I will try to keep this as short as possible, first with some background - basically I just found out that I am pregnant with my second child from a second father. I am 25 years old and I have a six year old daughter. My daughter's father is nowhere to be found and has not been in her life since she was one. The man I am with now I have been with for five years and has been there ever since her father left so he's been the only male role model in my daughter's life, they get along great and love each other very much.

The problem is that my boyfriend (the father of the baby I'm carrying) and I are just plainly not right for each other. I have been considering leaving him for a very long time but have not for various reasons. I feel stuck enough as it is but with a new child there would be no movement whatsoever and I could not leave him, at least not for many years until the child is older. However, he is a very good man, very loyal, I'm comfortable with him and we do on occasion still have fun together.

The thing is I wonder if I have this kid if I will be passing up on finding someone that I could be truly happy with and if I'll pass up on accomplishing my dreams and the life I want to live. Also, if we were to break up which is nearly assured at some point how will I find a man that is okay with me having two kids from two dads? Who would want to be the third? Also, he wants to keep it and spend the rest of his life with me, I am half and half. I do not want to abort it but it seems like the right thing to do... Please help... Thx in advance.

P.S. If I stayed with him I would not be working and I would have all my schooling paid for which is nice but not a great reason to stay with someone or have their kid.

No but having a child does not mean you won't find someone nice, why would you think that.

You have been not deciding to leave for a long time you metion.

I guess the child ( not a IT) has little choice, I wish we could ask the child if they would like to be born or not

How would you explain to the father, and your daughter that you decided not to have this baby? Do you honestly think that you should have an abortion simply because you don't want to feel 'trapped' with the father? What makes you think he wouldn't continue to be a part of the child's life even if you aren't together?

You need to talk to him about it. At the very least he has the right to know that he could potentially be a father.

The father does know and we've been discussing it together since we first found out. He is not 100% sure of what he wants to do but is definitely leaning towards keeping it. He does not feel as though the timing is right based upon the problems in our relationship but he believes that we are meant to be together so thinks we should keep our first child. I however feel as though we're not meant to be together, and I'm having trouble with the idea of bringing a child into all this when him and I will most likely break up eventually anyway. Not to mention that I'm not ready for another child and I don't want to end up resenting it. Also, being a single parent to two children from two fathers whether he helps out or not is not exactly desirable but mostly not something I want to do. And I don't want to be stuck in a relationship I am not happy in and potentially pass up one that I would be more than happy to be in.

Also, though I appreciate the time taken to answer and I enjoy all opinions, in this case people who do not believe in abortion are not helpful to me. I need answers from people that have considered all sides with an open mind and then have reached a conclusion. This is not an open and shut case, there are many variables.
Thank you both for your input though.

I know you just said you don't want to hear peoples opinions who are against abortions but you did post this on a public forum and I can't read this and not say anything. If you thought you didn't want to stay with this man why would you risk getting pregnant? I promise I am really not trying to judge you, but the reasons you've listed above are valid reasons to worry about your future, but not valid reasons to end a pregnancy. You make choices and have consequenses. And if you leave him and find a man that is not okay with you having two children then is that really someone you would want to be with anyway?

Actually, I have no real opinion about abortion either way. I think it's a decision that has to be made on an individual basis by the people involved. I do, however, think it is not something that should be decided lightly.

There are any number of consequences involved with having an abortion. You could lose the ability to ever have another child. You could be injured and require surgery or other medical attention. You could become severely depressed and even suicidal from hormonal imbalances. You may regret the decision for the rest of your life. Your daughter may end up resenting you later in life. Your boyfriend may think that not having the added pressure of raising another child will make you more likely to stay with him. It's impossible to know what will happen and how you, and the people around you, will react to it until it's too late.

I'm not telling you that you should keep the baby. I just think you need to think about it a little more than your first post implied you had. It just seemed like you were making a hasty decision from the little bit of information you gave us.

I'm pro abortion. Hate me if you want to. You were adult enough to know the consequences of sex but if your going to just regret this child and resent him, you may as well get an abortion.

That's just my opinion.

This is a difficult post to answer and be objective,however I will try...

My first piece of advice would be to explore ALL of your options... these would fall mainly into 3 choices.

These are in no order of my own feeling on the subject.

1. have the child and rear him/her.

2. have the child and give that child up for adoption.

3. abortion.

All 3 carry with them difficult decisions and whichever you take you will have to live it.. not me,nor anyone else..

It is good that the father is aware and you are both discussing the situation.

For my own experience,I had 4 children,2 different fathers,I was with each of them for 8 years.

Was it hard on my own.. yes.

Did having children make meeting someone difficult.. no.

I am in a relationship now,I'm 37 and I'm happy.

My personal life is checkered,but I can explain everything!

I made bad choices... and I made good choices.. and I have had to live with the joy of the good ones and the fall out from the bad.

But I made those decisions based on my circumstances at the time and with the information I had at the time.

Whatever you decide, make that decision with all the information available to you.

If you don't want the baby think of adoption once the baby is born. Of course you want to be in a great relationship. Don't you want to be with someone who will accept you and your children no matter how many fathers there are? Don't think if I have another baby will this stop me from getting into a relationship,try thinking of it this way. These are my children I love and God has blessed me with. My children come first and the relationship will follow. In time I will find a man who loves me and my children unconditionally. Like you said the father of this child loves your 6 year old. There are a lot of great men out there. Is it OK to abort a baby that the father may want? I know it's your body but it's not just your baby. Sorry if I sound harsh. I want you to be happy and have the relationship you want but our children has to come first.