Leave the past in the past. How many time have we all said that? My question is, how many people can actually do it? So far in life, I have not been able to. It is so hard for me to get over every little, teeny, tiny thing I have ever done. It seems like I cannot get past certain things in my life. Why can't I move on? Why can't I just brush things off my shoulder and just... be? I am so fed up with the person that I am. I am so tired of being me. I mean, what is so special about me anyway? I complain all the time. I about everything. I belittle everyone around me. People have to treat me like a child to be able to get along with me. I am always on the defensive so I make everyone feel like everything is their fault. I act like a crazy person. I lie and I make promised I can't keep. I do things I know are wrong. I am so tired of being me. I just wish I were... a different person sometimes. I just wish I were... I don't know. I just want to be different. Yet I guess I don't want it enough to change. I have no idea what to do. I thought changing jobs would make things so much better. In a sense it has. I do feel happier more often but just changing jobs isn't going to change everything. I don't know why I thought it would. How can I expect things to be OK with friends and family if I'm not OK inside. I feel like things would be better for everyone if I just weren't in their lives anymore.