Here's the story:
My girlfriend and I have been dating for about 8 months. We are both in college, and have been friends for over a year and a half. When we started dating things were perfect, real love at its finest. When we got back to school in the fall, we began fighting a little more. In the beginning of the month, we got into a fight and decided to go on a break. This wasn't a break from dating, but rather a break from seeing each other as much. This lasted for about two weeks, after we both realized issues involving the relationship. The week before thanksgiving went back to normal, and we couldn't have been happier. After leaving on such a high note, Thanksgiving break was going to be a breeze. I gave her space, allowing her to see old friends and family. The most I would contact her was two or three times a day with a text and one phone call. Apparently this got too overwhelming, and she said I was too clingy and needy. So I backed off even more, limiting contact to one phone call at night to see how her day was. This was bad as well because since we have been dating for so long there is no reason to create "awkward small talk" on the phone. Mind you, we are still dating here. Well today we get back to school, and she tells me she wants to spend the day with her roommate, since she misses her and she has been having boy problems. I of course oblige, and she thanks me for the space I was giving her. We say goodnight, and I come home to check my computer, and find I'm not in a relationship with her any longer on Facebook. Rather she is in an "open relationship" with her roommate. I did not want to bother her so late at night, knowing she would flip on my "needy and obsessive" tendencies. The only thing I could figure is her roommate broke up with her boyfriend and she was just trying to cheer her up. We are meeting up at 8:00am tomorrow to do things, and plan on getting lunch as well. Like the usual routine goes.

1. Should I be worried about the status change? I know its only Facebook, but it scares me that she may be slipping away.
2. Should I bring this up? Because if I do, I know for a fact she will claim I am obsessing and worrying about us, when we are actually fine.
3. How can I address the her continued distancing herself from us? I know this isn't the girl I fell in love with. I really know who she truly is deep down. I think this it is a weird phase she needs to snap out of.

I can't imagine college life without her. After meeting the first weekend of school, we have spent all sorts of time together, creating the same friendships and hobbies. I've never had a shed of doubt on our relationship, until these issues.

She tells me everything is okay, and that I'm freaking out, but I get nervous when things like this happen.

Please let me know if Im being paranoid or not!

If you meet up with her you ask for the truth, for exampledoes she want to break up? Is she in a relationship with somebody else etc.
You don't hang around in limbo waiting for answers,you deserve to know so you can get on with your life.

OK so, this is easy, she thinks your being clingy? So she's pretty mich getting tired of you. Maybe that was too blunt. She's just not as into it anymore. Because if she was, then it wouldn't matter how many times you contact her a day, she would be happy and apreciate your concern. She obviously hasn't has a jerk as a boyfriend who doesn't care. So when she first got back she pretty much sid she would rather spend her time back with her room mate then you, but in other words. Not very nice. You know, some things just don't last forever. Maybe she's been talking to people, or she's imagening things, she wanted a "break" from seeing each other? Is she going to need that if you two decide to continue the relationship? How many breaks will this women need?? Think about it. Don't ignore the status. Because she obviously put it here for a reason. It was no accident. Ask her what the heck she was thinking changing it, and if she really feels that your not together, because if thast the case then why waist your time one someone who doesn't even want to be with you? Even in you found the words to convince her to stay, the fact that she doesn't feel the same twards you hasn't changed. And also ill just throw out there, you shouldn't have to change yourself for anyone. Itl come in handy if that happens. Definitely bring everything up, spill your feelings to her no mater what she says. A relationship isn't healthy if you don't have comunication. If you don't have that then you dotn have a relationship. Its just how it is. As far as addressing her actions, just ask. Why have you been so distant, if you have something to say then say it. Just get it out. Its better to just get everything out then hold it in for it to turn into something horrible. Hope this helped somewhat.

Thanks for all the great pointers E12191G, but here is a quick update...

I woke up to a text saying she doesn't feel well, and she wouldn't be able to meet me this morning. I understand this because she has been on some rough medication that makes her sick. She apologized many times over, and promised she would buy me lunch later. I assume this is a true story, and I trust her.

E12191G:Your right about most of you post, she did say to me recently that she loves me, but isn't sure her head is 100% in it. She would analyze our relationship, and every time she saw us together, so I really thought nothing of this.

I really don't think her feelings toward me have changed, I think he idea of small talk has changed, meaning she wants to eliminate any unnecessary conversation. Which I know is very strange and unhealthy in a relationship. Believe me, if it was my way I would be one the phone with her all day long.

Also another side note: We went on our break because I screwed up, and had some habits I needed to change. During the two weeks, we hung out about 7 times (which is better than every day, every hour, how it used to be), and she truly saw that I had changed. To be clear, this change was needed for a LONG TIME, not only for my relationship, but for my own well being as well. So yes I changed for her, but mostly for myself as well.

Quote:

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Rather she is in an "open relationship" with her roommate.

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What does that mean, and who is her room mate?

