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-   -   New poem (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=422418)

  • Dec 5, 2009, 04:09 PM
    paigerwaiger94
    New poem
    Look at what I've done to her.
    Look at how I've made her cry.
    Knowing it would happen and going on anyway,
    Tears me up inside.
    Look at what I've done to her.
    Look at how I made her cry.
    It breaks my heart to know,
    That now I have to tell her goodbye.
    Look at what I've done to her.
    Look at how I've made her cry.

    -paige
  • Dec 5, 2009, 10:19 PM
    jaime90

    Most of this poem is made up of 2 lines: "look at what i've done to her, look at how i've made her cry." I suggest not repeating this line, since this is a poem not a song, and replacing them with something to add more emotion.
  • Feb 23, 2012, 05:35 PM
    jazzysoswaggy
    I agree with jaime90 because I think It needs more details. When I read this the first time it was like OK OK OK you've made her cry OK OK OK . But otherwise in think it's a very good poem just add some ore details.

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