Hello,
More than a year ago my ex and I split up and when this happened she took our son that we had together with her. Not too long after I met my now fiancé and my ex decided that she could not handle having our son so she dropped him off at my house and told me that I was to take him for a little while because she felt very unstable and wasn't sure what she was going to do. Our son was so happy to be home, he was back to being my little boy and I was loving it. My now fiancé moved in just after christmas and she brought her daughter with her who is three months older than my little one. Our kids got along very well and it was a great thing to see.
So not too long after this my fiancé was bathing our children together because my ex was coming over and she had a thing with starting fights with my and my fiancé didn't like the fighting in front of the kids. My ex wanted our son back and I told her that, that wasn't an option because he was happy and not only that, he was in the bath and it was very close to being his bed time. So she asked if she could at least see him and say goodnight and I didn't see a problem with that. My fiancé got the kids out of the bath and got them all dresses but their hair was still a little damp. She brought both kids out and handed my son to me because she thought that would be best. I handed our son to my ex and turned my back for a minute and she ran out the door to her car! I was freezing outside he had no caot shoes and wet hair! I was very upset and when I told her that I wanted my son back she said that she would drop him if I moved toward her! She ended up putting him in her car and I kind of lost my temper a little and when she went to close her door I kind of broke it a little bit.
She was scared that I would come and try and get him back so she called the police and had a restraining order made up.
Well when it came time for us to go to court about where our son who was about 19 months old or so, the police told me that I wasn't allowed in the court room because of the order she had in place. She has phoned me since and been threatening to cut her wrists and all these other crazy things and I believe that it would be best for my son to be in my care and not with her. I think it would be a healthier environment and he wouldn't be in a day home all day, instead he would be at home with my fiancé and her now 27 month old daughter and my 13 year old son.
What are my options? How can I make this happen when the court keeps looking at me like I am a piece of crap?

First something doesn't make sense here. The restraining order should NOT apply to a court room. You have a right to be present at any custody hearing.

Second, your first mistake was not calling the police when she grabbed the child. But that's past.

Was there any custody agreement as part of the divorce? If not, then I would consider filing a kidnapping complaint against your ex.

But what you need know is an attorney. Your attorney needs to file for sole custody. You need to document the calls and threats your ex is making.