Hi, this year I'm 14 years old and I'm in 8th grade. Ever since I started 6th grade, I've started feeling very anxious around people, doesn't matter who. I have trouble talking to other kids my age as well as adults, like store clerks. Because of this, I have no friends at all, I've never been invited to a birthday party before ever since I started middle school. I spend all day on the computer trying to kill time. I don't know what else to do. I feel safest inside my house, on the computer. Even though it makes me sad, I do it anyway because I feel insecure and anxious if I go outside. Anytime I see kids my age have so many friends and having fun, I get very sad and lonely. I always separate myself from the crowd because I think that people might feel sorry for me and try to help me... :(

I used to have so many friends, back when I was in elementary. I got invited to different parties, birthday parties, Christmas parties, and I was involved in things. I was so happy. But as I switched into middle school, I started feeling so unhappy, depressed, and anxious. I'm in 8th grade now and I never had the nerve to get a girlfriend. In all the years I'm in middle school, I've never went to a football game, tromp, dances, homecoming, etc. I just go to school and go home, and lock myself inside my room.

I feel that if I get a girlfriend, I need to do things with her, but since I'm like this, I don't think that I'll make her happy. I just can't get out of the stage I'm in, sometimes I would feel happy for a while, but it always go away.

Everyday, I try to kill time by sleeping, watching TV, or play on the computer. I know that I'm wasting my life and I'm so depressed and unhappy about it. But I just feel so safe and secure this way.

I know with all my heart that I need go get professional help, but I can't afford it.

:(

Yo, SB, I've always thought you gave good responses to people looking for help. I think there's more inside you than you realize! And I love your screen name -- very clever! Let's work together to make sure you are a "survivorboi."

There should be counseling available to you for free. Do you have a school guidance counselor who could help or put you in touch with someone who can? What about a favorite teacher who would be willing to talk with you a bit and maybe figure out where to go from there? What about a minister or priest at your church, if you go to one?

I know you want changes but I wouldn't recommend spending too much time worrying about a relationship right now its too much of a crap shoot and can go tearably wrong. .
Other than that do what wondergirl suggested,I think your in a rut out of habit and convience your going to have to get out of the bubble to break the rut your in.

There is a counselor at my school. Do you think I should talk to them?

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Originally Posted by survivorboi

There is a counselor at my school. Do you think I should talk to them?

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Yes , he could suggest groups to join that you would feel comfortable in,and other things if he/she is a good one.

I agree, You've probably just fallen in to a rut.
Just keep looking ofr help and you're sure to come out of it!

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Hey Survivorboi,

Your user-name is testament in itself that you're going to be more than just OK. Asking for suggestions is a good first step as you realize you're not achieving in life what you really want. Is there anything social that you enjoy that you could get involved in? I can't help but think this is step one for you. Your social life could be expanded by doing things that will just get you 'out' of the comfort zone of your bedroom, or where-ever your computer happens to be. Student council? Anything to get involved with same-aged people? Perhaps your counselor at school could give you some suggestions. Even if it feels uncomfortable in the beginning, give it a little time, and you'll feel more at ease in these situations and give you more opportunities to experience the things you want (ie... girlfriends... ).

My best, BB

I'm about to start 9th grade next year (which means I'll be going to high school) and I going to join a lot of clubs and play soccer. I hope that might help me from feeling anxious and open up more to people. I want to make more friends and get more social, more involved in school activities. Maybe high school will be a new start for me!

Well it's great that you are planning ahead and working out how to make changes.

Have a chat with that school counsellor anyway though. There's no reason not to learn more tools that will help you and start trying a few things out before you change school - just think of it as getting some practice in before the move if you like.

You sound like a clever guy with a good heart so I'm sure people will be glad to have you as a friend once you give them the chance to get to know you.

Hello there, Hang in there bud, It will get better and join them clubs it'll help.

Hello there, Hang in there bud, It will get better and join them clubs it'll help.

Hey Survivor,

It's a very good thing to be planning your ninth grade in advance, very good. However, you are still in 8th grade and need to try to get out of your comfort zone now so that your future plans will be successful in grade 9.

I just wanted to point out that maybe this is something you may want to have a chat with your doctor with. If you are depressed, there is medication that can help get your mind in a good place. No matter what the situation is with you, DON'T be embarrassed or shy - please! The things you are feeling are not abnormal or unusual - so many people experience these same feelings... don't be afraid to reach out for help. The saddest thing you can do is not ask for help and express yourself.
Anyhow, I read your post and I thought that you are having some positive thoughts, but I don't want you to fool yourself into thinking that everything will be just great once you hit your next year of school. You have to start trying to achieve the things you want NOW. Baby steps are better than nothing :)

So, how are you doing now, survivorboi?

Thanks!

I think you might have social anxiexty I also have that too and I am in thearpy and it worked so great