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-   -   I'm in a monogamous, long distance relationship. Is phone sex cheating? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=422526)

  • Dec 6, 2009, 01:52 AM
    thelogosdude
    I'm in a monogamous, long distance relationship. Is phone sex cheating?
    My girlfriend and I broke up over the summer. Now, we're sort of-not really together. She and I live about a thousand miles apart as she finished school. It's not a relationship. But neither of us are actively seeking someone else. We text just about every day and talk about once a week on the phone.
    Earlier tonight I had phone sex with an old friend. I immediately regretted it. I felt like I was cheating, even though I'm not in a "relationship." Both girls (my ex and my old friend) are on a small college campus, where many people know each other, and word can travel fast. I don't regret it just because I could get caught. I honestly feel guilt about this.
    My question is, should I tell my "ex-ish" girlfriend about this? And is this cheating, really? Opinions very much appreciated...
  • Dec 6, 2009, 02:13 AM
    redhed35

    If your not together,your not cheating.

    Kind of sort of in a relationship is NOT a relationship.
  • Dec 6, 2009, 02:17 AM
    mudweiser

    I agree with reddy.

    It's not a relationship... sounds very juvenile.

    If she was your girlfriend WHY do not establish what the relationship is? Wait a minute... if she was your girlfriend you really wouldn't be wondering if you are in a relationship or not.

    Seems to me it's not a relationship. It's more like pals that once dated with the ever so often I love you [right?].

    In my books it's not cheating because you aren't even in a relationship to begin with.
  • Dec 6, 2009, 02:27 AM
    amicon
    No its not cheating. I would advice you to get your relationship with the kind of sort of ex sorted out- if you're broken up wouldn't it be a good idea to leave her in the past? Being friends with a recent ex is usually not a good idea.
  • Dec 6, 2009, 02:30 AM
    mudweiser
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by amicon View Post
    No its not cheating. I would advice you to get your relationship with the kinda sort of ex sorted out- if you're broken up wouldnt it be a good idea to leave her in the past? Being friends with a recent ex is usually not a good idea.

    Like you said "usually"

    ;)

    Not all exes should be left in the past. Some are keepers [as friends].
  • Dec 6, 2009, 02:31 AM
    asking

    Find out if you are in a relationship with either of them. If you aren't sure, ask them what they think. If you are in a relationship with one of them, I recommend you break off and find someone who is closer.

    That's my advice. ;)
  • Dec 6, 2009, 05:38 AM
    ChildOfGod_1

    no. u aren't cheating on your ex-girl. But what you are doing can be wrong.

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