Ask Me Help Desk - Marriage

Marriage

Me and my boyfriend live in the same state,but in a different city.We been going together for almost 3months and he asked me to marry him on valentines day next year. Do you think that it's to soon to be talking about marriage. He was born in 3/7/1984 and I was born 9/27/1984. I want to move down there with him,but he act like he don't have the time off day to come up here to see me,what should I do. Do you think that we're moving to fast in this relationship. I love him and he loves me. He told me that he'll do anything for me,but sometimes he act like he don't have time to talk to me,he said, he be tired and everything. It's not that I don't believe him because I do,I know he wouldn't cheat on me,but I just like talking to him all the time because I don't see him like I want. We used to call each other all the time,but now it's like I call him all the time and he just call once or twice;I want to know what to do about this situation because when we see each other, we be happy to see each other,but ever time I look at him his smiling. I'm not saying that I'm not happy when he's just smiling when ever I look at him because I am.

3 months is barely time to know someone let alone talk about marriage. Long distance relationships are hard to maintain since there is so much time without seeing each other. Naw, This is moving way to fast, and you are not happy with the phone arrangements now so SLOW DOWN and spend the time to get to know each other face to face before you take a big step like marriage. What's the hurry to get married to someone you barely know?

Way too fast. Remember he has an 11 month old and one on the way, both with different women. Isn't that what you said in this post?

Like I said in that one, this is way too much baggage. The drama has not even begun yet, but I can most likely assure you there will be drama.

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Originally Posted by J_9

Way too fast. Remember he has an 11 month old and one on the way, both with different women. Isn't that what you said in this post?

Like I said in that one, this is way too much baggage. The drama has not even begun yet, but I can most likely assure you there will be drama.

Yep a lot of baby mama drama. No wonder he doesn't have time to visit or call.

Look at it this way...

He has an 11 month old and another on the way, then you say:

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but he act like he don't have the time off day to come up here to see me

Sounds like he is playing you girl!! Sounds to me like he has someone else he is playing too.

Is this the way you want to live the rest of your life? Because if you marry him, it will be.

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Originally Posted by Tweety031984

Me and my boyfriend live in the same state, but in a different city.

That is about the only good news here.

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Originally Posted by Tweety031984

We been going together for almost 3months and he asked me to marry him on valentines day next year. Do you think that it's to soon to be talking about marriage.

Hell yes!

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Originally Posted by Tweety031984

He was born in 3/7/1984 and I was born 9/27/1984.

Although you youth, I would assume is playing a part in this it wouldn’t matter if you were born in 1984 or 1944, three months is way too soon too marry.

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Originally Posted by Tweety031984

I want to move down there with him,but he act like he don't have the time off day to come up here to see me,what should I do.

You’ll notice the all caps as in I’m screaming at you….. RUN, DON’T WALK, RUN AWAY NOW. GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE!

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Originally Posted by Tweety031984

Do you think that we're moving to fast in this relationship.

Are you kidding? After 3 months I’m not even sure you can classify it as a relationship. Of course your moving too fast.

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Originally Posted by Tweety031984

I love him and he loves me.

You lust him, and he’s using you.

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Originally Posted by Tweety031984

He told me that he'll do anything for me,but sometimes he act like he don't have time to talk to me,he said, he be tired and everything. It's not that I don't believe him because I do,I know he wouldn't cheat on me,

Then you are stupid.

No offense, I’m not trying put you down but somebody needs to slap the reality back into you. He’s only 22 and he’s got three kids. Two with two different women who are pregnant. He’d cheat on you in heartbeat. What’s worse is your so hung up on him that you’d make excuses for it and blame yourself.

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Originally Posted by Tweety031984

but I just like talking to him all the time because I don't see him like I want. We used to call each other all the time,but now it's like I call him all the time and he just call once or twice;

That’s probably because he’s banging one of the other girls he’s got. Two of which are pregnant. Another already has a child.

Just out of curiosity am I paying for those kids? I’d bet you my entire salary this year that I am. I bet because you useless boyfriend can’t keep his pants up I’ve got to pay for the delivery, food, and shelter of all three of those kids. Tell your boy I said thanks for wasting my taxes from a responsible hard working man.

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Originally Posted by Tweety031984

I want to know what to do about this situation because when we see each other, we be happy to see each other

You haven’t even got the slightest clue what love is. Love is not winding up pregnant because you allow some loser to sweet talk you. Does he love you like he loved the other girls that he left a child with? I said it before, some people wind up with problems and they aren’t sure how they got to where they are. Everybody, and I mean EVERYBODY from all walks of culture and life can see what’s coming for you. You are going to wind up pregnant leftovers with another welfare child that the state must care for.

GET THE HELL OUT NOW!!

I think Chuff has nailed it for you, but I suspect that you will not listen because you THINK you are in love. Please post back and say that you understand that you have feelings for this bum, but don't want to ruin your life by falling under his spell. Then we can help and tell you to kickhim to the curb and keep him away from you. I know, your so in... what you think is love. It isn't.

Chuff, I wish there was that you need to spread before giving more rep did not exist on this site. Its annoying. Chuff your answer was so right on I had to comment on it. You set it out, point to point and in clear writing that if she does not understand this now, she will once everything you have said to her will come to pass and then she will be kicking herself in a$$ the for not listening to all the advice.

Joe