Ask Me Help Desk - When should the second date happen?

Last night I went out with this girl that I have just recently met at the bar last weekend and the "date" went really well. I took her mini golfing then we went for a drive around for awhile and then we went to a lounge and had some appatizers and drinks then drove her home. No goodnight kiss or anything like that but I didn't expect anything like that. I really like this girl and she told me that she had a really great time and even brought up other ideas for things we could do if we got together again.

My question is.. does this get together I just went on be cosidered a first date with her? I got her number last week and called her up asking to get together and it didn't take her long to accept the invitation so I would consider this a first date.

Also, when do you guys think it would appropriate to call her again. Should I wait a few days and then ask her out again or should I do it sooner and just see what she is up to?

And also guys do you have any ideas on where or what I could do with her on the second date?

I would wait to ask her out until you know what she would like to do on the second date. If you don't know the girl well enough to know what she likes by the second date, I'd say you need to do some more learning about this woman. This is why you should keep in contact, ask her questions, etc. Learn as much as you possibly can about her: I do NOT MEAN PHYSICALLY. I mean her behaviors, her personality, her pros and cons, her addictions, her pet peeves, etc.
(Remember too, that if you continue this relationship, learning about her doesn't stop, EVER, it is something that continues into the marriage. If you don't practice learning about her now, you will both get bored of each other later.)

This woman could be into action-flicks and video games, or she could be into the traditional romance, or perhaps she has her own definition of "romance." Maybe she's not into Mexican food, but loves Chinese... does she even like mini-golfing? You should learn these things about her before you ask her on another date.
So that's my advice, don't ask her out again, until you know what she likes, enough to even set up a second date.

I met this girl two weeks and since we met we have gone out together twice. First night we got together was just last Friday, we went mini golfing and then went for a drink and we both had a really great time. The next morning she texted me saying that she had a great time and that we should do something soon and suggested tonight we get together. We decided to go bowling and she really liked that idea but when we got there in was league night and we couldn't go. She suggested we watch a movie at her place and that's what we did. As I am sitting there we would talk and I said how I was bummed out bowling didn't work out. She said that it didn't matter what we are doing as long as we are hanging out and getting to know each other. I thought that was awesome as she is trying to get to know me as I am with her. After the movie was over I took off and she smiled at me while I was at the door and I told her that I hope to talk to her soon and she said forsure with a big smile on her face.

I am not expecting a goodnight kiss from her or anything but don't know if she was expecting one from me. I am kind of oblivious to what a girl wants or if I should make a move cause I am really respectful like that. I don't want to make a wrong move or look stupid around her but I do like her and wish I knew how she felt. We are just getting to know each other but she is hard to read in if she likes me or doesn't in that way. I think about all the time and haven't thought that way since my last girlfriend but haven't been with someone for someone that I am confused on what I can do to get her to like me or find out if she does already.

Just take it slow and let things develop naturally. The "kissing" issue usually arises at a time that seems mutually plausible for both parties... in other words, you'll know when the right time is. You are doing a good job of being respectful and just getting to know each other! Good luck!

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Originally Posted by kctiger

Just take it slow and let things develop naturally. The "kissing" issue usually arises at a time that seems mutually plausible for both parties...in other words, you'll know when the right time is. You are doing a good job of being respectful and just getting to know each other! Good luck!

100% agree and next date you go on , possibly take her out to eat and when you drop her off at her home, walk her to her door and go for a hug. When you put your arms around her you will know if its time to go for the kiss or not. Don't be discouraged, I didn't kiss my current girlfriend until like 3 weeks in and didn't hold her hand until like date number 7. She was very hard to read but now its like we have known each other our whole lives. Good luck!

Wondering if this girl likes you or not will drive you crazy. The best way to find out how she feels is practice COMMUNICATIOn... it's a biggie in any relationship, and if you want to start one with her, or any other girl, you're going to need to be open and honest in the way you speak to each other. So here's my advice: ask her where she would like your relationship to go from here. She might not have an answer for you since she did say she's just getting to know you, so be respectfull if she doesn't come up with an answer, or if it's not the one you wanted. When you ask her straight up if she likes you or not, you are learning more about her, learning more about what a healthy relationship entails, and will be putting into practice what most women want from a guy in a relationship: openness, honesty, a guy who is genuinely concerned for her feelings, thoughts, and opinions.
(also, when it comes to a goodnight kiss, it's generally a gentlemanly move to ask her permission first- so you're not making a move that you'll regret. My fiancé asked me what I thought of having my first kiss while we sat on a beach at the Mississippi river, when I told him I was okay with it, he moved onto the next subject, and surprised me with my first kiss a few minutes later. It was a happy surprise for me, and he didn't have to bother with regreting it later. Also, this happened 3 years after meeting him and 2 years into our dating relationship, it was my first kiss ever, and we're not happily engaged to be married. Saving physical contact that hints at intimacy doesn't have to happen right away in order to have the bomb relationship- in fact, it makes things less-complicated =)