For those of you that don't know I'm visiting my sister for about a month. She lives on the west coast and I'm on the east coast so we don't get to see each other as often as we like.

Anywhozzils, she has two boys and they are pretty good kids but then again not.

The whine a hell of a lot, and I mean a lot. The oldest boy is 5 and has to have things done a certain way or he cries and throws a tempertantrum, he does that a school too.

The other one is 2 as well and he has his moments as well but he's not as "bad" as the 5 year old.

Now Rachel, I'm not saying she's perfect she has her moments, but generally she is an easy kid to deal with! Now she's starting to whine a lot, bite, push, scream and just getting all those bad habits.

It feels like all my parenting has been flushed down the toilet. I'm just so angry!

Like I want to shove that 5 year old and tell him off. I know how immature but that's how I feel.That's how much he frustrates me!

I don't know what to tell my sister. I told her a couple times that she she should let go and stop mommying them but she just brushes it off and then gets mad when her boys disobey her.

I'm just ugh angry, frustraded and annoyed.

Help me!

If I were you, if Rachel starts behaving like this again, I'd take her aside and explain to her that her behavior is unacceptable, and why she can't act that way. Tell her that when she acts like that, then there will be concequences, and make them clear to her. Such as; taking away toys, not giving her desert. Things of that nature.
Tell her that it will be much easier for her to keep those privelages if she keeps behaving well.
Say it in a way you know she will understand. This way, she knows what the rules are and exactly how she has to behave in order to get what she wants, and what behaviors will get her privelages taken away.

I'm sure you'll be fine.

As far as your sister, maybe just explain to her that you love her and her sons very much, and you want it to be a nice visit, and that it would help you out a lot if she followed your lead.

And most importantly, STAY CONSISTENT with Rachel.

I hope it works! Good luck! :)

Rachy is two!! I can sit and explain to her about stuff but it feels like one ear out the other with a "huh?".

Trust me, I do say "no", time her out and even swat her.

I'm like so frustraded sometimes that I cry.

To be honest, I don't like children all that much and well I love my daughter and most other kids just bug me. I was beyond lucky to have Rach so well mannered. I really can't handle bratty kids. I also admit that I would not make a good babysitter, because well me and kids don't mix.

Don't get me wrong I love Rach, with all my heart, but I am not a kid person.

I hope most of you understand and not come to some weird conclusion that I'm this horrible mother that hates children :(

It is amazing how kids pick up other kids bad habits.

I think it is safe to say that we know you well enough to know that you are a good mom, and anybody would be pulling their hair out with two undisciplined kids.

Because your visit is only temporary, there is not much you can do. Other than, if they are in your space, or doing something to your daughter, step in. Otherwise, it isn't likely that you will have much effect over a short term.

Maybe do your sister a favour and hit the bookstore. See if you can't find her a few good books on parenting and discipline. I don't know if she ever watches Nanny 911, but she uses some really effective techniques that even the youngest child can understand.

I don't envy you being annoyed. All you can do is make the best of it.

I have interesting stories to share. I am worried about my boy picking up bad habits and behaviour from families children too, but at the same time it is unpreventable. Children mimic other children. If it is not happening with family it will happen in school.

The thing about my sister is, she won't read.

She watches those Nanny shows and she'll follow the "rules" but 1 week later it's back to the same ole same ole.

But thanks Jake, really. I kind of feel like a horrible person to admit that I don't really like children all too much. I can do a playdate, I can do the birthday parties.. but I can't be with other children for like days or weeks.

Rach is not perfect and I don't want to make it sound like she's an angel but I can handle her and her picking up bad habits is as if someone just threw a bucket of red paint on my fur coat. Something like that...

I can talk to my sister about it but she just ignores me...

Sigh

Quote:

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Originally Posted by RosieCateBlack

they're kids.. what did you expect??

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Your right, I may have unrealistic expectations when it comes to my daughter.

Heck I'm sure she'll be picking up things I hate for a very long time.

However, isn't the first 5 years vital?

I don't want Rach to grow up to be a rude little brat that has no respect!

That is what I'm most afraid of.

She used to say "thankyou" "please" and ask nicely now she's like "I NEEEDD IT NOWWWWWWW"

If you have children, I'm sure you understand. If not then well... I don't want to sound rude but you kind of have to either have children or work with children to give this kind of advice.

I couldn't go to the reptile category in AMHD and advise people who to care for them because neither do I own a reptile but I don't work with them, I think the same applies with children.

... but that's just my opinion.

Sarah I understand your problem completely. It happens to us whenever another child comes and stays with us, or when they are around other children at school or church that whine and cry, whenever they don't get there way. I just laugh at my boys and ask them if they think that this behavior will work. I also don't reward bad behavior, and send them to their rooms for a while.

But your little girl is much younger than my boys, so it's a tough call. Does your sister allow you to "help" with her boys? By help, I mean will she be OK with you giving the five year old some input on his behavior like telling him that he's the oldest, and you need him to help do specific things to help you with Rachel. Give him some responsibilities that will boost his confidence. Don't try to raise her kids for her, but you can influence them in a positive way. Don't reward "bad" behavior, ignore them when they whine, and tell them you cannot hear whiney voices. Tell the boys that you will not allow them to be rough will your little girl, and reward good behavior.

The problem won't be permanent, and Rachel is TWO, so she is going to pick up any and all bad behaviors that she sees, so don't sweat it too much.

I'll be back, I've got to get ready for work.

Good luck, and don't pull out too much of your hair.

As much as it annoys you about your sisters kids.. im the same... although kids seem to like me,but I don't know why!

Rachel is only a baby really.. and whatever she picks up from her cousins will be short term,if she picks up any bad behaviours.

As hard as it is to watch and stand back,that's all you can do.. their your sisters kids.

Enjoy the trip and spending time with your family,its also good for rachel to spend time with family members..

Thanks guys!

Yesterday it just got to me more than usual because of other stuff so I just wanted bust out crying because I was frustraded.

Ever had one of those day where it seems everything is falling apart and coming at you at once? It kind of felt like that.

I'm still quite bothered that Rach is picking up stuff but I hope you guys are right and it is temporary.

Thanks a ton again :)

This will pass - once you get home and back in your routine.
Having said that, at 2 she is going to start trying to figure out what she can get away with. She WILL push your buttons. Right now, she sees her cousins acting badly AND getting what they want - so she is giving it a try. Just stay consistent with her. As long as YOU don't change your way of doing things - she will figure out that while it may work for the cousins and their mom - it will NOT work for her and her mom!

Good luck!

Muddy,
My mom always tells me that children unlearn things, so it is up to us to help them unlearn the bad habits.As others said, they will pick them up from others,if not relatives then school friends and playmates.

Takes a while for them to get it right, mine is four now, but some days I wonder who's kid is she, and feel like pulling my hair out in frustration.

Good luck with parenting.

.

Have a good time with your sister and her children. These are the times to make fond memories. Whatever bad habits she picks up, you can undo when you get home.

I picked up a wonderful book called "Have A New Kid By Friday" by Dr. Kevin Leman. I never have been a big fan of child rearing books, but this guy is great. It teaches kids that B isn't going to happen until A happens first. It sounds like your sister could use a copy. I wish you the best.