This is the email I got from her.. im just wondering if I still have a chance to win her back, or what does it mean? Even though she isn't dating another guy, but they do spend a lot of time together.. when I asked her, she says they "just friends"..

Hey...
Well I'm abit bleak at the moment and just wanted to say hi... I see you are doing reli well for yourself! An I'm very proud of you.. semms kind of like a slap in the face a bit though haha, like now that I'm not there with you you start to shine.. hope I wasn't the reason you held back... miss the good times together.
I still love yo sven. Have a good day..
Love me xx

Some feelings for you could be coming up again. If you want what's best for her, for her boyfriend, and for yourself, you would stop all contact with her, and ignore this email. I wouldn't try to "get her back." She is with someone else, so trying to get her back would be very dishonest and cruel to her and her boyfriend. Leave them alone. Love is commitment, this girl wasn't committed, and you were not committed, therefore, she does not "love" you, and you do not "love" her.

Naaah. She's just feeling annoyed because you're doing OK and she's not. It's called regrets - but I wouldn't go back. Go forward, it's the only way.

We broke up, becoz I never cheated on her physically with sum2 else bt we did have "facebook sex" if you want to call it that..
When we broke up, we didn't see aechother from about 3 weeks, then all of a sudden she is making changes in her kife, reali trying to win me back, bt I wasn't readi, I hadn't sorted my head out and didn't know what I wanted.. so we always argued about things and she was always pressuring me in to tell her 'What I wanted'.. bt I wasn't shaw myself.. so I didn't contact her for 2 weeks, to reali think about things and to find out what I reali wanted.. in those two weeks, I find out there is this new guy in her life, so I confronted her and she says thae just friends, so I left it at that.. bt I know that she has moved on and I never got that chance to show her I still loved her.. so I text her and said.. "i respect and accept that you have moved on,I thank you for the great memories we shared and hope you dreams come true.I wish you the best in your new relationship..
I know I left her hanging for a while, after a realised that I still loved her.. we still text each other and leave messages on Facebook.. even though its been 5 months that we broken up, isn't there any way I can still show her I care and that I would like another chance?

OK this is the story maybe this will help..

This is the situation I am in at the moment and could do with any form of help I can get..

We lived together and it was great always being around her we had been dating for 2 and a half years.. my girlfriend and I broke up in the beginning of August, we fort and argued but I always cared for her and I knew she did as well.she would invite me around to still have suppa and reali tried to change everything and I appreciated every biit of it.But even with all this trying from her side I never responed the way I should have.I just wanted my space to tink about everything, I had to move out and find a place to stay tempary, until I had found my own place.. during this time I never stopped thinking about her or loving her all I neede was some space to realise the better things in life and to sort my own head out.. during this time, she would go to her friend and never stop talking about me and crying etc.. I would go around when she wasn't there and leave little note with a picture of us, telling that I was sorry and that I love her.. things startd to change for the better, but we still argued and fort about, " how i have changed and that she just wants to know what i want" so I ignored her, to reali think about things and to work out what will make me happy.so I didn't hear from her for about 2 weeks.. After those 2 weeks I discover she has a new guy in her life.. so confrount her and ask her what is going on betwwen them.. she she's they just friends.. that same night, I explained EVERYTHING to her about "How i felt, What i Needed and that i had sort out my inner issues"We had a reli good chat about everything and I felt that we it was a step in the rite direction.. she smsed me and told me "she was sad it was over nw, i hope you reali know how much i love you and how much i hope we can someday be together again..so have you fun now angel and when we are both truely ready we will find eachother again.U have my heart always love you forever..that made me feel beter that she still had feelings for me.so i tryed everything to make her come back to me..nothing worked.Although she has met this new guy and she says they just friends, she is at his house ALL the time and they spend Every weekend together..I di get upset and did the wrong thing by trying to tell her "She is better than a Rebound".becoz this new guy had also recently broken up with his ex. we argued bout it and she just says they friends, but it was hard to believe..so i asked her out to coffee, to catch up..it went well, we chatted bout random things, and i never touched on any subject to do with us or them..I simply wanted to see her again and catch up..we it came to syaing goodbye, we hugged and as she sat in her car, i kneeled down and said, "I don't want to be friends with you, because I don't want to substitute it for a real relationship etc"..that ovuasly meant something, becoz the next day at gym, she told her mate," that she had a lot to thing about" so i left it at that and didnt contact her or reply to any of her msgs on Facebook or give any response to her..that lasted a week, i smsed her to tell her i had something important to tell her and she wanted to know what it was..i didnt tell her until a few days later..I got accepted in an electrical engineering scholl, she smsed me back and told me "she was Proud of me and that I hope I make the best of this opotunity etc. Great! Bt it still didn't change the fact that I wanted toshow her I was being strong about everything.. that same evening, week ago, I smsed her and said "Irespect and Aceept that you have moved on.I thank you for all the amzing memories we shared and hope your dreams come true, i wish you the best in your new relationship..she replyed about a hour later saying "I don't know why, bt that message brought tears to my eyes" so i said " you know I will always care for you princess.. im sorry Itook my time to realise I still loved you.. I want you to be hapi and I have to accept that you have moved on.. stay safe.. the next evening, I check my fb account, to see there there is a message from her saying "

