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-   -   He loves me but in love with her too (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=420561)

  • Nov 30, 2009, 01:58 AM
    lisa71
    He loves me but in love with her too
    Entire story merged

    I was dumped for a slimmer, fitter model! But he constantly tells me he loves me but that he is in love with her! He wants to be with her but won't let me go. It is tearing me up! What should I do? I can't seem to let go of him! He invites me round to his and jokes about the three of us having a threesome!
  • Nov 30, 2009, 02:07 AM
    amicon
    You move on by realising that this guy's a waste of your time and space.
    He's trying to play you,don't fall into that trap.
    As for his declarations of love-look at his actions,they don't speak of love.
    He dumped you-and by doing that he actually did you a favour.
    Recover from the breakup and ignore the so-and-so.
  • Nov 30, 2009, 02:22 AM
    redhed35

    The louse!

    You deserve to be treated better then this... thats not love.. thats using someone..

    Move on kick him to the curb.. theres plenty of decent guys out there..
  • Dec 1, 2009, 12:08 AM
    Jake2008

    That he can't let go of you, is his problem.

    That you can't let go of him, is your problem.

    You are not chained to the hip to him, or obligated in any way, shape or form, to see him.

    If you choose to get mixed up with him and his new girlfriend, then you deserve any heartache that consequence will have.
  • Dec 1, 2009, 12:10 AM
    JoeCanada76

    He does not love you, but your just a good sex toy for him.

    Your part of the problem. Drop this person like a hot potato. Your getting burned as I write this to you.

    Joe
  • Dec 1, 2009, 12:14 AM
    Alty

    You don't mean anything to him, he's made that very clear. Sadly you're still hoping that he'll love you.

    He's with someone else. He even told you that he's in love with her. The fact that he wants a threesome with you shows me that he only loves himself. He's using you. He's using her. He's a user.

    Why would you want someone like that?

    Go to No Contact, get him out of your life. You don't need a loser like that around. There are plenty of guys out there that will treat you the way you deserve to be treated.

    If you let him continue to use you this way then you have no one to blame but yourself.

    You have choices, so choose to respect yourself.
  • Dec 1, 2009, 12:14 AM
    mudweiser

    Move on.

    Enough said.

    Wait.. he's a jerk. He doesn't deserve you, your time, or tears.
  • Dec 2, 2009, 01:05 AM
    TELITLIKITIS45
    I agree with everyone that's posted comments... He wants what he calls better.. So let him take it.. Just move on and focus on yourself... you will be glad you did.. Its only going to hurt for a while but you will be OK.
  • Dec 2, 2009, 04:00 PM
    talaniman

    I hope you can get to the point that you love yourself more than you love him, because he doesn't love you at all. He said so with his actions, which speak loud and clear.
  • Dec 2, 2009, 07:21 PM
    Gemini54
    Well lisa, I'm only going to repeat what eveyone else has said -I figure if you read it often enough it will sink in.

    You know what you have to do - do you think we'd encourage you to have a threesome with a jerk and his fitter, younger bimbo?

    They guy's a f**ck wit - I mean really, do yourself a favor and tell him to f**k off then cut all contact with him.

    It's not that hard.
  • Dec 2, 2009, 09:06 PM
    vanheart

    Forget this loser.
  • Dec 2, 2009, 09:21 PM
    ohsohappy

    You know, I think you should take a look around this site some more.
    There are probably hundreds of posts with similar circumstances.
    (I've seen dozens)

    Does nobody realize that "love triangles" aren't love? They're just "triangles" and in this context, not a good one.

    Don't let the corners of this "triangle" get stuck together by pieces of anatomy. (sex)

    There's no emotion here.

    Honey I've got to tell you, that what he's telling you is fake. He's a love poser, he pretends because it benefits him, because he's probably hedonistic, and you go for it because you want to be loved.

    Didn't your mommy and daddy ever tell you that when someone loves you, they won't treat you like a piece of meat?


    I guarantee that he makes jokes about you to his friends.
    They might have even made a bet "How long do you think it will take for her to go for it?"
    He sounds like the kind of guy that would do that, and unless you like that kind of attention, I advise you to turn-tail and run.
    Don't talk to this guy, just go.