There are to many questions and a lot of facts, like her making you a distant sometimes boyfriend, and is not as emotionally invested as you are. That's a fact, as your just dating, and that only means friends, not necessarily romance or commitment.

You may think you know her well, but your learning more, so I would ask her about her status, and back away to a safe distance because she shows all the signs of having different ideas than you do.

No this isn't something that she has to snap out of, something you have missed, or something has changed, and you need to know what it is, and where you really stand.

I don't see this great love you speak of, just two people who are dating for fun.

The "open relationship" was made because her roommate probably did not want to go to "single" on her Facebook page, so to make the transition easier, my girlfriend is in an "open relationship" as a joke, or pick me up. It's a very common occurrence on face book and this happens daily.

Is her romm mate male or female, or BI?

If its so common why worry? Should they guy she dates be in on the joke?

Sorry guy, I'm just not seeing what you are.

You need to sit her down, and ask her if she is serious about getting your relationship back on track.

To allow yourself to be at the mercy of another making that call, is really opening yourself up to bitterness and heartache.

For some people, you can never change, or do enough, to satisfy them. There is always something else.

If it were me, I would confront her, in a non-confrontational kind of way, tell her you need some answers, and you don't want your life on hold indefinitely. Listen to what she has to say.

Hopefully it will be enough for you to know which direction you're going in and you can get off the treadmill.

So, it's been a few days and a great deal has happened. My girlfriend and I "broke up" 3 days ago. I placed broke up in quotes because I'm not sure it's really over. We both agreed that we realize how big we are, and how bright our future can be. Just right now we aren't sure about everything. We are sure about each other, but there have been other factors surrounding our lives (school, family) that has placed a heavy burden on both of our shoulders. I know you guys will rip me apart for this but... yes I still see her, and yes we are still friends. Of course we have feelings for each other, because we are still in love. We are trying to figure out what needs to be done to get us on the right track again. Recently when we hung out, she questioned the idea of having a "title" on our relationship. This leads me to believe that she does not want the responsibility of being a girlfriend right now. I know she is not trying to sleep around... so you can rule that out of the picture. She has more problems on her plate than that, I can guarantee. So what now? I'm not sure. We see each other each day, and things have been great. She asked me if we made the wrong decision, and she contemplates taking everything she said back, but I think we both need this right now.

We both need our best friend right now, and that's why we are fixing our relationship before we destroy everything.

In the end, it will all be okay. If it's not okay, then its not the end.

I hope I have a clear head here. Please comment!

Open relationship with her Roommate?

Yeahh I wouldn't even give her the time of day my friend.

And you being clingy? Well if you guys text and talk to each other a lot there is nothing wrong with that.
But yeah if she said that to you
Sod her

I mean do you really want to waist your time with someone that calls you clingy? And needy
I've read what clingy and needy can be. You just sound like a young guy that's in love
And that's what kids do when they are in love
They can't get enough of each other :P
That's how it should be

This is way too much problem for you. And what I mean by that.. is

Its not worth fighting for.


And the whloe you guys are still in love thing? What the hell
If you guys was in love. Well more to the point if SHE was in love with you
She would be with you

Don't listen to this crap
I love you but I can't be with you stuff
That is just to ease her guilt mate.
That's all it is
And if you are still going to be around her more pain for you.. is to follow
And wayy way way more problems that you can ever imagen.
Trust me.

I hope you do the right thing
And cut her out of your life
And go No contact

I don't think you will find one person on here that will tell you to fight for this or to be with her.

In times like this emotions can mess with our minds.
Best advice listen to people, that are on the outside lines.

All the best

OK to clear things up with the Facebook status... It's a Joke. Please disregard anything I posted earlier about it.. She posted that on her Facebook as a joke...

My advice still stands Leave her and go no contact.

But whatever happens

I wish you all the best

Regards

Whatever happen to the good old days, when a break was the end, and no room for discussion.

When guys got drunk, made fun of, and when the hang over was over, on to the next.

What's up with this young new breed that can live with a female have sex for 3 days without stopping, but can't talk and get answers.

Geez, let a female fart and they think they are rejected and can't stand the idea of being alone with out their "Pooh-Pooh".

Enough of this crap guy, either get some facts, or get out of Dodge.

All this assuming, and presuming, is going to drive you nuts. If she has no answers for you, you got the wrong female.

Yes I am being both sarcastic and harsh, because your mind is playing tricks on you and have you convinced to be a needy insecure male. You really do need to stop the games and see what you stand for on your own.

Trust me, you will see her much differently.

The thing that shocks me
Is that people come for advice
We give it..
Then they fight about it.
It just always seems to be the case of

You don't know her.
She is not like that
Our love is different
We were meant to be together.

Its not us its family
Its not her its her job.

Honesty in a real relationship..
None of this matters you know why

Becaue you work at it.. TOGETHER
As a team!
That's real love my friend
Someone that will stand by you no matter what is going on in there life.

Not.. when the going gets tough.. ill go on my own.