Hey...
Well I'm abit bleak at the moment and just wanted to say hi... I see you are doing reli well for yourself! An I'm very proud of you.. semms kind of like a slap in the face a bit though haha, like now that I'm not there with you you start to shine.. hope I wasn't the reason you held back... miss the good times together.
I still love yo sven. Have a good day..
Love me xx

What does that mean? What do I do now? How can make her want me back again? I would reali like another chance..

So I replyed with a long message, telling her that she must always keep her eyes on her goals and that all I ever wanted was to make her feel the way I didthe night I asked her out. And that I will accept that she has moved on.

At the moment.. ive benn keeping my head busy at work and trying not think of her being with this new guy.its tough bt I reali would like some help to win her back and even just to start to show what she really means to me..

What do I do?

If you want her back that badly, then just tell her how you feel.

After you tell her, go off and do your own thing because the ball will be on her side of the court. If she felt the same way, she will let you know. If she doesn't reciprocate those feelings, then you can finally move on.

You're just dragging things out by keeping in contact. You either get back together or you don't.

Do I tell her in person, by letter, email? Face to face? Wats best for this situation?

It is better you tell her face to face to make things really clear, write it down if u're afraid to miss some points. Then take the next step from there.

I think it's a clear sign of "wanting what you can't have". I wouldn't pursue it, she's just trying to string you along. If she wanted to go back with you she would say: "I want to get back with you". As simple as that.

I wrote her a letter telling her "how i felt".. when I went around to drop it off, she was home we chatted for about 45 minutes then I left.. we spoke about things that had happened etc etc, because we hadn't seen each other in 3 weeks, because I said I would give her, her space.and not interfere in her new relationship.. we chatted really well nad there was no tension between us.. after I left she sent me text message saying " Your letter realy meant alot to me, thank you! im so honered to have you in my life and still love you very much..this period in our life is tough, but i feel in my heart, we can someday be happi again..sweet dreams xx mwah xx"... I didn't reply to it.I left it as is.. is this mixed signals or what does it mean?

Wow, that's stringing 101. Didn't we say to apply NC? So not only she didn't leave that guy for you, she's keeping you as a "close" friend, just in case, and you felt for it. So while she is dating around and swimming to see what other potential fish there is, you're just waiting there and you're just following her. This is actually horrible what she is doing, and it's even worse because you're falling for it.

This isn't mixed signals if you understand her signals. It's clear a hundred mile away what she wants (stringing you along). If you actually want to be happy again, then apply NC ASAP.

You've done your part. You've told her how you felt. Give her some time to digest what you said.

You don't need to over-analyze what she says, because if she feels the same way, she will clearly let you know. If she doesn't clearly state anything, then you can take it as a sign that she wants to go her separate way, but she's letting you down easy.

You don't need her to outright tell you that she doesn't feel the same way. That would be harsh on her part.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by dubsteppa007

...she isnt dating another guy, but they do spend alot of time together..when i asked her, she says they "just friends"..

