How to make _lasting_ friendships?
Hi, everyone. My question's about trying to building deep or meaningful relationships. I've always had trouble making friends, and I especially have trouble making "true" friendships, the kind of friends that people hang out with on the weekends or do things with...
I have a problem with shyness. It's hard for me even to make small talk with people, but sometimes I manage to make a comment or two about something and get someone to respond back. Even when I manage to meet someone who's willing to make small talk with me regularly, I never seem to be able to move beyond that, my relationships with people never get past a simple "Hey, how's it going".
As a result, I don't really have any friends. I don't know of anyone I could call to do something with this weekend, nor could I call on anyone to go to a movie/concert/etc. with (hell, I don't even have anyone to put down as my 'emergency contact' when I go to the doctor!)...
So I'm not sure what to do. How do people make friends? Where did you meet your best friends? If you're the type to have lots of friends, are you also the type to strike up conversation with anyone, anywhere? I feel like this is what's holding me back, that it's hard for me to make conversation with strangers, even people I see on a regular basis.
As an aside, my ex girlfriend seemed to have such an easy time making friends, she started grad school this year and instantly made tons of friends (she was going to their parties a week after school started); I tried to learn from her but I always felt it was really odd that she would become so close to people right away. I always feel like it doesn't make sense to be so quick to let people in, but maybe that's part of my problem...
Anyway, I'm looking forward to your responses; I'd been on this site long ago, took a break and now I'm back. I know there are lots of intelligent people here so I'm hoping you'll bestow some of your wisdom. Thanks!