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-   -   How to find out if she wants a relationship (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=422751)

  • Dec 6, 2009, 06:48 PM
    nervousstudent
    I am 19, at university and I really like this girl, she nice, sweet, hot, has a great personality, and we get on so well. Like we just click. I have a slight feeling she may feel the same way as I do. Like I met her when we where both in the same work group for one of my lectures. And we got on really well in that and we still get on really well, and it been 2 months. Like with my other relationships they have just happened, like we just both knew, or someone told me she felt the same way, but in this case I don't know many of her friends and the ones I do I don't know that well to ask them. But like I don't want to go out and ask her on a date or kiss her if it turns out that she doesn't likes me the same way. Like it would be uncomfortable and I wouldn't want the friendship to end because of it.
  • Dec 6, 2009, 06:53 PM
    jmjoseph

    Get two tickets to anything that you know she couldn't say no to. Then tell her that you have an extra ticket, and ask her if she would like to go.

    You hang out with her enough, you'll know how she feels about you.
  • Dec 6, 2009, 07:08 PM
    Fr_Chuck

    You ask, just plain and simple
  • Dec 6, 2009, 07:15 PM
    Alty

    Like just ask her and she'll like either say yes or like no. Like really.
  • Dec 6, 2009, 11:33 PM
    Just Dahlia
    Tough one, but you might want to ask in a casual way.. just to go to a movie or something and see how she reacts. You might get more of a feel for the situation after you ask and during the 'date' (for lack of better word)
    I would say just 'ask', but then if she doesn't feel the same way (and not knowing her) she might feel uncomfortable with the friendship afterward.

    I think a lot of girls know when some one is interested in them, they just might not be sure if they are ready and willing to act upon it.:)
  • Dec 7, 2009, 07:43 AM
    I wish
    Fair warning

    Please keep all questions regarding the same issue in the same thread.

    Please do not create a seperate account asking the same questions.

    You won't know how she feels about you until you tell her.

    You're not really friends if you're only sticking around waiting for her to have feelings for you.

    Just ask her on a date. If she's interested, she will come out and go from there.

    If she's not interested, she will refuse to go out and then you can find someone else who will feel the same way about you, instead of waiting around for her.
  • Dec 7, 2009, 10:51 AM
    jaime90

    Ask her straight up. You can survive a "no."
  • Dec 7, 2009, 08:30 PM
    nervousstudent

    But like we are really good friends, like we talk quite a lot. And like I no most of her friends now, and stuff but not in a way I can ask them if she does. Like if it goes wronge and she says no I don't want to ruin the friendship, like is there a way I can ask in a way that if she where to say no I could brush it off in a sense I like say I was jokin, or like a way that I can find out with out asking her?
  • Dec 7, 2009, 08:37 PM
    Just Dahlia
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by nervousstudent View Post
    but like we are really good friends, like we talk quite alot. and like i no most of her friends now, and stuff but not in a way i can ask them if she does. like if it goes wronge and she says no i don't want to ruin the friendship, like is there a way i can ask in a way that if she where to say no i could brush it off in a sense i like say i was jokin, or like a way that i can find out with out asking her??

    Read the posts above:rolleyes: Like there were several options:) I would go with jmJosephs, that is an easy way in and out.:cool:
  • Dec 7, 2009, 10:10 PM
    Gemini54
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by nervousstudent View Post
    but like we are really good friends, like we talk quite alot. and like i no most of her friends now, and stuff but not in a way i can ask them if she does. like if it goes wronge and she says no i don't want to ruin the friendship, like is there a way i can ask in a way that if she where to say no i could brush it off in a sense i like say i was jokin, or like a way that i can find out with out asking her??

    If you're scared - and I do understand how you feel - go for the subtle approach.

    No point in pretending you're joking - that's like asking someone something serious and taking it back.

    After you go out with her the first time - say, to a movie or something - you could just say "would you like to do this again?"
  • Dec 8, 2009, 01:16 PM
    I wish
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by nervousstudent View Post
    like if it goes wronge and she says no i don't want to ruin the friendship

    If you're already friends, she probably already made up her mind on whether she wants to give you a chance to pursue a romantic relationship or just remain friends. All you have to do is find out the answer.

    If you're that afraid of rejection, then ask her to hang out one and one, instead of calling it a "date", that would take off some pressure.

    But you shouldn't have to pretend that you're joking about your feelings if she rejects you. Why are you so scared of admitting your feelings for her?
  • Dec 8, 2009, 01:57 PM
    slapshot_oi
    I personally wouldn't go with the ticket idea unless it's something that you can attend with anyone, like a hockey game. And, being as your nervous already, that pending fear of eating the tickets will likely add to your nerves.

    Ask her out for a burger or something dumb like that (coffee is too cliche), if she agrees then you already know two things:
    1. She probably likes you, and
    2. If you date her, you already know that you don't have to spend much money on her.
  • Dec 8, 2009, 08:13 PM
    talaniman
    Invite her to hang out with you, and do fun stuff, like bowling, miniature golf, or even as was suggested, grab a burger, and if she says no, you can still be friends, just don't cry, and be discouraged, as then at least you know its friends only, and you can turn your attention else where for someone to date, and still invite someone else out, not her friends though, as its better to ask someone outside her circle of friends.
  • Dec 8, 2009, 09:19 PM
    Just Dahlia
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by slapshot_oi View Post
    I personally wouldn't go with the ticket idea unless it's something that you can attend with anyone, like a hockey game. And, being as your nervous already, that pending fear of eating the tickets will likely add to your nerves.


    Ask her out for a burger or something dumb like that (coffee is too cliche), if she agrees then you already know two things:
    1. She probably likes you, and
    2. If you date her, you already know that you don't have to spend much money on her.

    Your so funny:) A Hockey Game?:rolleyes:

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