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Are you familiar with Biz Markie?

"Oh baby you, you got what I need/But you say he just a friend,/And you say he just friend..."

He's obviously not "just a friend". She tells you she loves you so she can have her choice between you and this new guy. It feels good when you're the center of a attention 'cause it gives you power, and this is exactly what she wants. Everything she's telling you is completely self-serving, don't fall for it.

Don't contact her anymore.

When this kind of drama happens, the best thing you can do is no contact. You have told her how you feel, now you shouldn't submit to the leash she wants to put on you. You need to stay in control of your own love life, and close friendships, and leave her out of it; she wants to be in control and keep you close in case she needs a "shoulder to cry on." Don't fall for it. Get out while you still can!

Wow! Now I'm really confused..
I applied the no contact rule and didn't hear any thing her her.. cool.bt she still made little coments about photos of me on Facebook and like my status's etc.. bt I didn't reply.. over the past cuple weeks I've changed my life around, by not siiting at home sulking.. going out with my mates etc. getting my haircut, working on losing sum weight and I'm starting to feel good about myself again.. I know its hasn't been a no contact period, bt I haven't been pestering her with text messages or emails and onli reply if I have to.. we went and bought me a xmas present the other day and phone to ask if I was home.. bt I wasn't, iwas out with my mates.. bt I told her when she wants to come around.. she must let me know.. all good.. so there hasn't been any tention or vibes.. bt lately because I've been feeling good about myself, I've been making my staus's on Facebook, all positive.. how good a evening I've had and anything positive,I've made my status.. im not shaw, bt I think there has been an argument with her and her new guy.. but haven't questioned her becoz its got nothing to do with me.. so I think she is going though a tough time.. and I know so, because of her work and all the drama that's happened between us.. but I haven't pestered her.. I want to be there to support her, but I'm also giving her, her space.lastnite, she sents me a message on Facebook saying..

Hey, how you?
Just want to say that its reli great that your life s going reli smoothly! I'm very happy for you.
I no this will sound weird, prob because I'm just havn a bas week, but maby we should delete each other from Facebook? It may sound strange but and stupid but I just don't reli feel like coping with everything at once.
Hope you having a good evening.
Xx

And so I replyed...

Hey
OK.. I know you are going through a tough time,with everiting at the moment.I know it may fl as though,it will neva end.. 4 wateva the reasons that you are having a bad week or in general having a kak period in your life.U and to undastand that,I'm going through the same tings.. I still miss you and tink about you everiday,bt that doesn't mean that what you c on fb or read wereva,that my life is al rosy.. Its not! I've taken sum time off to myself.And gone and thort about everiting.I went and sortd my 'head out' bt that doesn't mean my heart isn't feeling beta.. U reali and to go and do the same for yourself.Its a temporary ting.. Everi evenin,when I go 4 my run.Its alone time for me and it lets my process everiting.U and to do the same or find sumtin that you cn do to tink about things..
You are an amazing person leanne.I cnt hold you bk frm doing wateva you want.. With al this that is going on,I'm nt ignoring u,I'm simply giving you your space that you wantd.I don't mean to add to your stress,with my letter or anyting along those lines.. I neva c or hear frm u,so a letter was the onli way I could get that little message across to about how I felt..
So please do yourself a favour and go and do sumting alone.If its walk to the end of pier or a run at gym.. It will help you sort your head out.. Becoz I'm shaw we both would like this al to go away,and make things beta.. I have hope that you cn do sumting,that you cn tink clearly.. I know its hard.Bt we cn meet in the middle.. Have beta day.Hope you nt as sunburnt.. Xx

And then she replyed..

Wateva sven, I just don't need to see that your little life is so perfecty now that I'm gone. An quite frankly I can see that something's yo tell me are lies. I'm happy for you, don't get me wrong, but I reli don't need to see all your happines ryt now. Its nt yor fault, but I'm just over feeling like this. I'm glad you had a nice evening with my friends. Just seems like you were only unhappy when you wer with me.if that's the case then fine. I'm just tired of seeing you status's and how joyful you are. I reli don't need that in my life to.

