Ask Me Help Desk - I want to be adopted

I'm 14 and I'm not very happy with my family where I'm at. My mom is bipolar and she's hard to deal with. She has her mood swings and she sleeps all day sometime and then sometimes she stays up all night. She takes her emotions out on us especially when she doesn't talk to her boyfriend. She and my sister fight like crazy now since my mom can't fight my dad anymore. My dad on the other hand has been pushing me away ever since he got remarried. He spends his time with his new family and hunts and does civil war reenactments. I'm just looking for an answer to what I should I do. I want to be adopted so I won't have to deal with this anymore. Please point me in the right direction!

Sorry does not work like that, have you discussed being able to move in with dad?

To be adopted both mom and dad would have to agree and sign their rights over to allow someone to adopt you

First of all, it sounds like you are going through normal teen angst. You just don't throw your family away over things like you describe.

Most families want to adopt younger children, so you are really not of adoptable age. It would be very much a long shot to find someone to adopt you, especially under the circumstances. Who would want a teenager willing to just throw their family away.

Also you can't just declare yourself adoptable. Your parents (both of them) would have to agree to any adoption, in the unlikely event someone could be found willing to adopt you.

So what I'm going to suggest is that you talk to a counselor at your school. Tell them the problems you are having. They can help you deal with them. They may get social services involved to monitor your home situation. That's where you start.

Quote:

Originally Posted by murwil57

I'm 14 and I'm not very happy with my family where im at. My mom is bipolar and shes hard to deal with. She has her mood swings and she sleeps all day sometime and then sometimes she stays up all night. She takes her emotions out on us especially when she doesn't talk to her boyfriend. She and my sister fight like crazy now since my mom can't fight my dad anymore. My dad on the other hand has been pushing me away ever since he got remarried. He spends his time with his new family and hunts and does civil war reenactments. I'm just looking for an answer to what i should i do. I want to be adopted so i won't have to deal with this anymore. Please point me in the right direction!!

Just for the records - no one is happy with their families. Mom is always emotional and anal retentive and Dad's are the usual not there's (working or other family relations). You have gone through a lot. Divorce. It can do a lot to a kid and adjustment to the new family (dad spending his time with the new family) can leave you hurt, neglected and angry. Your mother is probably going through some physical issues along with her emotional ones. Has it occurred to you that she could be menopausal? This is a medical issue. If she is not then try to help her out and do what she say's and see what happens (chances are the leash will get longer). You are also responsible for your relationships. Your dad is doing something wrong... he shouldn't ignore you... so what are some other options?

1) You can continue to be where you are or you can do something about it?
2) You can try to help your mom (give yourself some freedom in the process)?
3) Stay out of the sister to sister disputes (they will eventually work it out - don't be involved... set an example)?
4) You can also become involved with your NEW family (enjoy getting to know them and becoming family)?

My husbands parents divorced... the mom is still lost emotionally/physically but she is a wonderful person and we do everything we can to help her (make her happy). His dad and his new family is our family and our children extended family (wonderful get together's).

Only YOU have the power to change how YOU think and how YOU approach the issue! Your family will always be your family - YOU CAN'T CHOOSE FAMILY - but YOU CAN choose how you deal with them.

I wish we could choose our families... but we don't... even if we did... you still can't change your issues unless you change yourself and how you deal with them. I am sorry for your suffering.

I feel for you! I would rather have a root canal or a c-section than be 14 again!

Now, it's time you take back your power. Name two things you can do to improve your home situation. (I have at least ten in mind, but let's see what you come up with before I tell you my ideas.)

OK, thanks for the help that I've asked 4, but I'm going 2 put my faith in god, you don't have 2 leave anymore comments

Quote:

Originally Posted by murwil57

ok, thanx 4 the help tht ive asked 4, but im jus goin 2 put my faith in god, u dnt have 2 leave anymore comments

Unfortunately, it is all up to you; how you handle things. What kind of answers where you looking for that wouldn't support your question? That we shouldn't comment?

Quote:

Originally Posted by murwil57

OK, thanks for the help that I've asked 4, but I'm going 2 put my faith in god, you don't have 2 leave anymore comments

I wish you the best of luck, but please, no more text speak, it's part of the terms of agreement.

Here
Try this!

Quote:

Okay, thanks for the help that I've asked for, but I'm just going to put my faith in god, you don't have to leave anymore comments.

Quote:

Originally Posted by murwil57

ok, thanx 4 the help tht ive asked 4, but im jus goin 2 put my faith in god, u dnt have 2 leave anymore comments

First, no chat speak. You showed that you're capable of writing complete words, so do so. Some of us are old and don't have the time or patience to decode chat speak.

Second, it's not up to you whether we respond. This thread is now the property of AMHD and as such it will continue until people either stop wanting to post or the mods close it. This topic does come up here on occasion and I think others can learn from it so it's best to keep the thread going and let others comment. Also, you may get help from others answers, so don't be so quick to walk away.

At 14 you have so many things going on. You think you're an adult, but you're only a child. You are starting to distance yourself from your parents while wanting to maintain them. I remember being 14, it was hell. Like Wondergirl said, I wouldn't do it again for anything.

Here's the thing. You won't be 14 forever. In 4 years you're legally old enough to leave and be on your own, if you still want to be.

As Scott said, you aren't at the desired age for adoption. Most people want to adopt infants, not troubled teenagers. Also, both of your parents would have to agree to give you up and I doubt that they're going to do that.

The ball is in your court kiddo. What are you going to do with it?