

Paid dating sites doesn't entirely screen out all the people you won't like, but it definitely does show a certain level of seriousness on behalf of the other person if they are willing to pay a monthly fee.

Furthermore, joining activities where people have the same interest as you is definitely a bonus. How about volunteering?

Do you have any friends that can introduce you to some people? Having your friends screen out the person can always help.

My friends and family all know I'm single. I guess they don't want to get blamed if it doesn't work. I wouldn't do that though and they know it.

I am 55 myself, and believe old school is best, and that's to meet people in social settings where you can interact without pressure, or expectations, and you can just have fun, and be yourself.

It also helps if your life is already balanced, and fulfilling to you, so you don't have to rush into anything that doesn't smell right, and not depend on any one person to make you happy, because your already happy with yourself, and your life.

Trust me, do those things for yourself, and you will attract like minded people who are happy with themselves, and you'll have something great to share.

Volunteering is good also for some social networking, of the human kind, and the rewards are to great to keep to yourself.

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Originally Posted by pattyg2

Where do you think I met all the losers?

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priceless. =)

well, most of the people I'm close to have come to me through daily "life events"... work, school, associations and groups, volunteer work... guess they call that networking. Whatever. The more I put myself into new circles, and sometimes that means stepping out of my routine or comfort zone, the more I have different "avenues" of meeting new friends...

I know there's nothing revolutionary in this... but I just find I have to work harder than id like to find those new "pockets" of people