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-   -   What is this guy doing (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=424484)

  • Dec 12, 2009, 02:50 PM
    das729
    What is this guy doing
    Okay so me and this guy were seeing each other and he left for ontario. We texted each other everyday. At the end of August I bought him a plane ticket to come back home because he didn't have a mastercard and said he would pay me back. I also had to buy a car rental and gas to drive him where he lives 3 hours away. Anyway we had sex and the next day just didn't seem to really like me. So I drove back home cause he said he wasn't ready for a serious relationship. Well we didn't really talk too much since then. On my birthday October 18th he was upset and we talked and then a week later text me and said he was really really upset so I listened. A week after that he text me and asked me out and wouldn't stop even though in my heart it was wrong. He text back in the morning and said sorry I was drunk. Then we never talked but in mid November asked what I was doing on the weekend and I said nothing but he never said anything back. Now last night I accidentally texted him when I was drunk and he texted me the whole night till I fell asleep. Then he called me today at one in the afternoon. I never answered cause I was scared too, so I text him and told him I was doing something and asked what he wanted and he said to talk. I never texted him back. Whenever he talks to me he always talks about us though. I don't get it, at first I thought he was just using me but then why call today? Does he still like me, what's going on?
  • Dec 12, 2009, 03:37 PM
    sully123

    Sounds too me, like he isn't dependable. Someone who is a relationship, puts more effort into it. It's more like a friend thing with benefits. I think I would look elsewhere. A boyfriend should be showering you and doing things for you. It's not for you, to buy him a plane ticket, he took advantage. I would move on, and find someone who can be there for you.
  • Dec 12, 2009, 04:36 PM
    JBeaucaire

    What's going on? Sounds like you are somewhat interesting to talk to... financially generous and not too difficult to get into bed.

    Nothing you've told us so far makes it seem like you two are on any kind of serious track. Not really. Regardless of your feelings, your actions and his are quite casual. I hope you see that.

    If you do continue to stay in contact with him, I expect you'll get one of two things:

    1) more casual texting, sex and expenses
    2) frustration

    Neither of those is attractive to me, but if they are to you (#1 might be acceptable to you... )... then go for it.

    If not, let it go. No big deal. I would consider this boy a 'not-too-expense-lesson-learned' and move on. No need to punish him for doing what comes natural... accepting the giving nature of someone else.
  • Dec 13, 2009, 06:24 AM
    talaniman

    Sorry to be harsh, but you let this guy really get what he wants, when he wants it, and you get nothing in return.

    Of course he likes you, your generous with your time, money, and body. What more could he need from you? Not to healthy for you, and you'll never get paid back that way.

    Sorry, you need to leave him alone, or sue him in small claims court. Maybe both. Judge Judy would rip you both a new one. Him for taking advantage of you, and you for letting him.
  • Dec 13, 2009, 09:25 AM
    Devorameira
    He doesn't sound like the greatest guy in the world. Did he ever pay you back for the ticket, car and gas? Whatever you do, don't give him any additional money.

    To me it doesn't sound like he really wants to pursue a relationship with you. I can't quite figure out what he's up to, but it's not right. Maybe he thinks he may need some more money later on and wants to keep you hanging just "in case", or maybe he's wanting to keep you as a backup in case he doesn't find someone he likes better.

    My suggestion is to move on and find someone you can trust. You don't need a yo-yo relationship like this.

    ------------------------------------

    “Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell” - Joan Crawford
  • Dec 13, 2009, 09:39 AM
    amicon

    He's using you. Stop letting him by having nothing more to do with him.
  • Dec 19, 2009, 07:25 PM
    das729
    What is this guy doing to me
    Threads merged

    Okay so me and this guy were seeing each other and he left for ontario. We texted each other everyday. At the end of August I bought him a plane ticket to come back home because he didn't have a mastercard and said he would pay me back. I also had to buy a car rental and gas to drive him where he lives 3 hours away. Anyway we had sex and the next day just didn't seem to really like me. So I drove back home cause he said he wasn't ready for a serious relationship. Well we didn't really talk too much since then. On my birthday October 18th he was upset and we talked and then a week later text me and said he was really really upset so I listened. A week after that he text me and asked me out and wouldn't stop even though in my heart it was wrong. He text back in the morning and said sorry I was drunk. Then we never talked but in mid November asked what I was doing on the weekend and I said nothing but he never said anything back. Now last Friday night I accidentally texted him when I was drunk and he texted me the whole night till I fell asleep. Then he called me the Saturday after at one in the afternoon. I never answered cause I was scared too, so I text him and told him I was doing something and asked what he wanted and he said to talk. I never texted him back. Whenever he talks to me he always talks about us though. Then I texted him that Saturday night and said good night, and he said good night, even though you never texted me back. So I said when and he said when I called, then he said well not all day, good night, thanks for thinking of me :). Then I never heard from him till Friday night he text me and said hey how's it going so I said I'm drunk he said lol no not you then I said I'm done finals time to party and he said lol I'm not even going anywhere for christmas so I said why not, go visit family, so he said didn't work out, dog brought up a lot of problems, so I said oh crappy, I'll make you a turkey jk. He said lol I'm vegetarian so he said haha yeah right so he said I know lol, you going home at all for christmas? So I said not to sure, going with the flow, so he said lol well then, if your not going somewhere want to meet up? So I said maye I don't have a vehicle so he said okay well les plan something so I can save, better to have a christmas with someone that's for sure then a quick one, so I said I'm not having sex with you, and he said oh I'm driving over twelve hours for you? Look I'm just wanting someone to spend christmas with, that's all. Don't know if you noticed I'm spending money to be with you, obviously I'm working for you danielle. So I said why not your friends? I just don't want sex. He said That's still what you think I want? I told you to wait and you **** off because you can't wait, then I want to try and you still take it the wrong way. So I said you just said you wanted a quick one, I'm so confused. So he said no I did not etc, we talked about that for a bit. He said okay I'm home now, sounds like a bad question to ask this point but do you want to play 21 questions? I said not tonight, and he said all right then one question, how come you never called me back or texted me after I called you. So I said cause I thought if you wanted to talk you would call back, so he said but you never let me know when a good time was, when you don't tell me then I don't know. So I said you never asked, I don't get what you want from me, so he said a coversation where you don't think I'm trying to **** you and to know what's happening in your life, but that's to hard apparently, so I said well then give me a call when your in town and we can talk. He never texted me back after that. I don't get it I'm so over it. He's not even trying, I hear from him once a week. I think he's just lonely or something or what? I feel if he ever texts me again I'm going to be like you either want to be with me or leave me the **** alone right? Thanks
  • Dec 19, 2009, 09:46 PM
    justcurious55

    Why are you wasting time with this guy? He used you. You said yourself, he didn't seem that into you. Then later, he only seems to call or txt you when he's drunk or bored.
  • Dec 20, 2009, 01:20 AM
    amicon

    Again, he's using you. Cut all contact-dont reply to his texts etc. Move on.

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