Ask Me Help Desk - I don't know anymore!

Ok, Just need to vent...
My boss HATES me! :(
Example we were in the kitchen I was making a fresh pot of coffee, we started small chat about coffee brands, right in the middle of my sentence he just turned around and walked away!:confused: I thought to myself he must have a hecktic schedule lined up for the day. Well I went out heading towards his office to ask if there was anything I could do for him, and he was chatting away with one of the other girls in the office laughing it up. I didn't think I was that boreing!
Recently we changed our compnay letter head, amd I was writing up some client letters for him ,and went into get his approval and asked about the letter head (I am also very new to this office and type of work) And he stared at me in dis-belief! And said in a very sarcastic voice "uhhh ya, that's where we work, so ya that's our letter head". And gave the other girl in the room a look as if to say can you believe this woman? Not only that, but last Saturday was our Christmas party, the man spent $1,000.00 in booze for the after party at his house. I VOWED that I was not going to get wasted so I wouldn't make an a$$ out of myself, and I didn't, but I feel that because I didn't let loose like everyone else, he doesn't see me as part of the group.He barley even spoke to me that night. When I went to thank him for the dinner and drinks all he said was "ya".
From the day I started here he has made me SO uncomfortable with myself, and I am always second guessing myself! We can go a week with out even saying hello to each other. I always try to say good morning, but now I feel too insecure to even say hi in the mornings. I know other people have said the same things about him, but I definitely do not take part in "office talk". Anyway, that's about it. Good thing it's not busy here these days lol.
Have any of you guys ever felt like the black sheep of the office?

How long have you been there?

Doesn't sound like he doesn't like you, sounds like he doesn't really know you. You aren't there to be friends though, you are there to work, excellent work will get you attention from the boss.

Been there, done that, wrote the book.

I think it's time to talk to him about it. Ask him if there's something that you're doing that he doesn't approve of. Let him know that you feel like the black sheep of the office and you don't know why.

The bottom line though, you're not there to make friends, you're there to work. As long as he's happy with the work you do then it really shouldn't matter whether he likes you as a person.

It's hard, but it's true. :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Justwantfair

How long have you been there?

Doesn't sound like he doesn't like you, sounds like he doesn't really know you. You aren't there to be friends though, you are there to work, excellent work will get you attention from the boss.

Stop going into my head! Are we sharing a brain today? I thought it was my turn to use it.

Sorry, had to spread the rep.

I'm going to go hide in the corner now and I'm taking the brain with me. ;)

Hmm good advice. Believe me this man is way too intimidating to want to be friends with! I have only been here for 4 months. I don't think I could ever ask him what it is he doesn't like about me, not yet anyway... I always try to do the best I can, but I get so overwhelmed with trying to do the best job that I end up making STUPID mistakes. I know,I know try and calm down, Right? Easier said then done lol.

Learn everything you can about your position. With repetition and knowledge comes confidence.

Don't worry too much about his lack of acknowledgement, not everyone 'clicks' just do your job to the best of your abilities, because even without your boss you are gaining experience and that is something you will take with you everywhere.

Alty, don't worry I am done with the brain for today... it's whooped.

Thanks guys, (I use that term loosley) it's good advice for sure. I still can't relieve myself of this overwhelming nausia/regret/dred/terrifed feeling I get when he walks my way. Like you said though "With repetition and knowledge comes confidence". I am just a nervous person anyway. Have you even seen those bumbling characters on TV? The ones who constantly get their buttons caught in strang things and end up ripping huge holes in theor shirts? Or the ones who search relentlessly for their pen, and it's in their hair, or the glasses they can never find that are on the top of their heads? Ya that's me... I could write a book on embaressing moments at the work place!

Me and the Shredding Machine are going to have a fist fight before the week is out, if my button doesn't get caught in it first and he eats me...

Your boss doesn't hate you, you hate yourself and it's contagious.

Think of it from his perspective - he has a job to do and he expects his staff to do their jobs. You come in bumbling, asking silly questions, and generally doing a Mr Bean act by looking like you lack confidence in yourself.

He's clearly someone that doesn't dispense the niceties - other staff have said the same thing about him.

Stop taking this so personally. Your boss is not your friend, he's your employer. If you lack confidence in yourself, that's your issue not his. You're there to do a job, just do your best. Focus on the job, not his reaction to it. Ask assistance of other people if you need it. Say good morning to him without expecting a response.

Try and accept that this is a workplace not a friendship group and that not everyone will treat you the way you'd like to be treated. It's the way of the world. If you genuinely try and accept it and you'll feel better about yourself and the work that you're doing.

PS Stand back from that shredding machine and avoid the laminating machine at all costs...

I've had bosses like that, and it just really boils down to their personality. If he's the kind of boss that throws a big bash for his staff at his home, and everybody has a great time, he's probably one of those people who comes across as a hard *ss, but is really a big teddy bear inside.

People like that are high output, and don't waste time when they see something that looks more interesting across the room. That's just the way they are, no insult intended.

As justwantsfair has said, when you are good at your work, and confident, and not feeling that every little thing is being watched, you'll feel more comfortable, and he won't seem like the big bad wolf- hopefully.

Be careful around the shredding machine lol

Ya I definitely try to avoide over exposure with him at all costs. Hmm I didn't think I hated myself... I guess I just didn't expect him to treat me like... the way he does. I do know my job, and I am fairly good at it. But he makes me SO nervous! Like I said this is all new, and he knew that I was new to this when I was coming on the job. I guess I expected a little more guidance. Oh well such is not, and I like my job, so all I can do is keep my head up high and keep pushing through it. It's nice to hear that other people have been in the same shoes as me. I don't know if it's my work preformance he isn't happy with or he just doesn't like me. I am assuming that because he has never complained about the quality of work I provide that it's more he doesn't know me. Ya I do make stupid mistakes on occasion, but I think everyone in this line of work in my posistion has done that.. maybe? Lol.

And honestly I am much cuter then Mr. Bean :)

[QUOTE=Aurora_Bell;2125494]Ya I definitely try to avoide over exposure with him at all costs. Hmm I didn't think I hated myself... I guess I just didn't expect him to treat me like... the way he does. I do know my job, and I am fairly good at it. But he makes me SO nervous! Like I said this is all new, and he knew that I was new to this when I was coming on the job. I guess I expected a little more guidance. Oh well such is not, and I like my job, so all I can do is keep my head up high and keep pushing through it. It's nice to hear that other people have been in the same shoes as me. I don't know if it's my work preformance he isn't happy with or he just doesn't like me. I am assuming that because he has never complained about the quality of work I provide that it's more he doesn't know me. Ya I do make stupid mistakes on occasion, but I think everyone in this line of work in my posistion has done that.. maybe? Lol.

And honestly I am much cuter then Mr. Bean

Quote:

And honestly I am much cuter then Mr. Bean

Well, that's a relief!