How could true love like this want a break
Well here goes. My girlfriend of 3 years has recently decided that she wants to take a break. She is 22 years old now and me 24 and we have been on and off with each other since she was 15 and I 17. We didn’t make the relationship a real thing until these last 3 years and it was good for a while.
The long and the short of it was that I am the only guy she has ever been with and she had been desperately in love with me holding onto a relationship in which I reciprocated no affection. I was boring at times and enjoyed spending time with my friends more than I did her. Up until last week I would have told you that no matter what I did she would never have left me. I kidded myself into believing that she wouldn’t leave me and that I didn’t want her as she was head over heels in love with me. Now that she has decided to take a break my feelings have done exactly what I thought they were incapable of doing. They have shown themselves to me allowing me to feel the reality of my feelings for her.
I know that if I were given another chance that I wouldn’t dare keep it the way it was. I am inspired at the thought of being this new guy for her but at the same time saddened not knowing if I will have the chance of showing her. She knows I'm capable as she saw it for a while. She got tired of it not being there anymore after time and me treating her as if I was with her for convenience. I told her how I truly feel a few days after we decided to take a break. She was impressed but she still said that she didn’t want to be in a relationship right now. I don’t know how after all those years she couldn’t breathe without me now she decides my crap was enough. She always told me that she just wanted me to be affectionate and gentle with her and that she would never want anyone else but me. But when I tell her that it can be that way now and will be different she just doesn’t think she wants it right now.
She has also said that she isn’t interested in dating anyone else and she’s not the wild type to go out and just pick up another guy in the least. She is going out a bunch now having fun with new friends. I don’t know what she’s asking for but I feel she resents all the times I pushed her away and told her to give me space and possibly have her see other people to which she was never interested in doing. Now all of a sudden she wants to be single for a while. I’m devastated and believe that we could get back together for sure but am afraid if being too long. I have plenty of girls that I can date and have no problems finding new ones but I just am not interested. I want to win her back and make this right as I know I can be the right guy she needs.
Below is what she wrote me in our last round of contact about a week ago. Please anyone able to shed some light on this situation?
"Thank you for that email, being with you again is something i would
always looks at as a possibility. I dont know why i feel the way i do
right now. I just feel like i dont want to be in a relatioship and it
has nothing to do with my feelings towards you. I've cared about you
since I was 15 and nothing will change that. I just feel like its not
the right time to be in a relationship. I never wanted to hurt your
feelings and i am sorry if i did. I remember when you called me up 6
years ago to tell me we weren't gonna see each other anymore...you told
me that it woudn't mean forever and that is something i want you to
hear as well...I know that you are someone i want to always have in my
life and at the right time possibly be with again..
-morgan xoxo"