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-   -   What should I do if the one I like can't make up their mind for their feelings? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=422503)

  • Dec 5, 2009, 10:39 PM
    Unknown00124
    What should I do if the one I like cant make up their mind for their feelings?
    Ok, right now I am depressed. I really like this girl, but the thing is, she can't make up her mind about her feelings for me. And people say she might be falling for this other guy, who tends to be my best friend. I don't know what to do.

    First of all, I hear about this girl that likes me one day (this is when it all started). So I began to have feelings for her too. People saw that too. So after a few days, I am already told to ask her out, which I thought was too soon. I felt rushed, but I was also told if I didn't ask her soon enough she will move on. You know what I did? I asked her out, since I had realized my feelings for her. What did she say? She said it was too soon(face palm) and that I should wait.

    Before I asked her out, I tried to overcome my shyness towards girls I like( one way I was able to ask her out). I also talked to her at times she wasn't around her friends, or if she comes up to me first. After I asked her out, she begins to act like she is ignoring me, like not even talking to me. I admit I didn't talk to her either, but it was only because people kept telling weird things, like it would be a waste of time to wait, and that I should move on. So I was told to talk to her again, but I only get a chance only to say hi and that's it, just a hi.

    People tell me she is unsure of her feelings for me. People tell me that she mite still like my best friend, whom she liked before me. But he's going out with someone already. My thoughts are, soon my best friend and his girlfriend will soon break up, and the girl I like will have a chance to go out with my best friend. I feel heartbroken at that point.

    I really like her, but I am really unsure what to do. So my question is: what should I do to have a chance with her? Should I have a highpathetical conversation with about this with her, or would that a little awkward?
  • Dec 5, 2009, 10:51 PM
    jaime90

    You need to talk to her about this instead of hearing it through other people. The best way to find out how someone else feels is to ask them.

    In my opinion, if she is consistently changing her mind about you, or isn't commited- then you need to move on. Adding your best friend, your best friend's girlfriend and tons of gossip and drama is just ridiculous, and since your relationship isn't that far in, and you started it off by asking her out way too soon, I don't see it lasting... However, you should ask her where she stands.
  • Dec 5, 2009, 10:55 PM
    CptJaneway

    Ask her straight out and quit torturing yourself. Then, if she is still "acting weird" move on. No one is worth what you are going through. It's her loss, not yours.
  • Dec 5, 2009, 11:17 PM
    Unknown00124

    Thank you for replying. Ive now made a decision for what I shall do. Next time I get a clean conversation with her, I will ask her what her feelings for me are. She will most likely end up telling me straight forward and I will have to move on, but I will ask her to be friends still, since we were good friends to start with, right? I see now that some of my actions turned out to be mistakes, but whatever happens is what I will have to deal with.

    Lastly of my words, some people(sorry for bringing that up) will end up telling me she likes me again, since she is "wierd" like that. From there I will play by ear, or mind.
  • Dec 6, 2009, 12:35 AM
    paxe

    Something else, don't let "people" dictate what you need to do. I see this as a major red flag in your part, and to some extent you can be manipulated easily.

    Seriously, you have your own opinion and your own conscience, use it and don't rely on what people say or do.
  • Dec 6, 2009, 09:07 AM
    Unknown00124

    I see that was one of my big mistakes. And I don't want to happen any longer.
  • Dec 6, 2009, 09:48 AM
    amicon
    Good,if you ask her for an honest answer I hope you get one. And you've learnt not to listen to other people's opinion's of how someone else feels towards you.
  • Dec 6, 2009, 10:08 AM
    Devorameira
    Sorry that you are feeling so torn. In reading your post, I assume that you have never actually dated this girl. :confused: If you haven't, then I don't think she really owes your any kind of explanation. She may really like you, but not in the dating sense of the way. I would suggest that you move on and find another girl that is interested in pursuing a relationship with you.
  • Dec 6, 2009, 10:27 AM
    Unknown00124

    That seems reasonable, though we have been through some kind of date, but it probably doesn't count. We went swimming with a group of people, and I was with her at the time, but some other people were near us, so we weren't alone, it was one her friends with us. But on the way back, she asked if she could sleep on my shoulder, so I let her.

    It probably doesn't count, and I might haven't given enough detail of what we did.

    Any way ill just give it time to see what happens.
  • Dec 6, 2009, 10:30 AM
    Devorameira
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Unknown00124 View Post
    Any way ill just give it time to see what happens.

    I think you're right in backing off. What do you really have to lose?

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