Please help. I am really confused on what to do with myself. I have been married for about a year and we have a child. I'm still hung up on my ex. We had broke up with no reason why. I tried to contact him by writing letters but I guess he shows it to his new girlfriend and then she approaches me with anger. I mean no harm to him but miss him dearly. I just want to know if he feels the same or has some kind of feeling there. He was my first real love and I can't forget about him. Its been 4 years since this happened and for some crazy reason not a day goes by that I don't think about him. What should I do?? :confused:

You should move on with your life and be true to your husband and daughter.

Here's the deal many women get hung up on ex's - BUT it really means you have unresolved issues in the current life. Work o nyour marriage - go see a counselour NOW!!

He's an ex for a reason... it was broken. Time makes us forget the bad.

+ he's with someone else - he's with someone else AND YOUR MARRIED!!

You have a lot of issues to resolve - go see a marriage counselour.

Forget the boyfriend and put your energy into your marriage and family. It sounds like something else is going on because pining for an ex after 4 years is... not natural to me. Maybe you need professional help or someone to talk to about this issue.

Right on Tal - it means unresolved issues/problems currently.

Everyone forgets the bad in old relationships.

Yes there is definitely something wrong.

What on earth were you doing getting married if you weren't over your ex?

I feel sorry for your poor husband.

Please please go and see someone about this. It is not healthy that after 4 years you still feel this way. Sure, you'll never forget your first love and you will always have some sort of feelings for them. But for you to still be in love with him and yearn for him like this is very unhealthy and downright sad. Especially since you are married.

I can only advise to go seek professional help immediately.

Just to inform everyone I got married because I come from an old fashion environment where if you are pregnant with someone's baby then you will have to marry that person. My family is very old school and doesn't believe in marry someone else other than the father of your children. I love my husband but I do not feel like I'm "in love". I don't want people to make me feel like Im a pycho path. It just the way I feel.

We are not trying to make you feel like a Psycopath but if you can't accept that there is something drastically wrong with still being in love with an ex while also being married then we can't help you.

You need to accept that it isn't healthy and try and get some help.

Have you discussed this with your husband? Told him that you only married him because you come from and old school environment where you must marry him because he is the father of your kids?

It must be hard for you but no one should be made to marry someone they are not entirely committed to.

Everything happened really fast with us. Me and my ex ended on 12/02 on 01/03 I started talking to my husband and on 10/03 we found out I was pregnant. My husband knows that we rushed in to everything but he is always willing to work things out. I know that I shouldn't be thinking of my ex after 4 years but I just feel like we ended and I wasn't given a reason.

A lot of us never get reasons. We don't get answers. You know why? Because a lot of the time there is no reason or answer other than it simply didn't work and someone wanted out.

Would knowing why change things. Not really. You would still be married with a child and in love with an ex.

So having answers really doesn't change this situation.

Your husband was a rebound and unfortunately you feel pregnant and because of your family had to marry him. I am sorry for this situation because it isn't a very happy one.

I would love to offer more than this but I can only really recommend getting some professional advice on these issues.

Good luck and keep us posted.

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Originally Posted by kylienaz

Everything happend really fast with us. Me and my ex ended on 12/02 on 01/03 I started talking to my husband and on 10/03 we found out I was pregnant. My husband knows that we rushed in to everything but he is always willing to work things out. I know that I shouldnt be thinking of my ex after 4 years but I just feel like we ended and I wasnt given a reason.

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Its seems like your trying to hold on to the past because you have never accepted it was over with your ex. Instead of getting over it you've probably been playing the "what if" game with yourself and have not moved on. I also think you are unhappy with your present life because of this -what if- dream world you have created and refuse to let go of. You need some one to talk to very badly to help you let go and appreciate what you have now.

Spread it Skell!

Well said Tal. Clear and as it would seem so true!

I know exactly what she is going through... it happened to me too, but 12 years ago! I was in love with my first boyfriend, but we did broke up and I didn't know what was his reason to leave me but we continue our life in different ways. Besides, we were separate for few years, I was thinking about him no matter how many dates I did have. Well, I knew it was time to close that part of the chapter of my life and I starting dating to who will be my husband. BUT, still in the marriage I was thinking about my first love... and I suffered a lot because I knew it wasn't right!

One day, I called my ex boyfriend and I had a serious conversation about how I did feel , why he broke up with me... well we did open our thoughts and I felt better because all the unresolves problems ended in that conversation. From there, I continue my life and I forget about my feelings for him. Now, I can see my ex boyfriend and we treat each other with respect and a healthy way.

Now, you have to understand is obvious he don't want be with you anymore... he have a girlfriend and look he is taking this relationship seriously when he gave her your letter. Plus, He knows you are marriage. Do you think IF he return to you and you leave your marriage he will respect you as his WIFE?! NOPE, Lady I don't think so. Is really bad that you felt you have to get marriage to this guy because you was pregnant!! That is not enough reason to be in a marriage, you must to love your husband. But life is choices with cause and consecuences which you have to confront bravely. Forget about your ex and try to resolve your issues in your marriage. I wish you luck!