I'm 18 and my girlfriend is 17, we have been together for about 3/4 months now. Her friends take the piss out of her because she is a virgin which I hate but daren't say anything. I said to her saying there is no rush and not to listen to her friends, she was happy with what I said and admitted it does get to her sometimes because of what her friends say.
We really love each other and I don't care if I have to wait until we are married until we have sex but somehow I don't think that is going to happen because we see each other regularly and we are always kissing and cuddling each other very passionately and have opportunities to have sex but none of us will make the first move. I don't want to make the first move until I know she is ready but I feel daft bringing the subject up to her.

What should I do?
I don't want to mention the fact that I don't mind waiting until marriage before sex because the word 'marriage' could possibly freak her out lol.
Should I just go with the flow and wait until she makes the first move?
If so, I won't be prepared (i.e have a condom handy) because I don't know if/when she is to make a move.
By the way I'm not saying she should make the first move I'm just trying to look at all the options, that's why I have come to seek you're advice.

Thanks in advance.

Wait till she's ready, she will let you know when she is. Just enjoy the relationship as it is now, you have plenty of time for the rest.

I think the best thing to do is to talk to her about it. It may uncomfortable asking her but it won't be as uncomfortable as making a move when she doesn't want you to. If you are willing to have sex with her than you should be willing to talk to her about sex.

You should always have a condom (or two) on you.
And Yes I agree with
sabrewolfe, that you should just wait until both of you are sure you are ready. It's a big step in your relationship. After all, you haven't been dating for very long. And the more you know, and feel comfortable with one another, the love will be so much stronger and enjoyable. It will hold more meaning. That's what, Im sure, you would both want.
Nothing wrong about waiting until marriage though. You have a strong moral conscience and that's something to be admired. She might want to save herself for marriage, and you seem like a very understanding person. That could be one of the reasons she likes you so much... But always be prepared, It is only being smart and responsible at any age.

You haven't know each other very long, but I reckon talk about it.

At least you'll get a sense of what her beliefs are around sex, if any, and you'll start the process of feeling comfortable discussing it with her.

If you're getting into the heavy petting, then a condom should always be in your pocket, but sabrewolf is right - it's her call as to when it happens.

Just as an aside, I wouldn't be talking about marriage at this point. You're both young and have known each other such a short time - you've got heaps and heaps of things to experience yet!

You need to sit down and discuss the situation with her. You need to be certain that she isn't thinking about having sex just to shut her 'friends' up. Giving into peer pressure is a good way for her to end up regretting it.

It's great that you want to wait!

I really REALLY think that I'm morally obligated to point out that if she'd freak about marriage, she'd freak even MORE about "pregnant".

There are plenty of things to do to satisfy each other without sex--and frankly, if you can't get your partner off WITHOUT intercourse, you probably shouldn't have intercourse anyway.

Have a discussion about it, but I HIGHLY recommend just PLANNING on not having sex until you're both ready for kids.

If you respect her, show it to her by waiting. Like has been mentioned, a very possible side effect of losing that are kids. THat would ruin you r life real quick at this stage wouldn't it.

As Synnen mentioned... work on the relationship first. At your age sex distracts your attention from all the important stuff. The stuff you need to be happy with when the appeal of new girl sex wears off, and trust me.. IT DOES wear off. If there is nothing there and a kid happens. Well consider your days of having fun ended as YOU will be working to support the kid you created.

If its really love and not lust... you can have a nice family. But more times than not when you aren't already married... its going to be anything BUT fun and good times.

Working on the relationship is a better idea.

At least try to starve off the sex act until she is 18.

I agree you should talk to her about it, especially since you've noted that passionate interludes have already taken place, and one thing leads to another... ;)

Be straight with her. Tell her that you will not initiate intercourse, and you are happy to wait until she tells you she's ready. That way, it takes the pressure off you to guess, and the pressure off her to to have sex.

She may think that you will be expecting it sooner rather than later (pressure on herself, but again she's guessing), or pressure as someone has pointed out to just get it over with because her friends are pressuring her.

Both of you should be crystal clear about sex. When you talk about it, it is one more step in going in the right, responsible direction. Take the guesswork out of it, and you will both feel better, and likely relieved that that issue is resolved. Also that will bring confidence and security to your future with her, because she can trust you at your word.

Wow thanks for all of you're advice.

I have told her that there is no rush, but only in a text, this is a subject I'm very shy about with girls and would find it extremely difficult to bring up the subject in person just out of the blue.
Her friends have bf's and have sex and talk to her about it sometimes and I don't want her to have sex with me through the influence of her friends.

Of course I respect her, I love her.

If it does end up happening soon, I will ask her if she's ready and that I don't mind waiting (but could this make her feel that I don't want sex with her?) and also that she isn't doing it because of what her friends are saying. I want her to know the possible consequences too, like a few of you have said, "pregnancy". There's always a possibility but if I mention this it could lead to the "could this make her feel I don't want sex with her" again. I don't want to put her off and at the same time I don't want to encourage her, I want her to decide.
Do you think I'm worrying too much about this?
It's her friends what have triggered it off by calling her virgin and stuff, plus she admitted what they say plays on her mind and she's feels slightly pressured.

By the way I'm not planning on proposing to her any time soon don't worry lol.

We are extremely happy as we are now and I don't want anything to change, we are eachother's first love and are very happy together.

Thanks people :)

If you are too shy to have a face to face conversation about sex, then you are not ready to have sex with her.

If you think of it that way, what you have done so far is enough. You have appropriately let her know that you would never pressure her, and she knows where you stand.

At some point down the road, when it becomes obvious that sex is going to happen, by that time, you will be comfortable enough to also talk turkey with her about it.

So, for now, I say, yes, you are worried too much about this. Enjoy the journey more, and worry about the milestones less.

And a solid point everyone has to remember. Having sex means you might get pregnant. And trust me, we have several members here, and at least one moderator, that got pregnant on the pill, using condomes AND spermacide all at the SAME time.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by smoothy

And a solid point everyone has to remember. Having sex means you might get pregnant. And trust me, we have several members here, and at least one moderator, that got pregnant on the pill, using condomes AND spermacide all at the SAME time.

---

We even have an expert who has fathered 2 kids after a vasectomy. They can heal. Don't even think about having sex with anyone unless you're ready to spend the rest of your life with them.

Fellas like you are few and its lovely she's founds a guy willing to wait and respects her so much and your very mature too. Don't allow her friends to push her into feeling she has to have sex with you because they take the micky she needs to feel ready and yes be wise and keep a rubber with you it shows thought you don't want to get her up the duff the first time she has sex now do you. And yeah I think it would be a good idea to show her how serious you are about waiting by telling her you'd wait till the day you married her if it meant doing that it shows commitment and tell her you have her best interests at heart and that you will start by carrying a rubber in your pocket so if she feels ready she only has to say and your prepared at the end of the day sex isn't everything she shouldn't feel pressured into anything. These don't sound like real friends to me.

Wait. She seems to not ready for sex yet. Take it easy every time you kiss get a little closser to het intell your ready or better yet intell she's ready. Thing about it do YOU really WANT to have sex it could be that she may just not be the one for you take it slow and easy and see what's happens