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-   -   What Should I Do If My girlfriend Wants A Break? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=418935)

  • Nov 24, 2009, 08:59 AM
    justnidhelponly
    What Should I Do If My Gf Wants A Break?
    My girlfriend just asked for a break and I just agreed. I wanted to leave, but she told me she still loves me and ask me not to leave, just that she got tired of some drama and need a break. Well, I was at fault for not trusting her, but I couldn't help it she spends more time with other guys then with me so obviously I got jealous and suspects if she still loves me, so my friend suggested texting her in a third party way to ask if she's single. I agreed, to my horror, she saw through it and ignored me for quite some time. I apologized repeatedly until she finally forgives me, she told me she couldn't bring herself to hate me even though I did that. Even though she forgiven me she still said she needed a break. And one day when I got home I change my msn pm to "i forgot to tell u that u looked gorgeous." immediately after some time, she became jealous and start talking to me again. She told me well at least your happy now but I became mean and told her she need not care if I'm happy anot, soon we become to pour out our problems. I asked her if we are really over, she replied no but I'll have to wait caz she has a lot of things coming up, super busy. So, if we get get back together. I won't be anytime soon and told me being together with me gives her headache. I agreed to it but I still dun get what's her intention. I really dun want to lose her but I dun noe what should I do. This is hurting a lot more then a break up, caz I dun really know if I should wait or move on. I isn't sure she's coming back. I really dun noe what I should do. Someone help me?

    I could elaborate further but I just can't do it here.
    Help, someone
  • Nov 24, 2009, 09:18 AM
    adam_89

    Hey. The worst thing you could have done was that message asking if she was single. I have had those thoughts before but figured it would blow up in my face. Apparently it happened to you so now you know and you know not to do it again. I think you are preparing yourself for the breakup right now because you think it is going to happen. I know you can't decide the outcome in this. Well you can or she can. If you think there is hope then fight for it. If you feel it is over then let it go.
  • Nov 24, 2009, 11:04 AM
    I wish
    If you had relationship problems, you should be working them out together. The fact that she's asking for a break means that she risks losing you, which means she's not as serious about the relationship anymore. However, you've shown her that you're willing to wait around, so you've become a safety net.

    If she wants you back. She will let you know. Putting pressure on her won't do either of you any good. So all you can really do is wait for her to come around.

    Go do your own thing. Don't sit around waiting by the phone for her to call. You can wait for her. But don't wait forever, because you'll be setting yourself up for disappointment and a huge heartbreak.
  • Nov 24, 2009, 11:26 AM
    Devorameira
    I have a little different response, but I think since she's indicated that you aren't getting back together anytime soon, you need to move out, go on with your life, and wait on her to contact you when and IF she's ready. You have to face the possibility that she may never be ready to work things out.

    It would be hard, but since there doesn't seem to be any deep discussions on fixing the problems, it's best to have absolutely no contact with her. It'll be hard to resist the temptation to call, or email, or text message or whatever, but if you just hold your ground and say "no, I'm not going to do this", it gets easier over time. Maybe if she sees that you can live without her and actually enjoy life, she'll decide to put more effort into the relationship.

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------



    If you can't save the relationship, at least save your pride.
  • Nov 24, 2009, 12:47 PM
    talaniman

    Quote:

    I asked her if we are really over, she replied no but I'll have to wait caz she has alot of things coming up, super busy. so, if we get get back 2gether. i wont be anytime soon and told me being 2gether with me gives her headache.
    The game you played was stupid at best, but ain't that much love in the world, to make me put my life on hold, while she disrespects me.

    Her intentions are clear, and you should disappear from her life completely, so she can get over her headache, and attitude.
  • Nov 24, 2009, 03:28 PM
    Krayzie2k
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by I wish View Post
    Go do your own thing. Don't sit around waiting by the phone for her to call. You can wait for her. But don't wait forever, because you'll be setting yourself up for disappointment and a huge heartbreak.

