Ask Me Help Desk - What should I do?

What should I do?

Well I have been with this girl for about 3 months and she has said that we need to end things for right now.She still has to end her divorce and get her papers signed.For me I have to get my things together and get a job so I can make thing happen.But the thing is,I push her away and she feels like I don't open up a lot to her.I hurt her at one time and did not talk to her for about 4 days and then came back to her.I did not sleep with anyone I had a court date and I did not want to put her in it.So when I came back she had been talking to someone else on myspace.She never said I don't want to be with you I'm seeing someone else.I see her saying how much she liked him and all but she keeps on saying how much she just want me to hug her and that she is with me every night.Now she is saying that she is up in the air to who ever gets there thing together first.What should I do?I love this girl but how does a girl that I love talk to other man ?

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Now she is saying that she is up in the air to who ever gets there thing together first.

I hate to say it, but when someone puts conditions on being with them, run the other way.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

I hate to say it, but when someone puts conditions on being with them, run the other way.

Why do you feel thAt way?

You both DO need to get your heads on straight- and with so many complications in a relationship only 3 months in, it's best that you get things straightened out seperatly. She also has given you a sort of ultimatum, which isn't fair. My advice as far as you and this woman go, is to leave... this seems like a big mess already, and an even bigger mess in the making.
But, if you do decide to break it off, you aren't off the hook as far as getting things together in your life. NO women wants to be with a man who doesn't have his stuff straight. If you want any chance of a lasting relationship, you need to organize your life. This doesn't just mean getting a job (studies have shown that women prefer emotional security far more than financial security) you need to learn to be open, honest, and communicate. You hurt her and let her hang onto all her hurt feelings for 4 days before talking about it? That doesn't speak love to ANYONE. As a couple, if something happens, you NEED to communicate. If you're in doubt, communicate. If you feel angry at her, communicate (that doesn't mean yell at her) HEALTHY communication- make sure that you repeat back what you hear her say and that she does for you. Make it a point to not raise your voice and not put her on the defense, and let her know that you would like her to practice the same. As a couple you aren't enemies, you're on the same team. Practice healthy communication with female friends. This is the best advice I've got to give you.

To pit two guys against each other is a game that doesn't show love. As Jaime says, you do need to get your act together, for yourself, and not her. That takes time to do it right and there are many things to learn so you can get it together. Its not love if she doesn't want to be a part of that process.

True, you have made mistakes in the past, but that's normal for inexperienced young people. What's more important is you never let yourself, or your feelings, be held hostage by someone who cannot accept who you are, and what you mean to them, as you are.

Its clear she is keeping her options open, and right fully so, but she is not as sold on you as you are her. That's not the kind of love you want, or need, nor the distraction that you can afford right now.

You have a mission to yourself, and when your ready, someone will appear. So leave her alone to be the best you can be, and get with someone who deserves you, and really wants you, for you, the good, and the not so good.

3 months really. She is still married. Things up in the air.

LEAVE HER.

1) So much drama.

2) So much baggage.

3) Ink still not dried on the divorce papers.

4) Emotional turmoil everywhere because of seperation/break up.

5) Rebounds.

Not the kind of recipe I would like for a healthy relationship.

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Originally Posted by I wish

1) So much drama.

2) So much baggage.

3) Ink still not dried on the divorce papers.

4) Emotional turmoil everywhere because of seperation/break up.

5) Rebounds.

Not the kind of recipe I would like for a healthy relationship.

Hey man thank you guys for all your help!

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Originally Posted by Useritson

Hey man thank you guys for all your help!!

Thank you guys!