I've been with my boyfriend now for 2 years, we've had our bad patches but things seem to be on track and we're always telling each other how happy we are. There's just one problem, he doesn't want to sleep with me much anymore. About a year ago I cheated on him with a drunken one night stand. It's the first time I've ever cheated on anyone and I was always against people cheating. I totally regretted it as soon as it happened and confessed straight away because I couldn't lie to him. We split for about a month but luckily got back together. I've never felt this way about anyone before, I want to be with him forever and we occasionally talk about marriage and kids etc and are currently saving for a house. He is doing a lot of overtime right now to get extra money which I suppose can only be seen as a good thing with the house savings and I'm not sure if he's just tired from this etc. The thing that's on my mind is I don't know if he's still hurting over what I did. When we talk about it he says it's in the past and we have to move forward, and he never brings it up. I just don't want our sex life to be suffering because of what I did. When we do have sex it's probably once or twice per week if I'm lucky and he premmaturely ejactulates which I'm not sure is a totally separate issue! Please help...

There are a lot of issues in your post,but ill try and over some of them.

Twice a week for a lot of couples is pretty normal.

So he is having sex with you.

If he is working a lot of overtime to save for a house,he probably is stressed and tired.

As for the cheating last year,it takes time to build up trust again,but most relationships are never the same,some become stronger others don't..

Based on your post it would seem to me that your missing intimacy...

Plan a night together... where you are both home early.. have a nice meal and set the mood... make this plan together,so each of you know what's going on... dont make it a surprise in case he has to work late.

People deal with hurt feelings in different ways.. if he wants to forget and not talk about for now,don't push it... but you both need to talk and keep the lines of communication open.. perhaps when the intimacy has returned he will be willing to be more open about his feelings about the cheating.

Relationships take work... and relationships healing from a trauma take an extra bit of effort,from both sides.

Had to spread the rep Rehead, but I love your answer.

The only thing I want to add is the erectile problem. Premature ejaculation is something that he should see his Doctor about. May be time for a checkup.

The premature ejaculation may actually be a good sign. You turn him on so much he explodes. There are lots of techniques for guys to recover quickly or slow down the explosion. You didn't mention how old you both are, ymere, so I do have to ask if age is a factor.

As for the relationship itself, it looks to be on the road to recovery, as Redhed said.

Thanks for your posts guys, I know it will take a lot of work and to be honest I think I'm the one that's taken longer to forgive myself rather than him forgiving me. I thought I'd get responses saying what a horrible person I am and I still hate myself now for what I did and wish it never happened. I'm 26 and he's 28, he only asked me the other day about kids etc so I'm fairly certain he wants me for the longhaul, I just have a lot of problems with confidence and have put a little bit of weight on lately too so thought that he might not find me attractive anymore. I think that he's too good for me in the looks department too which is probably an issue but when I've asked people about it they say we're on parr with each other or that I'm slightly better looking. He's the best looking guy I've ever been with so I think my opinion of him is extremely high! We don't sleep with each other once or twice EVERY week but that's probably about the most at the min and it hasn't been like that just since the cheating. It was great when we got back together but has dwindled more just lately. He's also doing a lot of work to the house too so that's tiring as well. I do understand these things but I think it's a female thing to analyse everything and assume that it's our fault! Or is that just me? Thanks for the tip on the prem ejac too, I don't think he'd go to a doctor though and it doesn't happen all the time either. Sometimes I wonder if he just wants to get it over and done with or like you say he's really turned on by me? Don't get me wrong, it's not as if I push him all the time for it and moan and make loads of effort, I could make more but don't want him to feel like he has to to make me happy if he is just tired...

You have a bit of a confidence problem, obviously. Climaxing to "get it over with" is not normally possible for guys. If he has that much control you'd better hang on to him forever, he can also last if he wants to.

Do you guys have a chance to play together? Not sexually, just play, like flying kites or watching clouds or a food fight or a water pistol shootout. Just spend some down time together with no agenda at all. If it's winter where you are go window shopping at a mall with the expressed purpose of buying nothing.

The sex thing issue is just a small thing right now.. your confidence and self esteem are the major issues..

You have to know in your head and heart that you are good enough... if he is willing to try and get your relationship back on track and if he is thinking about YOU being the mother to his children,that in its self should be more then enough for you to know he believes your worthy.

You just have to believe it..

You made a mistake,forgive yourself and start living and building a future.. tell your boyfriend how your feeling... if he does not know,how can he reasure you.

Sounds like you need to create time together out of the bedroom to me. Guilt, tiredness and PE issues are a great recipe for creating distance rather than intimacy. Its time to take a weekend off and spend some time talking to each other and just being in each other's company. The cheating issue is possibly there in the background for him as well, and it will take time to regain the trust. But, most of all you have to learn to trust yourself!