All threads merged for the entire story

Okay guys, I really need help here..

There's this guy I had been casually dating for about 3 months. We had one of those automatic, overwhelming chemistries right off the bat. It almost seemed like love at first sight. We've even talked about it amongst each other, so I know he felt it to. Anyway, we got along so well and I've never met such an honest and genuine guy. I trust him 100%. And this is like the first of many guys I can truly say that about. Well, after the first month or two he let me know that he is afraid of his feelings towards me and how fast everything is moving, so he needed time to get his head on straight. This hurt me, cause it sucked just being without him... But only a week later we ended up in eachother's arms again and he apologized for the pain he had caused me. Everything was back to normal again and going so great.. until another few weeks later. Now he just sent me a text stating that he got another new job and just doesn't have time for a relationship. I was like ooh god not again, and I was once again crushed. I took it a lot harder this time.. we didn't talk for almost a week.. but then I ran into him and we casually said hi.. and went on with what we were doing. Then he sent me a text saying that I look beautiful and asking "just wondering if im still your boo" Im so confused...
It seems like he doesn't want me, but doesn't want anyone else to have me either..
I've been telling him I wanted to talk to clear things up for me. We talked on the phone last night, and filled my ego with how perfect I am and that he's just scared and wants to give me his all and he feels like he can't right now.. Then he said he was going to call me back after he got out of the shower, and he never did. :confused:

Sorry but this guy wants to have a friends with benefits situation whenever it suits him. It doesn't matter what he SAYS, his actions speak for themselves
Don't sit there and wait for his calls whenever it suits him, stop taking his calls instead.

I think you should let this one go.

He keeps dropping you like an old shoe.

Either tell him straight "What's up with you? Either you want to be with me or not! I don't like mind games!"

Chemistry may be good now, but after awhile it WILL settle down and your going to be stuck with a fickle man.

Do you want that? Me thinks no ;)

Move on darlin', there's plenty of men out there...

I think you should let this one go! Life's tough enough when your guy is playing on your team, but when he's "on again - off again", there's no security or no way you'll be a winning team! Get rid of him before you truly do get attached.

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Love at first sight is possible, but it pays to take a second look.

Obviously that great chemistry you feel, he does not. His actions are very clear, he wants it his way, not yours and is using your own feelings against you.

Prove him wrong by disappearing from his life. How dare he play a game with your feelings.

So you guys think he's lying about the reason that "he's scared about how fast things have been moving"?
He said it all first, its not like he's going along with something I said..

Chances are he is telling another girl the same thing he is telling you. Cut him loose and do not answer his calls anymore.

I'm going to agree and say let this one go. If he says "I'm scared of our chemistry" or the like, you should hear "I'm not mature enough to take responsibility for my feelings in a relationship and if you stick around I'm going to jerk you around like a yo-yo until you don't know which end is up." He's already started. If you're up for that, then by all means, go ahead, but I'd suggest you spare yourself the pain.

This guy is half of your relationship and he is afraid of his feelings?? A relationship like this won't work. You can't decide to love someone every few weeks, and dump them the rest of the time. LOVE IS COMMITMENT. THIS GUY DOESN'T LOVE YOU. And, as said before, chemistry is great, but after a while (studies have shown 2 years into the relationship) reality sinks in and love is no longer a "feeling" as much as it is a choice. You need to break it off before you end up with more emotional hurt.

Threads merged

So I so strangely got a text today at 8 a.m from my ex boyfriend. This guy was my longest relationship, plus we dated twice. He hooked up with one of my closests friends one night when we were hanging out in hopes to win me back. I didn't talk to him after, I had no reason to even yell. Months passed by and being ignored had driven him nuts! Haha. So he came back apologizing and pulling the typical "i was drunk, we werent even together anyways" bull. And once AGAIN wanted to win me back. I said fine Ill hang out with you, but we'll never be anything more again.. cause I reallyy do like his company, he's so funny and fun to be around. After a few times of hanging out as frieendss.. he of course wanted more and didn't take my refusal very well.. and began calling me a prudent and other horrible things. So that was the last straw. I was like wow you can't even handle a friendship with me.. so I wrote a mean rap about him on a myspace blog. It was hilarious. Covered alllll the points about him that I've always had hidden within my thoughts. he read it an I'm surprised how lightly he took it.. whatever. I realized how immature it was so I deleted it after like a month and we continued not to talk for months and months now. I really thought that would end his constantly coming back to me. HA
But I guess not. See, he had moved to Arizona shortly after that last episode for college. And now he's back in town and wants to see me.. I handled it all well, I was nice to him, we talked on the phone a little.. and I know you will all tell me not to see this again or he'll think he's going to win me over again. But that's just it, the thrill of the hole hard to get thing is just so fun for me. I know he has noo more chances left with me.. but it seems this little jerk will always have a place in my heart.
Thanks for listening xoxo

