Ok so me and my boyfriend have been dating for about 8 months now. For a couple months, around our 4 months/5 months, I didn't feel the butterflies anymore, and was deciding on whether I should dump him, or continue dating him to see if it was just a rough patch. Now in the present time, I feel totally in love with him, and I am so completely afraid of losing him and worried that he will leave me so I will ask him questions like, Do you still love me? Or Your not sick of me yet are you? (he has done nothing wrong that should make me believe that he would be leaving me anytime soon) So now I'm worried that I'm becoming to smothering or something, like I'm freaking out over nothing. Is this normal for someone when they love someone to be afraid of the loved one to leave all the time for no reason at all??

Heyy, wel firstly I think your stressing and worrying about nothing, you love him wich is great and if you won't to ask him a question like that then do it, nothing is stopping you from it and if he loves you , he will totaolly understand. But try to chill :)

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Originally Posted by britEl

Is this normal for someone when they love someone to be afraid of the loved one to leave all the time for no reason at all???

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If you keep on like this, you are going to drive him away. Take the relationship a day at a time and enjoy every minute of it. Meanwhile, work on your self-esteem and confidence. If you need ideas for that, let me know.

Its possible your insecurities are caused from your own lack of commitment to the relationship.

If I were you I would consider the flip-flopping to be my own,and try to leave it at that.
He has not done anything that you said to cause this so it is entirely your doing right?

Have more confidence in yourself.

Well, honestly, enjoy the moment... moment by moment! If you are having doubts that is fairly normal because you are assessing your feelings and trying to give validity to your feelings as you "feel" them. You seem very in tune with your feelings but sometimes they get in the way of logical thought... so... its logistics vs. thinking! Since I just said that, follow your intuition... for some reason or another you are feeling uncomfortable... if that is the case it is okay for you to pull back for a short brake to give true meanings to what it it is your "feeling". As long as the feeling is mutual - I would say go with it and enjoy the experience. Remember the song "Love is like a rollercoster" by the Red Hot Chili Peppers? If there are too many highs and lows so early... then I would suggest pulling back... an earthy girl always needs to go back to her roots.

I am committed in the relationship, before I wasn't sure if I still wanted to be with him because he would do what I am now doing to him. I have been trying to stop asking him if he loves me and bugging him about it because he has made it clear that he loves me. But I still feel anxious to get his texts/phone calls or worried he won't text back, and when we hang out I will do anything to make him happy

The bottom line is that if someone is going to leave you ,no amount of your clinging and worrying is going to change that.

You might as well enjoy the relationship,be yourself and don't be needy.Clingy and needy is never an attractive trait.

It is normal to fear the loss of a relationship but not to the point where it becomes an obsession.Face that fear and try to understand it and then you may be able to stop it.

That indicates that you are putting all your faith in another person.

Put that faith in yourself.Have confidence in yourself and know that even if he were to leave you tomorrow,you would survive.

It is never a good idea to make someone such a priority in your life that you would feel unable to cope if it didn't work out.

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Originally Posted by britEl

I am committed in the relationship, before i wasn't sure if i still wanted to be with him because he would do what i am now doing to him. I have been trying to stop asking him if he loves me and bugging him about it because he has made it clear that he loves me. but i still feel anxious to get his texts/phone calls or worried he wont text back, and when we hang out i will do anything to make him happy

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Okay, firstly you need to get a grip... you should be the one in control? What I mean by that is you should be reserved and keep him guessing. Don't tell him how you feel or even what you are thinking. You should not feel nervous in love but rather comfortable being "YOU". Can you do that? If not, he isn't right for you.

I do understand, and I am going to try and 'get a grip' although it is easier said then done, but I have seen how unattractive it is to be clingy, and obsessive, and I do NOT want to become that, I want to depend less on him and more on myself, and not become that stupid clingy smothering girlfriend. I have been assessing my actions, and feel that they have unnecessary. Thanks for the help guys, you have showed me how absolutely ridiculous I seem right now!

