I know a lot of you are going to read this and think I'm stupid but people do stupid things when they are in love and the heart will not truly let go until it is ready... ive been dating this guy for some time.. we hit it off well and he says he loves me.. wants to marry me.. have kids the whole 9... called his mother up and had her talk to me and told her this is the girl I'm going to marry... so I find out yesterday that he has another fiancé... who he has been seeing off and on for 5 years... I was devastated.. now for reasons I'm not sure about.. his mother knows nothing of this girl.. he says he loves me.. and he loves her.. and he doesn't know what to do... so what can I do to keep him?or is it a lost cause

Do you really want to stay with a man who is leading a double life?

While he was sleeping with you he was sleeping with her.

The I love yous he whispered to you were second hand,he was telling her too.

The future children with you were also with her..

Leave.

Don't look back.. he does not love you,nor the other women.
If there is two of you,maybe there is more,you can't trust what he says any more..

He has betrayed you.

Leave.
Leave now.
Before you get further in.

Run as fast as you can! Don't look back.

Why would you want to 'keep' someone that has been lying to you (and to someone else?)?

There is no joy or happiness here, only sorrow and pain.

He's a liar and a cheat. Lying cheat's don't make good husbands or daddies.

I understand... easier said than done... she does not live here so her circumstances are diff.. I think they have known each other since high school and thus have a history.. so I know he's not sleeping with her.. shes thousands of miles away... and I am pregnant... sorry I didn't throw that twist in there.. part of me wants to cut him totally off so he can feel the pain I feel... so he will know what its like to have something taken from him... I know I need to leave... my heart is not letting me

Pregnant or not, my advice stays the same.

This man will bring nothing but heartache and trouble to your door.

Your heart won't let you? How much more does he need to do, there's no honesty here,there's no trust,there's no relationship...

I'm sorry, I don't mean to be mean to you,but this is not a relationship your in,it's a mess.

Its OK... I know your just being honest

So I know what I should do... and everyone keeps telling me how he will realize how stupid he is and try to come back... esp my ex's who I'm still friends with who know what kind of woman I am... if that happens what should I do? How should I handle it.. and where the hell is tali? I remember him from my other sn and he always gives good advice


And ill add this too.. if I had good friends to help get me through this I think it wouldn't be so bad.. but I'm newly in the military on my first duty station and I have no friends or fam here to help me this time

Tal.. he really is the man!

I don't know what tal would say..
But I do know that the people who love you would want the best for you,this guy is not the best...

He put you second.. for me it would not matter if he could take the stars out of the sky,and offer me the world,because he was not true when you were,you gave him your heart,and his was already taken.

There's someone else out there who believes every word his says...
Don't be a fool for this guy, your pregnant,you have bigger fish to fry now,and someone else you going to need you more then a two faced cheating louse.

Liars, and cheaters, make lousy husbands, and partners,

But he is no longer the issue, the child you carry is. You don't have to be couple to work together to raise this child with love and care. Nor should you even think he will change, and be a good partner.

Forget tying your hopes on him doing the right thing, but do whatever it takes to make sure he is accountable for his responsibilities, and that may mean child support.

As a partner, NO WAY!! He has already lied and deceived you (and his family it seems), its your fault if you give him a chance to do it again. He may say he will change, but I seriously doubt it.

Ohhhh finally the person I was waiting on to post... im surprised you didn't say more... he is so in love with the fact that I'm pregnant... he can't stop telling me he loves me and the baby and he keeps kissing my stomach despite my protest... it rather disgusts me... because I want to hate him... like the mariah carey song... I can't wait to hate u

I can imagine that any attention you get from him during your pregnancy you will think its great, but his actions as a man are already down the toilet and giving your heart to a guy who is a proven liar and cheater, makes no sense. You got into this situation by believing him, and you will stay in a bad situation if you continue to take his words, and not pay attention to his actions.

The worse part will be when you have to count on him, and he doesn't produce. If I were you, I wouldn't fall for the words but think of your child and put the child's needs above you both. The child is the only one who doesn't have a choice. That's something to tell the father while he kisses your belly, that you expect him to take care of his child, and you will no longer take his word for a damn thing.

Only you can protect this baby, and should.

I will do that.. hes said he will be there.. so we shall c.. if not he's in the military and won't b hard to track down for child support.. should I cut him off? Not talk to him

That may be best, and may explain why he has another female so far away. You never know how many females he really has, or children. That's something to find out for a fact.

That I do know from talking to his mother.. this will be their first grandchild and they are all so happy they don't know what to do about it... now about the other woman thing yea its possible...

Mzlady, sorry for what your going through. Stay strong and focus on your unborn child. Honestly, do yourself a favor and kick him to the ground. He is a cheat and a liar. Many single moms raise their children by themselves. He actually did you a favor, you found out before you married this creep. Sorry, that's what he is. You sound like you have your head together and no what the right thing to do is. So just concentrate on you and that baby, and forget him. Sure it hurts! But in the long run, you will look back, and happy you found out before its too late.

Yea I know... I just wish I didn't want to still be with him

Your emotions are paying a big roll in this. You need to stay focus and concentrate what's in the best interest for you and the baby. It isn't love, he is having the best of both worlds. This man has lied to you from day one. You think he is the only guy in the world. I am sure you come in contact with them everyday. Someone else will come along that you can trust and be honest to you. As far as his Mom right now, I would keep my distance. The more you talk to her it keeps the wound open. Make the break now, before you regret not doing it sooner. Just remember there are a lot of other fish in the sea.. good luck.

All right so I posted a little while ago about my initial situation... so I took the advice and moved on... well my ex got married to the other girl... he found out I was dating someone else... lost it.. I mean really lost it.. hes so mad its ridiculous... told me that no one will ever make me feel like he does no one can replace him... said no one will be better than him... I told him he was wrong.. he got mad and told me not to talk to him anymore... I said OK... didnt chase... he came back... pulled me next to him... and asked me if I loved him... I told him yes... he asked if I was trying to hurt him... I said no... he said if I decide to leave my wife one day will you leave who you are with to be with me? I said probably not... I found out this weekend she's paying for half of his brand new truck... why won't he let me go? What am I supposed to do? I'm literally driving him crazy because he wants me and I'm blowin him off... if he wants me so bad why the hell did he marry her?!

Tell him to leave you alone for good. He sounds a little warped in the head to me. If he doesn't leave you alone, file a restraining order against him. He's nothing but trouble and will just cause you more problems. You don't need that in your life. Trust me on that. End this thing now.

I'm having his baby and I love him