    Get some guts, walk away, and realize that there ARE men out there that wouldn't do this to you.
    It's clear that with the state of mind you are in, you are easily taken advantage of, and this could put you in a worse spot.
    Walk away, forget about him, and think about yourself.

    How in the world do you expecct a man to REALLY love you, if you can't even love yourself?
  • Dec 25, 2009, 03:58 PM
    lisa71

    Thanks everybody for the sound advice!
  • Dec 25, 2009, 04:41 PM
    justme02

    Heyy giving you some advice chick I'm a model my ex boyfriend ended me saying I weren't good anof and I were heart broken I cryed every night thinking I would never find anyone like him any away he refused to talk to me 4 months till I went into hospital he come to see me complety dodged my head uo saying he still loved me etc then he didn't talk to me 4 another 5 months and he started emailing me saying he loved me etc so and my heart sunk till he were playing me with another girl I started to hate him any way I've got a new boyfriend he's amazing he's so much better than my ex yea he ended it but at the end of the day its his own falt because he don't no what he's missing move on trust me u feel a lot better xx
  • Dec 25, 2009, 10:09 PM
    ohsohappy
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by justme02 View Post
    heyy giving u some advice chick im a model my ex boyfriend ended me saying i wern't good anof and i were heart broken i cryed everynight thinking i would never find anyone like him any away he refused to talk to me 4 months till i went into hospital he come to see me complety dodged my head uo saying he still loved me etc then he didnt talk to me 4 another 5 months and he started emailing me saying he loved me etc so n my heart sunk till he were playing me with another girl i started to hate him any way ive got a new boyfriend hes amazing hes so much better than my ex yea he ended it but at the end of the day its his own falt because he dont no what hes missing move on trust me u feel alot better xx

    If you're going to post in threads, make sure that your posts have proper spelling and punctuation or they will be removed. Unless everything you typed here was one sentence.. .
  • Jan 5, 2010, 07:04 AM
    lisa71

    Well thanks everyone for the fantastic advice! I DID IT! I f**ked him off out of it and I feel so much better for doing so!! It has taken a while but I have finally seen the light!! Thank you xx
  • Jan 5, 2010, 07:11 AM
    amicon

    Well done-stay strong and good luck.
  • Jan 5, 2010, 10:25 AM
    ohsohappy
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by lisa71 View Post
    Well thanks everyone for the fantastic advice!! I DID IT!! I f**ked him off outta it and I feel so much better for doing so!!! It has taken a while but I have finally seen the light!!!! Thank you xx

    YES! Great Job!

    Just remember that you can always come here if you need to talk!
    :)
  • Feb 19, 2010, 04:20 AM
    lisa71
    Why is he being like this?
    Threads merged

    Hi guys, its me again (sigh) the guy who dumped me for the younger slimmer model decided she wasn't for him after all & came back to me (yes I am a fool but I love him) anyway after 8 months of yo yo dating he decided he wanted to meet the kids (Boxing Day) - it went well - but a day or so later I was dumped again for being "too intense" and too "in your face" I was heartbroken again - since then he hasn't stopped txtin & phoning begging to see me - we met up Monday just gone & ended up in bed together - he told me I was too "intense" & our relationship should just be "fun" so I accepted it. I got a right earful for not txting him at all the next day & he promptly ignored my calls! So I went out for a drink with a male friend & when he found out he went ballistic! I was then told I was too intense, give too much of myself too soon & that I will never find love! To say the least my confidence is rock bottom now. I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life but at the same time how can I change who I am? He wouldn't open up as to how he felt about me at all - yet I was expected to tell him I loved him? I am so unhappy - any advice any one xx
  • Feb 19, 2010, 05:05 AM
    jmjoseph

    If you really want to change, start by never talking to this guy again. You are pushed aside while he goes after another girl, when THAT doesn't work out he comes back to you. Then he decides that you are "too intense" and "too in your face", yet he wants to get in YOUR PANTS. When you want more. He just wants "fun"(code for sex). But you can't see anyone else in the meanwhile. So, he is treating you like a sex toy, putting you on the shelf until HE wants something.

    Start working on yourself confidence. In the meanwhile, tell him to go have "fun" by himself, if you know what I mean.

    There is happiness out there for you. Go find it.

    Trade that monkey for a man.

    Good luck.

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