Relax, your just learning to deal with your feelings in a positive way, and it's a process, and takes time. Start with loving yourself, so you can share the love with others, and not your fears, and insecurities.

Its easy to get carried away, so think before you act, or speak, and don't put your happiness in someone else's hands, that's your responsibility to yourself.

Ok so I feel very insecure about my body, and I understand: I need more self confidence bla bla blaah (its easier said then done my friends). So my boyfriend of 8 months doesn't understand that I feel insecure about my body and says, "you shouldn't feel insecure about that around me we have been dating 8 months" and I tell him that its not him its how I see myself and judge myself and I don't like it. (again I understand the more I need more self confidence thinggg!) anyway my question is, is it wrong for me to feel insecure about my body and is my boyfriend right, or is it just everyone has insecurities and we eventually get over them?

Yes ma'am, he was right. Think about it, how could a guy as cool as him (I'm pretending to think what you might think) actually really like you if you're right about how you see yourself?

My boyfriend has insecurities too... To the point that he's getting bulimic/anorexic... I realized that there's no real cure, unless he wants to overcome it. All I can really do is be there for him.

I kind of made him feel better, I buy him personal care stuff... He likes it.

In conclusion... Insecurities are okay as long as you don't bring it up too often (you might sound like you're fishing for compliments) and as long as you DO get over it soon (it's destructive), but a makeover won't hurt either. :)

Cute suggestions Sylvanta Sybil. Honestly, your boyfriend does understand that you are insecure. Simply put, the way he is dealing with it is not pleasing to you. Have you asked yourself: Do I have reason to be insecure? How did you get to that weight in the 1st place. Are you healthy? Is your insecurity preventing you from accomplishing goals. Do you use it as an excuse? Pertinent question all of these are. Does feeling insecure get you want you want. You're getting something out of it. You decide, your boyfriend isn't leading your life. Are you though? Are you leading your life or is your insecurity?

Ok so me and my boyfriend are going on 8 months now. Lately I have been feeling very off and have been paranoid that he does not love me anymore. He used to call me all throughout the day and does not anymore, he used to text me all throughout the day and has stopped doing that as well. The other day I invited him over to my house and he didn't even respond to my text and would not answer his phone. Today he just simply did not want to hang out, even after the fact that his house was empty for the weekend. I tried phoning and he won't answer. I am afraid for the worst and feel like I'm having a heartbreak even while I'm still dating him, I have this feeling that I'm going into heartbreak, I have had this feeling before and this is what I'm feeling right now. I just don't know if he's drifting away from me or if its just the fact that we have been dating for 8 months. I really need some advice, 3 nights in a row I cried and felt hysterical till I fell asleep. I really need someone to talk to about this, I feel so alone.

It hurts like hell. But you'll live. Time will pass... and that's all any of us know for the time being. I've had my heart ripped out stomped on spit on and set on fire by the ONLY guy I've ever loved and maybe ever will love. But I'm OK now. OKAY. I'm not crying myself to sleep anymore I'm just living. It's alll I can do. Yes being alone sucks.

We're still dating now that's the problem he tells me he loves me he says things that should convince me but I just have this feeling that I don't I just have this feeling he's lying to me and when all of the sudden this happens it really scares me and I really can't deal with heartbreak again, I just reallyy cant.

You talk to him about it?. ughh sorry but guys are severely disgusting to me right now!! Ah!

Kind of I ask him why he stopped doing all that stuff and said because he thought he was bugging me.. and I told him NO I loved it.. so for the rest of the day he did it, then he just stopped up to today.

Yea that happened with my ex all the time I'd say I love when you text me all day and call me and he's say he felt like it bugged me.. but it made my day. I felt empty ifi didn't hear from him during the day. It made me feel like I'm not running through his mind as much as he was running through mine. Always too "busy" I started to feel really un important in his life =[

Exactly! But after asking him why all the time I'm starting to feel like I'm acting 'desperate' but I'm not I'm just really afraid and paranoid that he's going to leave me or something