So my boyfriend and I broke up around a month ago, & out of spite, slept with another girl a couple days after. Technically not cheating, but it still made me extremely upset. I found out by questioning and questioning till he finally admitted it. What do I do? He's trying to get back together for the past couple of weeks claiming he's changing & will never happen again. Either way I find myself unhappy. Unhappy with him and unhappy without him. Help please!

What you do is block him out of your life and focus on recovering from your break up.

I'm trying to block him out but I find myself calling or texting at some point during the day. Definitely never give any chances again?

It seems to me that he was using her as a rebound and he was upset, however that was not the best move. It seems to me that he denied it and lied to you about him sleeping with another girl. I recommend that you move forward with your life and I am willing to discuss any other ideas you have. =]

Yes, lied until I forced it out of him! I can tell he's very ashamed at what he's done, he should be. But in moving forward should I completely ignore him, try to stay friends.. ah some ideas please :)

This may be harsh to hear, but do not follow your heart. Follow what your mind has to say. You can stay friends but try to cut contact as much as possible. If you hang around with him too much you'll never be able to heal.

Technically he hasn't cheated on you so that's a first (once on a break up he is allowed to do anything). You can only answer that question for yourself of whether you want to go back with him or not.

True, Thanks paxe. I just don't know if its worth getting back or not, I feel like if I allow things to work out I'll always have that image in the back of my mind, but at the same time I don't picture myself with any other person! Ugh I drive myself crazy.

I would say it depends on who broke up with who? If he broke up with you and went and shagged some other girl 2 days later and now wants you back because the grass wasn't greener I would say no way in heck do you get back together with him. On the other hand, if you broke up with him and he went and did it... still not the best move on his end, but I can at least understand why he did it, not that I approve of it, I just say I get it. I've been told that you learn the most about someone from a break-up, and what you've learned about him is that the second you're not in the picture he'll go looking elsewhere. It's a tough call, I personally could not get back together with somebody who did that to me, I could forgive them for it but I would never forget it...

You need to figure out if you want him or not.

If you stay on this teeter-totter, one of you is going to fall off.

Get a plan together. Tell him that you are confused, and not ready to fully commit just yet. You want 30 days to think about it in order to figure out how you really feel about him.

See how he manages with the 30 days. If, after that time, he is still sincere about changing, being honest, and working on a serious relationship, then by all means I'd give it another shot.

If after 30 days he is distant, and become used to no longer entertaining the idea of a serious relationship, then you'll have your answer.

Stop all the contact until you figure it out for yourself without his influence. No I wouldn't take him back though, as even though you were broken up, he still found someone else to be with, and that shows you something about him you didn't know.

A week without contact may help you decide if he is really worth it or not.

This advice is much appreciated. Im definitely going to give that a try. Jake, I like how you used "teeter-toter" Great analogy! Very true

Im extremely stressed by all of this so I guess it doesn't hurt to try something new. Im going to tell him today that I need some time to think about things & to figure them out. Hope this goes well..

If you're stressed you may want to take care of yourself, aka eating well and exercising, doing sports is important!

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Originally Posted by hearts7291

True, Thanks paxe. I just don't know if its worth getting back or not, i feel like if i allow things to work out i'll always have that image in the back of my mind, but at the same time i don't picture myself with any other person! Ugh i drive myself crazy.

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This feeling you're having is normal. If you don't know how to take it right now, then give yourself time to sit down and think. Write things down that occurred throughout or around the relationship, both good and bad, then go back at look over it. Take it step by step because right now only time can help you.

Thank you to all for the advice.. It helps a lot. As far as updates go, I found out today that he was sleeping with that girl for more than one time.. So I called it quits today for good. Even though right now I'm not in the best state of mind, I'm happy I found out more of the lies he's been telling me, its made it that much easier to see my decision. So now hopfully I'm on my way to recovering from this mess.

You seem to be doing well and you seem to have a good head.
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