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-   -   LDR frustrations (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=423934)

  • Dec 10, 2009, 05:06 PM
    LDRfrustration
    LDR frustrations
    My girlfriend & I met in college. We were together for about 12 - 14 months. Things were great. Then college ended. She went to another college on the other side of the country and I got a job at home. There is about 3hrs between us.
    We talk on the phone every day for between 5-30 minutes. Sometimes its howya others it's a good conversation. We have just celebrated our 3yr anniversary. Instead of celebrating it we had a big discussion as to where we were going with the LDR. Its putting a real strain on both of us. WE say I will move after she finishes college in a yr (but it would hurt my job prospects).
    Recently any mention of a guy (stranger / otherwise) has put my mind in knots. Is she cheating or not? I don't think she is but I can't tell as I'm so far away. I still love her to bits but I'm increasingly wondering if she feels the same. Is this just my paranoia due to the distance or what?
    Should we have another big talk 3months after the last or should we just call it a day and end it gracefully.
  • Dec 10, 2009, 05:51 PM
    talaniman

    If you can't handle the distance, or your feelings you will poison things any way.

    Surviving a Long-Distance Relationship

    Handle This: Seven Ways To Survive A Long Distance Relationship | The Frisky

    These are some good reads, and should give you food for thought.
  • Dec 24, 2009, 01:50 PM
    LDRfrustration

    Thanks for your help. I'll give it a look.
  • Dec 25, 2009, 01:30 PM
    Sariss

    It's difficult, I know. While I don't have any real advice, I wish you the best in what you do decide.

    I myself am currently in a long distance relationship - there are about 2300 miles between us (4 hour flight), and to make it worse he is American and I am Canadian.

    If it was meant to be, it will work out.
  • Dec 25, 2009, 02:32 PM
    Devorameira
    Long distance relationships are challenging but they can work, as long as you are both honest and trusting of one another.

    I noticed you said that you'd planned to move to her town after graduation, but then said it'd hurt your job prospects. If you have no intention of moving to her town after graduation then I would say you need to have a long talk with her to determine where your relationship is actually heading. It's not fair of her to think you'll be moving there and then not come. If you have no intention of eventually getting together, you may as well end it now.

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