Ask Me Help Desk - Anal sex

Anal sex

Me and my boyfriend are looking to try anal sex for the first time.
We've experimented a little in that area - I enjoy a finger inserted in my anus during vaginal intercourse. We've discussed it, and even researched in to how to do it in a safe and painless way. I trust my boyfriend, and know I'll be in full control of the situation.

So what's the problem? Well my main concern is actually feces. It being what the anus is actually for and all. The thought of my boyfriend pulling out and having fecal matter on him (even the tiniest bit) is what is putting me off.

Does anyone have any suggestions/tips? Are enema's/douches or laxatives something to consider? Or is a good wash after going to the toilet enough?

I'm sorry to be so blunt - but there really is no way to dress this up.
Gm

Would you mind stating your ages?

In general, if it's off-putting, don't do it. Sexual communion should be a growing closer, worry about "ick" factors detracts from that.

Sure - I'm 24 he's 29

Quote:

Originally Posted by geordiemouse

Sure - I'm 24 he's 29

I don't mean to pry but around the Holidays lots of kids go to anything that says "adult" to try for a thrill.

If you're very serious about trying this, consider including enemas in your foreplay. The pharmacy sells pre-mixed and measured kits to avoid mess.

If digital stimulation excites you, does the possibility of "dirty fingers" cause any anxiety? What's different about his penis other than size?

Ah okay - fear not. This is a genuine concern, I'm definitely not an adolescent looking for thrills. I do understand your skepticism though - being this time of year.

Initially, having my boyfriend use his finger was a cause for a little anxiety for me. I'd be lying if I said my above concerns regarding anal intercourse didn't cross my mind when he uses his finger. I guess size must be the big factor for me. His penis would obviously penetrate more deeply.

Gm

Quote:

Originally Posted by geordiemouse

Initially, having my boyfriend use his finger was a cause for a little anxiety for me. I'd be lying if I said my above concerns regarding anal intercourse didn't cross my mind when he uses his finger. I guess size must be the big factor for me. His penis would obviously penetrate more deeply.

Gm

I'll then repeat my generalization and paraphrase the old hippie mantra - If it doesn't feel good, don't do it.

If you're feeling pressured into trying this, you're not growing closer to the guy so this could end up a relationship-killer if he's too insistent. Let him know that before the issue gets too "big" (Sorry for the pun {no I'm not})

It's definitely not a pressure thing. I know if I said no, never, that would be that. As I mentioned, having experimented in that area with fingers and liked it, I would genuinely like to try it. My boyfriend is the only person whom I've been with that I've felt comfortable with to want to try it. My only concern is embarrassing mess.

Gm

The LAST thing you want is laxitives... a loose stool will spoil the fun faster than a kid running into the room mid-stroke. Avoid days when you do have a loose stool. THe plunger action will make a mess those days. But not normally.

Do this, between one and two hours after your last poop is the best time to find the garage empty. Its actually longer than that but until you get to know your own body that's the safest bet.

You can't use too much lube... and by that I mean KY Jelly or one of the other brands.

Work with finger play first... one, then two then three fingers to the knuckle. When you learn to relax enough to do that with NO pain, then you are ready. Proceed slowly... when you manage to get him all in do it slow and when you are able to relax again then he can pick up the pace.

Remember PAIN is not normal and a sign you are pushing too fast, slow down. And NEVER go from the back door to the front door without a fresh condom. You can get a nasty vaginal infection if you do.

Just use an enema, that's what porn stars do. And regardless he should wear a condom.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Catsmine

I don't mean to pry but around the Holidays lots of kids go to anything that says "adult" to try for a thrill.

Yeah I don't get this either.

Quote:

Originally Posted by slapshot_oi

Just use an enema, that's what porn stars do. And regardless he should wear a condom.

Yeah I don't get this either.

THey mean underage kids making posts where they shouldn't. Happens more frequently around holidays when they are off.

Enema's are optional. I think they are a bad idea to use with any regularity. If you choose your times well no less than 30 minutes after a poop, for the next hour and a half or more then you aren't spearing any plums or making any mess. If you just dive in when the mood strikes.. then all bets are off.

Unless you are in a long term, stable, monogomous and faithful marriage, by all means use the raincoat.

I don't know if you will think this sounds gross but with disposable gloves and lube you could check around yourself beforehand just to give yourself peace of mind.

If you choose your times well no less than 30 minutes after a poop, for the next hour and a half or more then you aren't spearing any plums or making any mess.

Oh boy, if this doesn't just turn you on for plunging into anal sex, then I don't know what will?

Yuck. It's the place on your body where you extract, not insert... (yes, I know, it's just my opinion).

Quote:

Originally Posted by bigblack

If you choose your times well no less than 30 minutes after a poop, for the next hour and a half or more then you aren't spearing any plums or making any mess.

Oh boy, if this doesn't just turn you on for plunging into anal sex, then I don't know what will?

Yuck. It's the place on your body where you extract, not insert ... (yes, I know, it's just my opinion).

Less gross that having vaginal intercourse during her period. Less of a mess too. True its all personal choice. But it really is the best time to do it without the fear of a mess that the OP was concerned about. In fact time it like that and there will be very little to no mess. (but still the obligatory wash-up afterwards for the sake of hygine).

And besides, it the garage is otherwise occupied... you aren't going to jam another car into it without a LOT of discomfort. I.E. You can't stuff 10 pounds of potatoes into a 5 pound sack.

I highly suggest getting a copy of "Anal Sex and Health". This will give you all you need to know, both physically and psychologically, to enjoy anal sex. And remember... there is no such thing as too much lube!

Thanks everyone for their input. It's all really helpful - and smoothy I love your analogies!

Thanks
Gm

By now, I hope GeordieMouse will have had anal intercourse, and realised that the pleasure far overtakes any concerns.

But, some years ago, I heard of someone who'd found a simple way to remove faeces, to prepare their rectum for anal sex, discretely, in the privacy of their home, without anyone, at all, knowing that you're doing it.
They planned for a time when they wouldn't be disturbed at home, and ensured they had an empty 2-litre soft drink bottle to hand.
They went to the toilet and tried to bear down as much as possible, without straining, to push any faeces out, that was ready to come out easily.
They then got in the bath (empty), and filled the bottle with a mildly warm mix of hot and cold water.
They then croutched over the bottle, and gentled pressed it to their anus. They then bore down as if defaecating, but squeezed the bottle gently, to push some water up their anus. They then refilled the bottle, and repeated the process as many times as they thought necessary, until they couldn't accept any more water.
The feeling as the water goes in feels weird, and may even be considered pleasureable.
They rubbed their lower abdomen, to massage any contents of their intestines, such that the water would flow around, freeing any faeces from the lining.
Once they were unable to hold the water in any longer, they then sat over the bath plug-hole, and pushed out the water, and any dislodged small amounts of faecal matter.
If they wanted to ensure they did a thorough job, they repeated the process.
Follow this with a good shower or bath, dispose of the bottle in the dustbin, and the job is done - You'll be ready for good clean anal sex, at any time in the next 4-6 hours, without any mess at the time.

I've tried this myself, many times over the years, and it works extremely well. No cost, absolutely no-one knows you've done it, and you can have anal sex in the certain knowledge you're not going to be messy!
Take it from me, both you and your boyfriend will like it!

Don,

I hope you don't take a full 2-liter enema. That could cause all kinds of ruptures and herniations.