Believe me that I am not trying to be mean but I once dated someone who later I found out "enjoyed the thrill". Once I would seem to get over him enough to actually get out again he would be right on my heels. He would soon tire of me and then guess what... as soon as he would hear of me crawling out of myself pity and pain here he would come again. I repeated this cycle a few times and when I finally wised up and turned the game on him. He found out that in the end the player actually got played. I don't think he had ever been played back before. The look on his face. I can say that for awhile when I would run into him or he me when I would be out that he would get this intimidated look about himself and I loved it. What I am trying to say is... be careful. Players usually don't like to be played because they don't like to lose. Things have a way of coming back to you.

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Originally Posted by dnaakrs

Believe me that I am not trying to be mean but I once dated someone who later I found out "enjoyed the thrill". Once I would seem to get over him enough to actually get out again he would be right on my heels. He would soon tire of me and then guess what...as soon as he would hear of me crawling out of my self pity and pain here he would come again. I repeated this cycle a few times and when I finally wised up and turned the game on him. He found out that in the end the player actually got played. I don't think he had ever been played back before. The look on his face. I can say that for awhile when I would run into him or he me when I would be out that he would get this intimidated look about himself and I loved it. What I am trying to say is...be careful. Players usually don't like to be played because they don't like to lose. Things have a way of coming back to you.

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Well you see, he's the one that had always been doing the playing.. I kept giving in to him.. one time he even said it to me himself that I'm pathetic and always go back to him. He was a reealll . Or he is. Its kind of funny you say that actually.. cause I used to be the one doing the playing. Then I met him, and I committed and fell head over heels for him.. over and over again. But I'm not going to let it happen again. I think you may have switched up mine and his roles here..

Harshness alert, VERY Harsh as a matter of fact!

I think you have life, and BS all mixed up. Why string the a'hole along for your own amusement. You must think it funny to entertain your own sick need for thrills, at the price of others.

Your so full of BS, that someday you will drown in your own shat.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ry-419051.html

Is this the same guy??

I got to admit, that I kind of agree with Tal.. .

All I read from this post was "My ex screwed me over, so I'm going to lead him on and screw him over because it's fun and I know I can get away with it."

From the impression I got from you I thought you were between 15 and 17.

Tell me, how old are you? Because if it's any older, then you certainly don't act like it.

Your games are ridiculous.
And I think you're both acting like children.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by talaniman

Harshness alert, VERY Harsh as a matter of fact!

I think you have life, and BS all mixed up. why string the a'hole along for your own amusement. You must think it funny to entertain your own sick need for thrills, at the price of others.

Your so full of BS, that someday you will drown in your own shat.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ry-419051.html

Is this the same guy???

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NOOO its not.. I wouldn't want to play those games with the other one because I genuinly care for him.. this guy, I can't begin to tell you how much pain he put me thorugh. I've never met a more disrespectful guy in my life. But it kills me that he always is there in my heart and it never goes away. But aside from my feelings, the facts make it impossible to ever manage to be with him again.. so I take out that anger on him in the sense that he can't have me back. But I kind of want him to. Its hard to explain. Probably sounds worse than it is... at least I'm honest?

How about you just move on and stop playing games? Heal from the breakup and get happy again.

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Originally Posted by amicon

How about you just move on and stop playing games? Heal from the breakup and get happy again.

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I AM completely over him, its been a whiiile.. he's not over me though, apparently.
I'm actually in the healing process for somebody else right now (my other post)
I like being around him though, I'm not reallyy tryingg to play games..

Just ignore him then,life's too short to worry about jerks from the past.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by amicon

Just ignore him then,life's too short to worry about jerks from the past.

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I know, your so right.
But I DO like hanging out with him..
Should I let that go?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by coruzzi2

well you see, he's the one that had always been doing the playing.. I kept giving in to him.. one time he even said it to me himself that im pathetic and always go back to him. he was a reealll . or he is. its kind of funny you say that actually.. cause i used to be the one doing the playing. then i met him, and i committed and fell head over heels for him.. over and over again. but im not gonna let it happen again. I think you may have switched up mine and his roles here..

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I am just saying it may be better to stop a not so good cycle you have going on here. No good comes of it. I did this only once so my ex could know what the pain and humiliation felt like. It's not something I would do over and over. No good comes out of it. You already know what it's all about so don't you think it be better for you not to get back into something so unhealthy. Read what you said above about you use to do the playing. Read my earlier statement that says, "players get played". Let this one go.