So I replyed...

On.. My life,is nowhere frm being perfect.I am also unhapi,believe me.I still have this empty feeling in my stomach everiday.. I still tink about you when I wake up,and through out the day until I fall aslp.. Everiting I've told u,is the truth.I miss you and was hapi when I was with u.The onli reason,u c my status's being 'hapi' is becoz I'm trying to show u,'wud you ratha be with guy,u sits in the courner and sulks,or would you ratha be with a guy,who wants to show u,that he cn be excitin and have fun.. 'Becoz that's what I want for the both of us together.. Is excitement and fun.. I would want you around me al the time,the way it was.Bt I would also like to show,that we cn have fun together.. I want u 2 undastand that,I Reali Miss u.. And would like anuda chance to brin that excitement bk into our lives.. I wudnt lye to u,about anytin that I wudve said.That would be cruel.. I know you nt hapi.Bt let me bring hapiness bk into your life.. I cn onli show you the inprovements that I have made in my life,for the both of us..
I wuda lovd to have you here lastnite.Bt I don't know what you do or what your plans r..
I reali miss you and your company.

I know its probably a sign of regret and that I know she doesn't know what she wants.. this is all really confusing..

Bt then she sents me text saying...

Hey,look I sent that message when I was upsep, I'm sorry.. I will see you this week, to some drop off your present.. mwah xx

Ah.. what the hell do I do now?

That was very difficult to read.. all the text speak!

How can you live with all this drama and headache...

Move on.. your both going around in circles.. its over, the relationship is over... did you both forget that!

She's treating you like an emotional puke bag... ' I'm feeling fed up and sven is having a good time,I think ill just make hm feel bad too' bloody hell.

It sounds like a teenage relationship.

Move on.

Hahaha! I know its ridiculous.. sorry for all the spelling mistakes..

She is.. she is just playing mind games with me.. I know she wants me back, bt she also won't say so.its as though she is trying to get me back.. im shaw it must be hard for her, with me seeming psoitive all the time.. bt I don't have to stay in my room and sulk.. she brought this on herself.if she wanted to sort it out.. she would made a plan.. hahaha.. shes the one who needs to realise what she wants. And that one one day, when she does or her life is upside down.. shes going to realise that she missed a good thing. (me).. shes very stubburn and won't look it this ant other way than her way.so I guess she can only learn by herself..

I think you hit the nail on the head...

She can only see it for her self..

Go no contact,let her think,if her being stubborn is a factor and she does not try to control that,its going to effect her life more then just in relationships..

Keep being positive and keep no contact,move on wards and forwards with your life, the relationship is a mire of confusion...

Don't enable her in her indecision.

Give her lots and lots of space.

Hey all... wow! Now I'm reali confused.. ive gone without contact for a few weeks.. al has been well.. ive accepted that she has moved on and that she is hapi.. bla bla bla..

Now I get home from work, to see a text message, from her saying " u must get such a thrill from ripping my heart to shreds.gosh i cnt believe i ever trusted u to keep me safe and loved. inever wwnt to see u again. u got wat u wanted, my hearts in pieces..so i was ok..wat the hell is going on..iv havent done anything to get such nausty msg and ive done and said everything to tell her how i do care for her etc. bt then i see i have another msg from her friend that me and her have stayd in contact with, becoz she was my friend at skewl and best friends with my ex saying .. " I don't know what is going on, bt apprently I have been speaking to you on Facebook, about leanne.so now leanne and I arnt friends nw.. so I've deleted you from Facebook.. so do me a favour and not talk to me sorry... firstly, I've we haven't said anything a but guud things to about leanne and that I don't know what the hell to do.. I don't want to ex see my ex again... we shared a lot together to just throw it all away and I now I'm losing my friends.. wat to do? What to do?

Relax,some people handle breakups quite badly,your ex is one of them.

If your friends know you,they will still be your friends,if not and they take sides, they were not really your friend to begin with.

Ignore the tears and the drama,continue with no contact and steer clear of her.

By the way,Facebook,bebo,myspace etc, are relationship disaster sites.