A friend, money, family, a good job, God, love, what is it?. I have struggled with my life since I was a little girl. Friends Come and go and all I ever hear is " Your such a good Friend" "Your are so kind to others"... But when I need a friend, everyone is too busy or doesn't have the time to be a friend... So maybe you don't need friends to be happy... Money, well, it sure as heck helps... no worrying about how things will get paid... no counting as you shop for groceries... So, Money may help... A good Job, Again... It sure helps... God... When I was a child we where very religious and devout Christans. We went to church every week, handed out food to the poor, followed all the "rules" and I was the most depressed little girl you would ever know. I would go to the woods near my house and eat all the berries I could find in hopes that I would die... I took 14 Tylonols one time and only got really sick... I was probably 8-9... At twelve molestd by a children's youth pastor... So then I realized... God would not let that happen... Maybe you don't need God to be happy... Love?. I have been abused more times than I can remember and am not quiet sure what love is... I also tryied ODing on well butrant and took 15... No Luck... I really try hard now to keep pills out of my house unless they are for children... I am 30 years old with two beautiful boys... So my question is... What does one need to do to be happy... Without taking anti-depressants...

Lol... Sorry everyone... Forgot to do a spell check... lol

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Originally Posted by chmiller25

I am 30 years old with two beautiful boys....So my question is....What does one need ... to be happy...

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Hello miller:

Uhhh, two beautiful boys is a good start... This is simply a matter of the glass being half full or half empty... Seeing the glass as half full could have a meaningful impact on your life..

There are professionals who can help you do that, if you're unable to accomplish it yourself.

excon

Quote:

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Originally Posted by excon

Hello miller:

Uhhh, two beautiful boys is a good start... This is simply a matter of the glass being half full or half empty... Seeing the glass as half full could have a meaningful impact on your life..

There are professionals who can help you do that, if you're unable to accomplish it yourself.

excon

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Having two boys IS a wonderful start... Does this mean the more kids I have the happier I am... No... There has to be more... There is a spanish saying that goes... "Faces we see....But hearts...We do not know" My sons see a happy face but does not know the truth...

Let me clarify myself... My boys are everything in life to me... they are the reason I get up every morning... But because of my past, I have to becareful what I do... Just like AA members try to stay away from alcohol because they know they are weak in that area... The same goes with me... I want to find something that will make me happy...

Quote:

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Originally Posted by chmiller25

But because of my past, I have to becareful what I do... I want to find something that will make me happy...

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Hello again, miller:

Ok, I'm going to give this one more shot. We ALL have pasts. We ALL have to do stuff different because of what we did in the PAST. That's called being WISE. You are NO different than ANYBODY.

Your past, however, is NOT a reason for you to be miserable TODAY. I know you're looking for something, but there is NOTHING to find. You HAVE everything you need. Your glass is half full.

I can't make you see it. I got it.. But, a professional CAN. I'm not LYING. What you are looking for, probably can be found in a counselors office. It ain't going to happen on the internet.

excon

I agree with excon. There are quick fixes for some things, but other things, you need to address with a professional.

Look at this a different way. If you keep going on looking for the 'reason' you feel as you do, you will never find it.

I have been the victim of a very violent past, and I turned the corner you are at now a long time ago. But, I had to admit, I could not understand enough on my own, to really let it all go.

That's where the help comes in. Turning that corner requires you to be very brave, and willing to deal with the past, in order to put it to rest.

Please seek help, you will not regret it.

First, I must apologize as this will sound corny, and you will have no doubt heard it many, many times.

There is nothing outside yourself that will magically make you happy. Happiness comes from within. It's an attitude, a perception, a way of being. It's acceptance.

None of us are happy 100% of the time. But many of us survive because we accept who we are, what has happened to us and what we currently have. It's never perfect - whatever that may be - it just is.

Wanting to be happy is like wanting to lose weight, give up smoking, buy a house - it's all in the future - it's some 'thing' in the future that we aspire to and want.

I'm going to sound horribly 'zen' now.. all we actually have is THIS moment. Think about it. This moment is all there is... the past is in the past - you can't go back, the future is in the future - you can't go forward. You can only be in the present moment.

Wanting to be happy in the future, and thinking about your past unhappiness just drain your energy. You can never be happy in the present because of this flicking between your past unhappiness and your future hopes.

I agree with excon & jake - seek professional help to assist you to change your perception. You'll be amazed how it will help your state of mind. I wish you all the best.

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Originally Posted by Jake2008

I agree with excon. There are quick fixes for some things, but other things, you need to address with a professional.

Look at this a different way. If you keep going on looking for the 'reason' you feel as you do, you will never find it.

I have been the victim of a very violent past, and I turned the corner you are at now a long time ago. But, I had to admit, I could not understand enough on my own, to really let it all go.

That's where the help comes in. Turning that corner requires you to be very brave, and willing to deal with the past, in order to put it to rest.

Please seek help, you will not regret it.

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Thanks you!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Gemini54

First, I must apologize as this will sound corny, and you will have no doubt heard it many, many times.

There is nothing outside yourself that will magically make you happy. Happiness comes from within. It's an attitude, a perception, a way of being. It's acceptance.

None of us are happy 100% of the time. But many of us survive because we accept who we are, what has happened to us and what we currently have. It's never perfect - whatever that may be - it just is.

Wanting to be happy is like wanting to lose weight, give up smoking, buy a house - it's all in the future - it's some 'thing' in the future that we aspire to and want.

I'm going to sound horribly 'zen' now .. all we actually have is THIS moment. Think about it. This moment is all there is ...the past is in the past - you can't go back, the future is in the future - you can't go forward. You can only be in the present moment.

Wanting to be happy in the future, and thinking about your past unhappiness just drain your energy. You can never be happy in the present because of this flicking between your past unhappiness and your future hopes.

I agree with excon & jake - seek professional help to assist you to change your perception. You'll be amazed how it will help your state of mind. I wish you all the best.

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Thank you... That is kind of what I was looking for... Because of what has happened in the past has affected the way I live today... I do worry about the future but I live for the day... That is one thing I will say... Because I don't know what tomorrow carries or what will happen... I live life to the fullest and take every opertunity that comes at me... But yet... I am not happy like I see others... "Happieness Comes from Withen"... So true... and for some it comes easier than others... I know that that is what I truly need to work on... I just wanted to see if I was missing something...

Have your reported the abuse? Because talking from experience the only way you will ever feel free is by telling the world what happened to you. And finding happiness well it can mean anything big or small, I find happiness and comfort in the smile and hugs from my 20month old daughter,

Have your reported the abuse? Because talking from experience the only way you will ever feel free is by telling the world what happened to you. And finding happiness well it can mean anything big or small, I find happiness and comfort in the smile and hugs from my 20month old daughter, I don't earn much but enough to go by but if it wasn't for her then my life would be more of an existence rather then a living. I like to think of things I have got and to be honest I have a lot more then some people for a start I have a roof over my head food on my plate and a wonderful little girl and I am so grateful just for that because it could be a lot worse. Maybe its time for you to open up let it out and fight it. Because if you hold on to the pass you'll ever live, If I held on to everything in my past I wouldn't be the person I am today in fact its made me a better person and a stronger one at that.

He didn't get much time in prison three years in fact he was out after one and a half but that's another story and it was worth reliving the pain because now I'm free he was punished and I'm glad I stepped forward.