Ask Me Help Desk - Miserable and stalking my ex.

Miserable and stalking my ex.

Me and him broke up 6 months ago and I still love him, I see him at school every day! His twin has a Facebook with pictures of them and these other girls (who are family friends), I can't help but feel extremely jealous and sad and all that, I feel like a loser... I feel like a stalker because I am constantly checking up on his brothers Facebook (my ex doesn't have one) just looking at their pictures and feeling like crap. I deleted my profile and hack on my friends to see it, it's very unhealthy! I don't know what to do, I know this is wrong, an invasion of privacy to many people and noot to mention just creepy on my part. Please help, give some solace! :(

Why do you think you are still attracted to this boy like a moth to a flame. Was it a sudden breakup? Was he involved with someone else? Was it a very long, involved relationship? Was it your first love?

Time does ease the pain, but it is a bit worrysome that you are, as you said, extremely jealous, and sad.

Try writing him a letter, the old fashioned way, pen and paper. Write out all the good times, and the bad times, and how you felt when you broke up. Let it all out in a letter, and conclude with a goodbye, realizing that it is over, and you have to move on.

Then destroy the letter, and let him go. There is no other way. After you have dealt with the lingering emotion and attachment to him, then it should be easier for you to stop watching his brother's profile for signs of him, and be better able to handle seeing him everyday at school.

Once you have said your goodbye, let it be the end. Many more opportunities around the corner, and it would be a shame to hang onto something that will stop you from realizing them.

Good luck.

You may feel like you love this boy, but love is commitment- which you lack. It is best to avoid him completely and stop all contact in order for you to heal from the break-up. You cannot change the circumstances by hacking your friend's Facebook profiles- the situation still remains the same- you have broken up, and if you are not careful with your next boyfriend, it will happen again... You need to learn to let go, learn from your mistakes, and move onward and upward.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jake2008

Why do you think you are still attracted to this boy like a moth to a flame. Was it a sudden breakup? Was he involved with someone else? Was it a very long, involved relationship? Was it your first love?

Time does ease the pain, but it is a bit worrysome that you are, as you said, extremely jealous, and sad.

Try writing him a letter, the old fashioned way, pen and paper. Write out all the good times, and the bad times, and how you felt when you broke up. Let it all out in a letter, and conclude with a goodbye, realizing that it is over, and you have to move on.

Then destroy the letter, and let him go. There is no other way. After you have dealt with the lingering emotion and attachment to him, then it should be easier for you to stop watching his brother's profile for signs of him, and be better able to handle seeing him everyday at school.

Once you have said your goodbye, let it be the end. Many more opportunities around the corner, and it would be a shame to hang onto something that will stop you from realizing them.

Good luck.

Hey, yeah well we were together for like.. one week, but I liked him for two and a half years prior to that, and he made me feel the way no one else did... The relationship was short lived but since I knew him for so long I knew stuff about him, maybe not him completely. The breakup was very abrupt, he didn't even tell me.. he told my friend, he's a jerk and a coward which I'm well aware of.. Thank your for the letter suggestion, I've done that already. Twice. It didn't really help because I'm stubborn and pessimistic, so at school when I see him, his presence stomps on my confidence (if that makes sense.. ) thanks for your suggestion though.

It's hard when you have to see him all the time.

Lucky for you, time is on your side. Don't let his actions stop you from a relationship down the road.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jake2008

It's hard when you have to see him all the time.

Lucky for you, time is on your side. Don't let his actions stop you from a relationship down the road.

Thanks, but I'm not really looking for a boyfriend I general, I'm only fifteen and I find myself not ready for one... But him, he makes my heart flutter... he makes my stomach turn, I know this sounds really cheesy and I usually never say this, I'm not even a romantic, but he is constantly on my mind, whether I want him to be. Also, I don't know if I mentioned this, but he's in my bio. Class so I see him for an hour everyday, not just passing me in the halls. During class, I sit near him (assigned seats) and I feel some sort of static between us, but I don't know if that's reciprocated... I feel like we always shoot glances at each other through out the period and not to mention he has a friend who is my friend too so it's even more tempting to bring him up, which I seldom do anyway.

Stay strong you'll get over him eventually. Think of all the reasons you broke up. Remember these reasons when you feel like checking up on him.

This isn't love, this is obsession. If you resort to stalking, then love is not the issue.

What you're doing is not healthy, which you already know.

It's time to find something else to occupy your time. Do not check up on him. Live your life and let him live his.

You're 15, this happens to girls your age. It'll keep happening until you find another guy that makes your heart go "pitter-pat" and once that's all over the whole thing will repeat itself..
You'll get over him.

Thanks all.. yeah, alten, I know.. It's a terrible obsession, love is indeed an over statement, but I do exaggerate from time to time. Point is, I do occupy my time with guitar, friends, music, etc. but I always think of him later or during, and about finding the new guy, I don't want that... I don't want the cycle to repeat itself! Lol

Quote:

Originally Posted by barbiechick123

thanks all.. yeah, alten, I know.. It's a terrible obsession, love is indeed an over statement, but I do exagerate from time to time. Point is, I do occupy my time with guitar, friends, music, etc. but I always think of him later or during, and about finding the new guy, I don't want that... I don't want the cycle to repeat itself! lol

Unfortunately girly, until you learn the difference, it's going to.
Have no fear though! You'll figure it out when it's time. :)

Thanks... um, also.. Should I get rid of or hide away things that hold memories? I catch myself watching our graduation DVD (which shows me and him hanging out, slow dancing, etc.) because it reminds me of that night... but then I just get depressed, should I put it in the box and hide it away or is that too much?