    Take this advice. Man I swear this is the best advice hands down to anyone whose girl or guy wants a "break".
  • Nov 25, 2009, 04:01 AM
    justnidhelponly

    Thanks for the help and advice, but I'm still trying very hard to cope with life. Luckily, I have friends that would go out with me. Anyw I still dun get her intentions, I'm only 15 -16 , she's my first girlfriend but for her, I'm like her 50th or smth. I dun get why she is taking a break with me. She nv takes breaks with her exs. She told me she felt very different when I hug her. She said she could feel my love, different from when her exs hugs her. She once told me I was what she was looking for and she told me I was the best, but I dun noe if its true. She told me there's never been a guy who cared as much as me about her and that she felt very comfortable with me. If she loves me why is she still doing this to me.
  • Nov 25, 2009, 05:48 AM
    adam_89
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by justnidhelponly View Post
    thanks for the help and advice, but i m still trying very hard to cope with life. luckily, i have friends that would go out with me. Anyw i still dun get her intentions, i m only 15 -16 , shes my first girlfriend but for her, i m like her 50th or smth. i dun get why she is taking a break with me. she nv takes breaks with her exs. She told me she felt very different when i hug her. she said she could feel my love, different from when her exs hugs her. she once told me i was what she was looking for and she told me i was the best, but i dun noe if its true. she told me there's never been a guy who cared as much as me about her and that she felt very comfortable with me. if she loves me why is she still doing this to me.

    This is why all this is happening. You are young, she is young! None of this means anything to her. You are just another guy. She may be your first and I know the first can hurt the most but you need to do away with her and forget about it. You and I both know what is going to happen so either you dump her or wait it out and let her dump you.
  • Nov 25, 2009, 07:00 AM
    talaniman
    Don't let your inexperience make a fool out of you kid, get away from this situation.

    Of course you fall for anything she says, because you have some intense feelings, and like being loved. But she uses her words to fill your head with fancy, and fantasy.

    Once you have heard this BS enough, you can see her words don't match her actions, and you will be out of there.
  • Nov 25, 2009, 08:00 AM
    justnidhelponly

    But now we're already in the break period and I am quite happy now. Caz I seemed to got over her. Haha. Hmm so how should I break it to her that I dun love her anymore
  • Nov 25, 2009, 08:07 AM
    adam_89
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by justnidhelponly View Post
    but now we're already in the break period and i am quite happy now. caz i seemed to got over her. haha. hmm so how should i break it to her that i dun love her anymore

    It may seem hard but you are young so it makes it easier. Just tell her things are meant to be and it is time to move on. She should understand if you both agreed to a break. Just make the break a break-up. It is time and I am glad you realize it. Good luck!
  • Nov 25, 2009, 08:08 AM
    justnidhelponly

    haha OK thanks =D
  • Nov 25, 2009, 08:14 AM
    amicon

    Good luck.
  • Nov 25, 2009, 09:33 AM
    justnidhelponly

    Omg she just talked to me. I replied her coldly and the conversation ended haha
  • Nov 25, 2009, 09:50 AM
    adam_89

    Good for you pal. Things olnly get better now.
  • Nov 25, 2009, 09:51 AM
    justnidhelponly

    Hmm I dun get it, can u explain it more in detail . Er u have msn?
  • Nov 25, 2009, 09:52 AM
    amicon

    Good! Next time she tries talking to you,ignore her.
  • Nov 25, 2009, 09:53 AM
    justnidhelponly

    But I wan her back, why should I ignore her omg lol
  • Nov 25, 2009, 09:55 AM
    adam_89
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by justnidhelponly View Post
    hmm i dun get it, can u explain it more in detail . er u have msn?

    What do you want me to explain? How it only gets better? You were happy that the conversation ended so things must be getting better so things will continue to get better right? I don't have msn. Just a warning, no text talk or chat talk here. You will get yelled at. Haha. Not by me though. People don't like it and it is against the rules.
  • Nov 25, 2009, 09:58 AM
    justnidhelponly

    I don't know but when she suddenly talks to me, I started having second thoughts of wanting her back, but I just replied coldly, here is the log : 12:32 AM) ****: HELLO
    (12:32 AM) **: ?
    (12:32 AM) ****: ah nth la
    Damn bloody bored
    (12:32 AM) **: haha
    OK
    Find something to do lor
    (12:33 AM) ****: oh okay.
    Haha

    I dun get why she wants to talk to me, isst her missing me ?

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